Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How Far I've Come: A Law School Journey In Self Confidence

I emailed my boss at the firm I worked for last summer asking him if he might need a legal intern for this summer. He talked it over with the other partners and then made me a job offer! I feel kind of bad landing this summer job when my friends who are graduating cannot find employment after law school. I feel really lucky that I have the opportunity to work at this firm again, that I can continue to build my relationship and rapport with the partners as well as continue to prove myself to them. The best part is that I genuinely like the firm. And the partners. And the associates. And the firm culture. And the cases they assign me.

But I don't feel like talking about the job because I don't want to make my graduating friends upset, even though I know they will be happy for me. How did I get so lucky? Really, why me? Why not my friend on law review? Or my friend on the Dean's List? Or my friend with experience working for a Big Firm? I think in law, a lot of opportunities do arise based upon your connections and who you know. Because I think you can be the smartest law student in the entire planet but if you don't have experience working on actual cases, if you don't have a pleasant or at least tolerable personality, or if you can't demonstrate your ability to work in a law firm atmosphere, then you are going to have a hard time.

I still can't decide if law firms like confidence that is borderline arrogance or if they prefer people willing to be trained. I am usually so timid and shy but I have to say that my legal work experience has boosted my cofidence in a way that law school never could. 1L year of lawschool made me feel like the tiniest organism to ever have lived. I felt so stupid and incompetent. My grades first semester reinforced those feelings. I went to law school with the goal of keeping my merit-based scholarship and making the Dean's List. After 1L year, my goal was to PASS.

Then I worked for a small law two-attorney law firm. I learned the ropes of carrying on a lawsuit and I perfected my legal research skills. I wrote memos and arguments and MY WORK was inserted into REAL motions. And motions were GRANTED based upon my research. I realized that "hey, I really CAN do this law stuff even though my grades are mediocre, at best." It's funny that my legal writing grade was just adequate and yet I went on to write arguments which eventually got my firm a win or two. It's true when they say law school is nothing like practice. You can suck at law school and still do great legal work.

I was surprised to learn that not only was I pretty OK at pretending to practice law, but I actually LIKED it! All this experience working for my hodunk, humble law firm gave me a huge confidence booster. This translated to a little more success in school (although grades are still mediocre). And my experience gave me the confidence to apply for a position in a law firm that is two steps up from hodunk. And with a paycheck that is three steps up from hodunk.

Now I am a 3L, and I feel pretty smart. I am miles away from the timid useless feeling 1L I used to be. I know what a Tort is. I know what a partner expects when he gives you a legal research assignment. I know how to write a motion. And a complaint. I know some very basic litigation strategy. I know how to write a law exam (it really IS a skill you have to learn). I know the importance of billing. And I feel that, armed with my trusty Westlaw account, there isn't a legal question that I cannot argue in my favor.

Shitting Your Pants In Class

Today, I received an email from my Sales professor telling our class to prepare an additional problem as part of our homework assignment.

Right after that I received a second email from a fellow student requesting that we meet at a certain time to work on a class project. Another student in our group was copied on the email so I replied "to all" and told my group, "That works for me!"

Or did I?

No more than 2 minutes later I received an email from my Sales professor saying "Good. I'm glad the assignment is convenient for you."

OH SHIT.

It turns out that I "replied to all" for the wrong email. I told my entire class that the additional homework assignment "works for me." I feel like I just shit my pants in the middle of class. Do I try to explain myself in a new email or do I just sit in my gooey shit and hope no one cares/notices?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Facebook Wars

I dubb this year the year of the Babies. In August my cousin had his baby boy. In September, two classmates of mine had their sons within ten days of Jacob's own birthday. In November my uncle (yes, my 50-something uncle with kids MY AGE) had a baby girl. In that month, my friend from grade school also had a baby girl. In January another cousin had a baby. In February my old roomate had her baby. Then later that month, my 50-something uncle's daughter (the cousin my age) had HER baby girl- it was a real live Father of the Bride 2.

It must be contageous. Apparently, we have been procreating fools.

But here is my problem. Most of these people who have just had babies are my Facebook friends. And many of them make annoying status messages such as "INSERT NAME thinks that no baby could be cuter than her son!" or photo captions such as "Cutest baby ever." These subjective statements are probably meant to be harmless, but I can't help but take them as passive aggressive slights. I want to reply "Really? You post this status message knowing that your friends who will be reading it just had babies of their own. Are you TRYING to pick a fight? Or are you just trying to be an attention whore? You crazy self indulgent parent!"

Yeah, I know every parent thinks her baby is the cutest baby in the world. But posting it on Facebook is like announcing it boisterously in a room full of new parents. Rude! It's like me going up to a bunch of other moms and saying "My son is way cuter than your sons." Who would do that? But it's ok to do that on FB? And doesn't "cutest baby in the world" tend to equal "cuter than yours"? Ok, I know I'm being overly sensitive, but it's just because they won't admit that Jacob is Baby Universe.

Thus begins the Facebook War.

One parent starts out by posting a picture of her baby captioned "It's not possible. There isn't a cuter baby!" The next thing I know I'm reading someone else's status update that says "hanging out with my son, the cutest little man!" Translation: "No way. MINE is cuter and I'm letting the whole world know!"

Then my cousin posts something like "My baby just crawled!" And someone comments "Oh isn' it exciting when they crawl. My son is everywhere now, we have to watch him so carefully!" Translation: "OMG my baby is way better than yours because he has been crawling for like two months already. So woop-de-doo."

Then a friend posts a picture of her son in disposable diapers. My other friend coments, "Oh you guys use disposable? We switched to cloth diapers, they've been great for us." Translation: "Disposable diapers are so ew. Your kid has no chance. We are single handedly saving the environment and raising an environmentally friendly, crunchy granola kid!" Other friend retorts, "Well, we thought about cloth diapers but we can't afford a diaper service right now." Translation: "Shut it bitch, not everyone is RICH like you."

Then my friend updates her status to "woke up to my baby's 5:00 wake up call. need coffee" Someone comments: "Just wait until he starts teething like my baby is- then it gets really bad!" Traslation: "You think your life is tough? Whatever, I'm way more tired than you will ever be. You don't even know the meaning of tired!" Someone else comments "I'm sorry. That must be hard!" Translation: "My baby started sleeping through the night at one month old- twleve hours straight. In fact, my baby is so awesome, she has a camel hump where she stores extra milk so we only have to feed her once a day."

I'd love to get all these people drunk and in the same room. In fact, let's move this fight over to YouTube~!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Edible Hair Gel

Who knew that pureed banana makes for good hair gel? I really should market this- it's perfect. It's sticky, shiny and EDIBLE! All organic, no chemicals. It is everything your old hair gel is and more. Plus, what can beat the sweet scent of banana in your hair?

Now can someone please tell Jacob not to style his hair during dinner? That would be great. Thanks.



NOTE: this is tame compared to his styling job from last night. I swear he had a good half inch coating of Apples and Chicken on top of his head- we need to teach him about moderation in the hair products department.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Smell

I sat down in my UCC class, plugged in my computer and tried to concentrate on what my professor was blabbing about. But I just couldn't. I caught a whiff of a smell that did not belong in law school- the smell of Jacob sour-formula vomit. It was intense. It was attacking my sensory organs. And it was coming at me from all sides.

Prof: "If the proceeds in collateral are cash proceeds, does the security interest remain perfected? Cee, what do you think."

What do I think? I think he glanced in my direction at the very moment I happened to be sniffing the inside of my sweater trying to locate the source of The Smell.

"Um. Let me see. Um. Sorry, can you repeat the question?"

After he repeated the question, I fumbled my way through a semi-adequate answer. When I was satisfied that Prof. was done interrogating me, I focused once again on The Smell. It was definately coming from me, but where? Trying to not attract attention to myself, I casually brought my nose to each of my shoulders (the typical vomit location) and sniffed. Nope. Not there.

I pretended to rub my forehead with the back of my hand and slipped my nose along the sleeve, sniffing in all my sweater's polyester fabric. When I got to the crook of my elbow, I nearly gagged. My eyes started to tear up and I involuntarily started to fan the air beneath my nose with my hands. Mission Accomplished.

During the break between classes I tried to rinse the dried mystery vomit out of my sweater. But during the next class, the smell still permeated my consciousness. This was worse than that time I spilled soy sauce on my hair straightener (don't ask) and everytime I plugged it in, I was overwhelmed by the smell of burned hair and soy sauce.

The worst part of this vomit smell was that it was so gross I couldn't stop voluntarily smelling it. I HATED the smell, but it was also too intriguing to just ignore. Do you know what I mean? Like the awful smell of gasoline, the pain you get from rubbing a sore muscle, and the temptation to pick a hangnail- it's kind of addicting and you just can't stop! All day long I tried to stop myself from checking if The Smell was still there. I'm sure the people around me were wondering why I kept smelling myself.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hand Me Browns

So I haven't had to buy Jacob real clothes yet. I mean, I've purchased a couple sleepers for him and some socks but we've been iving on hand me downs from his older baby cousin and my friend's older kid. Baby hand me downs are great! They are already shrunk to fit, are basically like new, and I didn't pay for them so who cares if they fall victim of the butt-volcano?

But I do have sympathy for all baby clothing fated for Jacob Armageddon. Because no clothing can survive him. I seriously have no idea how parents ever end up with hand me downs to begin with. Sure babies grow fast, usually wearing an outfit once or twice before it becomes obsolete, BUT one wear is all Jacob needs. One wear and the outfit? Destroyed! There is acidic milk smelling vomit, regurgitated sweet potato spit up and butt-volcanic oozing poo. Do I need to elaborate?

If an outfit is lucky to survive the few times Jacob wears it, it obtains immortality status. These outfits are rare. I think I need to buy Jacon a babysized haz-mat suit. If I could only get one with cute doggies or alligators on it! Jacob is probably going to think he's a goldfish for as much time as he spends in the bath tub.



Monday, March 23, 2009

Interrobanging

Me: "We are driving an eleven year old Subaru. Why the heck do you have to park as far away from the store as possible?! Who cares if someone dings the door!"
Husband: "I just like parking away from other cars. It's better."
Me: "Fine. I'm staying here."
Husband: "What?!"
Me: "Dude, it's raining and we have to lug around the baby carseat. I'm not walking that far!"
Husband: "UHHHHH. Are you kidding?"
Me: "Newp. Staying RIGHT here!"
Husband: "Fine. YOU pick out the spot then"

Another win for me.

~~~

Me [calling husband]: "Hey, it's me."
Husband: "Me who?"
Me: "It's your LOVA"..."And don't you dare say "which one" because I'm your only!"
Husband: "Fine, what do you want?"
Me: "What time will you be home? I'm making an awesome surprise dinner."
Husband: "I have a late meeting so probably not until 7:30."
Me: "Wait, aren't you going to ask me what I'm making?"
Husband: "Would you tell me if I did?"
Me: "It's going to be so amazing."
Husband: "Just tell me."
Me: "No, you have to ask."
Husband: "Sigh. Fine. What are you making?"
Me: "I'm not telling! It's a surprize!"

~~~

Me: "Can we go to Hawaii this summer?!"
Husband: "Hawaii is for tourists. Let's go to Mexico."
Me: "But I love Hawaii! You can body board and hang out on the beach drinking margaritas. And have hotel sex!"
Husband: "You can do all of that in Mexico, for a lot less money."
Me: "I don't want to go to Mexico."
Husband: "Why not?!"
Me: "They don't speak English, you can't drink the water AND they put those stupid towel animals on your bed!"

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Typical.

That is how I would describe my spring break in one word.

Spring break pretty much goes the same each year. At the beginning I take a vow to get a head start on exams, outlinings, and papers (or maybe just catch up in the classes in which I am behind- which conveniently is all of them). Somehow that vow bacomes a distant memory once break is fully underway. The rest of the week goes like this: busy, fast, shopping, movies, laundry, over. Woah! Where did it go? I didn't even get my much needed rest!

Probably the best part of break, aside from hanging out with Jacob (who woke me up at 6 every morning), was discovering a dollar store just miles from my home. I love crappy cheap stores! I bought a huge package of Thin Mints (just a dollar!) that are labeled "Real Chocolate Covered Thin Mints"!! You know, to distinguish them from the Fake ones. I also bought two large packages of marshmallows for 50 cents each, but they are called "Marshmallow Fluffy Puffs." And I decided I had to buy a box of "Puffed Crispy Ricies" (you guessed it- just a dollar!) to go with the marshmallows so that I could make rice krispy treats. Pretty much awesome.

Among some of the marvelous things I discovered at the store that didn't make it into my cart:

Miss Trixie (Barbie's knock-off slutty cousin)
generic landscape calendars from 2008
$2.00 adult bikini swimsuits
brownish lemons, 3 for a dollar
hair extensions in every color (blonde, brunette, electric blue?)
mugs with creepy animals on them
3 pair pack of granny panties (with a two inch elastic waist)
ceramic easter rabbits
39 cent can of mystery "Beans"- that's all the label said

But I did make enough rice krispy treats to feed a small army- or, at least, one small female guest from Japan. My visiting guest also packed three batches worth to take home with her. I guess there is a shortage over there.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Stop This Train

Whenever I hear that song by John Mayer, I tear up. Why? Because life is going by way too fast. And there is nothing I can do about it. When Mayer sings that he doesn't want to see his parents go, I sympathize.

I feel like my life is whizzing past me like a bullet train. I can FEEL it going by way too quickly. How can I be turning 25 this year? How? Remember when you were little and you just couldn't wait to grow up and start your life? You feel like you have a million years to live and adventure. Who you are is just one big open book and anything is possible. Now, I'm in the middle of my story, and it's a good one, don't get me wrong. But, how can it be going by so fast?

I didn't want time to slow down until Jacob was born. Before then I was always in a rush to get things done. Highschool. College. Law School. Job. I had an agenda and I felt like my life wouldn't start until I was out of school, in a house, in a marriage, and with a nice paycheck. But Jacob started my life. I no logner feel like I'm living for the future. I feel like this is exactly what I've been waiting for my whole life. Except, I don't have my whole life left.

I remember being six. Back then, my parents were the parents of young children. Now, they are grandparents! Holy hell! I just blinked and we all aged. If it seemed to go that fast for my own parents, it can only go by faster for me. In another blink, I will be in their shoes.

I just want it to slow down. I just want Jacob to be my baby for four times as long as life allows. I just want to rock him to sleep for the rest of my life. Looking at how big he has grown makes me happy in such a sad way.

This is why I cradle him to bed each night. And after he has drifted to sleep, I let him rest in the nook of my arms for a couple extra minutes before I gently lay him down. Why does life have to hurt so much?

What's Better Than Fried Chicken & Capt'n Crunch?

Capt'n Crunch fried chicken!

Whoever said you can't mix your favorite things was definitaley wrong! We went out to eat a while ago and saw that the restaurant had fried chicken that had been breaded in Capt'n Crunch cereal. I thought it sounded horrible- my husband thought it would be good but opted for a tried and true burger.

When we got home I googled the recipe. I found a ton of websites with the recipe and raving reviews. So I bit the bullet and tried it....

It was AWESOME!

I even made onion rings with the recipe too!

1. Crush captain crunch cereal (use the kind without berries- sad, I know).
2. Pour one cup of milk in a bowl and mix one egg into it.
3. pour flour into another bowl- sprinkle in pepper and onion powder if you want.
4. Take boneless skinless pieces of chicken breast abnd dip them first in the flour, then in the milk, then in the captain crunch (coat heavily in crunch).
5. Deep fry the pieces at 375 for about four minutes OR bake in an oven at 400 for ten minutes or so.

I deep fried them instead of baking them and they turned out amazing! If you do the same thing with slices of onion, you will have delicious onion rings too!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Badwill For Best Buy

I went to Best Buy yesterday to return a gift I bought for my husband. I had bought him a filter for his camera which the salesmas assured me would fit after I told him our camera/lens info and he looked up the sizes. Guess what? Didn't fit. Is this rocket science?

So I marched back into the store frustrated. I went back to the lens section and a different salesman was working the floor. He was even more stupid. He was this big teenager with pimples all over his face and, I kid not, I had to stand 2 feet away in order to avoid his mad body odor! I wanted to ask him why personal hygiene wasn't part of his job requirements.

I told him I needed this particular filter in size 52 but I didn't see any on the shelf. He looked at the shelf then looked at me. Blankly. I waited two minutes. He didn't say or do anything.

"Can you check to see if there are some in stock? Or can you ORDER it for me?"

blank look.

Finally he looks at the shelf and points to a filter. "here it is, size 52"
"Oh, really?" I was surprised. "Wait, this is the wrong filter type. I wanted the one in the blue packaging."

"Oh."

"Can you order it for me?"
"Um. Let me check the computer."

He slowly makes his way to the computer, types in some numbers and stares at the screen. I move in closer to look over his shoulder- but then reel backward after catching a whiff of his body odor which reminds me of athletes foot mixed with moldy cheezewhiz.

"Ok, here it is. It says it's in stock."
"That's the green package- I wanted the blue package, remember?"
"Um, right." More clicking and staring.
"Ok, found it. I'll write this product number down for you."
"Wait, that's the size I returned, I need a smaller size- size 52."
"Um. Ok." More clicking and staring, this time he is also mumbling to himself.
"Well, we don't have a bigger size."
"No, I need a SMALLER size!" So getting angry now!

He does some more research and then writes something on a piece of paper.
"Ok. I'll give you this product number and the guy can order it for you." He hands me the paper.
"What guy?"
"The guy in the back who does the orders."
"Where exactly is that? Where should I go"
"To the guy who can order this for you."
"Yeah but where in the store is the guy?"
"In the back."

AHHHHH!!!!

I say thanks and run away before I smack him in the face. I find another employee and am about to ask him for help when I read the paper in my hand.

It is the product number for a size 52 filter. BUT it's not for the one in the blue packaging that I want! OMG. I wanted to slump to the floor right there in front of the computer section and pound my fists into the ground! Instead, I opted to return the item for cash and bought myself ice cream.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Hardest Case Ever

An old colleague I worked with last year has branched off and started his own personal injury firm. He randomly called me last week and asked if I would take on a legal research project for him regarding one of his cases. I was so thrilled that he not only thought of me but thought of me as a savvy, smart legal researcher! It definately pays to make a good impression on people you work with- and it is true that a lot of opportunities come about because of who you know.

I met with him in his office (he let me bring Jacob!) and reviewed the case with me. This case is a tough one. I'm usually pretty good about not becoming too emotionally involved in the cases I work on. That's mostly because as an intern/clerk, I rarely actually meet the clients. They all are just names on paper to me. While I wanted to be a lawyer to not just impact people's lives but to do so in a tangile, noticeably way, sometimes I like that I don't have to get too involved as a law clerk.

This case I am working on is the toughest case ever. It involves the worst thing I could ever imagine: the death of a child. It gets worse, the death was accidental but just horrifying. And the father, whom we represent, not only witnessed the death but probably feels very guilty for setting it up to happen- even if it's not his faut. I've been putting the case off, but today I finally opened my copy of the case file. I read the police reports, the witness statements and the autopsy report. I saw imagines of the equipment that caused the death. I almost broke down more than once. I can't stop feeling sick to my stomach.

I can't imagine the pain and the guilt the father is going through right now. There cannot be anything worse in the entire world than losing a child. I don't think I could be strong enough to handle something like that. I really don't.

I keep thinking about the role of the civil suit in this situation. I fluctuate between two extremes. 1) Just drop it and try to find healing. A child is gone. No amount of litigation can bring him back and no amount of money will make you whole. 2) Go after the negligent party without mercy. They must pay.

But at the end of the day, this horrible thing cannot be undone. Even the law has its limits.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sometimes It Sucks (Out Your Energy)

When it comes to parenting, I love all the special, tender moments but I sometimes hate all the tasks that go with them. Sometimes I feel like my day fills up with menial task after menial task. Change diaper. Throw away diaper. Put away diapering stuff. Make bottle. Clean bottle. Make bottle. Clean bottle. Change another outfit. Put away the dirty/poopy clothes. Take out toys. Pick up toys. These small chores seem to steal all my time and energy. Before I know it, the day is done, I've been busy all day, but I haven't actually DONE anything.

Since starting school, I've gotten used to having Me time again. Even if I'm just studying or at school- I can set my own pace and focus on taking care of me. I'm not on call 24-7. I can sit and rest without interruption. I can actually take breaths while I eat instead of inhaling my food. I can pee at a leisurely pace! I can move from one building to another without strapping the baby into the carrier, grabbing the diaper bag and hauling everything with me. And believe it or not, It's mentalling exhausting making mommy-type decisions all day (even if it's just "bananas or prunes?") and worrying constantly.

Don't get me wrong, between all the menial tasks are golden moments of heart warming smiles, wonderous play times and sweet snuggles. I just finally realized that I dont hate doing my own thing (on my own!). It's like when you love being around your best friend, but don't want to spend every second with her.

I think I also realized HOW working moms are able to go back to work. I used to think I could never go to work with a nonschool age child at home. Instead, now I'm thinking maybe I could never really be a stay at home mom - at least not full time. I LOVE spending my time with Jacob, but I also need breaks. I need to accomplish things that fall outside the realm of baby-duty. For my own sanity, the sake of personal liberty, and for the sake of not having to inhale my breakfast sandwich!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Motor Mouth

I've been trying to capture this for weeks! Whenever Jacob starts to do this and I take out my camera he immediately stops and silently stares at me. But I caught him today after his bath. Phew, the video-journalist in me can rest easy- another Jacob moment properly documented.


video

Happy Baby



Ok, For Real Now:

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Classroom Warfare Strategies

I think every seasoned lawstudent learns strategies like this at some point. But lately, it's been such a struggle for me to get HALF my homework done on time that I am running on fumes and relying strictly on my classroom strategic tactics now.

This is what I like to call Operation: Outsmart Your Professor. Employ this strategy when you do not have enough time to finish your homework.

Step 1: Know Your Enemy

Professors generally fall into two categories: the Sporadic Peppercorner and the One-hit Wonder. You will know that your professor is a Sporadic Peppercorner (named after my favorite contracts term) when he will pick on multiple people each class period but will usually not call on a person more than once during that class period. Your professor is the One-Hit Wonder type when he will select one person to pick on for the entire class period. He may eventually call on one or two more students but will always come back to his original pickee.

Halfway through the semester, I know my Professors pretty well. I know that Prof. Sales is a Sporadic Peppercorner. He likes to call on people at random, but once he calls on you, you are safe for the rest of the class period. I ALSO know that when selecting students, he is likely to call on a person he is making eyecontact with.

Step 2: Prepare For Battle

If your professor is a Sporadic Peppercorner. Use this to your advantage. It's ok if you only have 15 minutes to complete 55 pages of reading. No Sweat! Just take the first or second assigned case and read it as thoroughly as possible. Know the procedural history and the court's ruling. Learn the relevant facts. This is all you have to do to be a success.

If your professor is a One-hit Wonder and you don't have time to complete your reading assignment, do this one thing: come to class late. That's it.

Now that you are prepared for battle, it's time to kick some @$$.

Step 3: Engage

For the Sporadic Peppercorner, the trick is to engage the enemy on YOUR terms rather than wait for him to catch you unprepared. Here is the trick: you have to VOLUNTEER. I know this is scary and you risk being unfairly labelled the class "gunner" (which is totally unfair because you are only volunteering because you slacked off). But the only alternative is to sit in your seat, sweaty and fearful, for the entire class period hoping against hope that you are not called on next- this can only get you through so many slacker days. So if you volunteer for the one case you DID read, that's it. You sound smart and prepared and you are SCOTT FREE for the rest of the class period!

Getting the professor to call on you is another story... I know Prof. Sales will call on me if I make eye contact. So I have to stare him down pretending my gaze will bore holes in his ancient, old man face.

If you have a One-hit Wonder Professor, this strategy will not work. In fact, NEVER EVER volunteer! If you volunteer for one thing, he will continue to call on you throughout class and this will end in your humiliating distruction and reveal you as the slacker you are. One point for the Socratic Method. Zero for you.

Instead, it is better so simply show up to class late, after your professor has already singled out his target for the class period. You are safe...for today.

Plan B

If all else fails and your professor ends up calling on you when you are unprepared, you must rely purely on your raw lying talent. I recommend signalling to your throat and letting out a hoarse cough. You are in deep shit unless you can convince him that you have a serious bought of lost-voice syndrome. Or you can also try to make the professor feel sorry for you by saying that you read tomorrow's assignment by accident.

This is how I managed to survive law school today. I hope this advice helps the novices. Happy Battling.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

School Meets Baby

In multiple ways.

Last week I brought Jacob to school for the first time. I did it because so many people kept asking if they could meet him. But, I'm not gonna lie, I also did it because I totally wanted to show him off.

It was so weird watching my two separate worlds collide. I felt so awkward pushing a stroller around inside the law building and I was a little self-conscious at first that people were giving me weird looks. This eventually went away as soon as I was surrounded by law school friends and acquaintances drooling over Jacob. Jacob was such a flirt and even made some new friends- who can resist!

When Jacob spit up all over the law school carpet, I totally sympathized- I've wanted to do that many times myself. Taking care of Jacob at law school surrounded by my friends really hit home how much my life has changed since he was born. My life seemed a stark contrast to the lives of all my single, carefree friends.

Nothing revealed this more than my first post-baby attempt to write a paper. I had a short paper to write this weekend. It was only five pages long so I thought it would be a cake-walk. WRONG. OMG, trying to finish a paper with a baby in the house is impossible. I was able to get someone to watch him on Saturday but, that meant I was home alone and baby FREE! I wrote a couple of pages and then could resist the freedom no longer! I relaxed and caught up on me time. Then Sunday night I was scrambling to finish, proof-read, and complete citations for my paper. It was ridiculously difficult. Whenever I would sit long enought to gather a string of coherent thoughts, Jacob would need me- yikes!

Eventually I got it done but not until after Jacob went down for the night.

Despite all that- I wouldn't change my lawschool-mom situaton for the world. I do miss my freedom sometimes but I love having someone else to live for everyday. Babies are SO MUCH work and being a parent is probably the greatest life-style change there is but it's impossible to ignore the amount of additional joy Jacob has brought to my life. I get to return home from school to this little person who has completely captured my heart and loves me back unconditionally. I would never trade this in for my carefree, sleeping-in days of old. Ever!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Jacob 6 Month Stats

Jacob had his six month check up this week. O.M.G. Jacob is half a year old already? What the heck!

A day prior to his check up my mom and I started making bets on how heavy we thought he was. She was spot on. Jacob weighed 16 lbs, 4 oz putting him in the 25th percentile again. His height measured 27 inches- within the 75 percentile. And his freaking nogging measured at the 97th percentile! It's amazing to me that his height has followed the growth curve for his percentile perfectly! Isn't that amazing how doctors can predict a baby's rate of growth?! Crazy!

However, Jacob's head seems to be growing exponentially. For the past two check ups his head size had been in the 90th percentile and for it to jump to the 97th percentile seems crazy! Jacob's head circumference has grown at a steady rate of 1cm/month since the day he was born! At this rate, Jacob's Charlie Brown head will be off the charts at his nine month check up.

Jacob is sitting on his own for incredibly long periods of time now. AND my baby now rolls from his back to his tummy, promoting his mobility to HOLY SHIT THE BABY IS ACROSS THE ROOM EATING A DUSTBUNNY status. Oh life just BEGINS to get exciting here. Jacob also can pass objects from one hand to the other. And it is so funny to watch how intrigued he becomes over a new toy or mundane-household-object-turned-toy (sorry Jacob, you still can't eat the dust bunnies but get used to seeing them as they are a permanent feature of our habitat).

My all-time favorite new Jacob development is that when he is tired or fussy he will want only me. When I come home from classes after being away from him all day, the second he sees me he starts to cry and sway his entire body in my direction with arms outstretched. The second I disappear again, he will start to bawl. After being away from him all day, he wants nothing for the rest of the evening but to be held by ME. And I love it!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Pa'dnas

Today I was working on a group project with another student and, unfortunately, we had the following conversation:

Me: "Sorry I didn't get more work done, I had the flu last weekend."
Guy: "Oh that's ok. I actually had the flu too."
Me: "Wasn't it awful? I hate getting sick."
Guy: "Yeah and now my partner has it."
Me: "You got your partner sick? He must be mad at you. I got my husband sick and he won't forgive me!"
Guy: "I don't know if I gave it to him since I didn't really hang out with him at all."
Me: "Well, now you're all better you can take care of him right?"
Guy: "Um. Ok?"
Me: "You're not going to take care of your own partner when he's sick? Not even bring him chicken soup?"
Guy: "I don't know him that well."
Me: "What? Your PARTNER?"
Guy: "Ohmigod. You think I'm gay?"
Me: GULP. "When you said 'partner'..." ...
Guy: "He's my partner for the MOOT COURT competition!"

Awkward silence.

Guy: "I can't BELIEVE you thought I was gay!"

Excuse me while I go feel embarassed now.

Monday, March 2, 2009

YAY For The Flu!

Thanks to two days of eating nothing and three more days of having no appetite, I finally lost those five extra baby pounds! Woo hoo!

This wasn't exactly the way I planned on losing the weight. But hey, I deserve something positive to come out of this Extreme Flu Bug of Death.

Someone at school today commented on how I looked more slender. I told her it was because I had been crippling ill. And she was all like, "Awww, I want the flu. Can you give it to me?"

Gross. Seriously I have done some desperate stuff to lose weight- like the time I didn't drink water for a whole day and then ran 3 miles in order to squeeze into a dress the next day- but I doubt I would ever VOLUNTEER to dry heeve for 24 hours and fry my brains out with a fever just to lose 5 pounds. But then again, under the right circumstances, just maybe, I would?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Most Hated Bug Of All

I was feeling pretty smug last week when throngs of my classmates, friends and relatives were falling ill to the flu bug. I felt undefeatable- this was the fourth year in a row that the flu had passed me by.

But I gloated too soon. Or forgot to knock on wood.

I came down with a horrible flu bug Saturday. It was the crippling kind full of frequent bowel movements, unpleasant bouts of dry-heaving (after my stomach emptied the three oreo cookies I ate for dessert last night- now I don't have to feel guilty?), and depilitating chills/low grade fever. I forgot how helpless the flu makes you feel. I couldn't get out of bed for the life of me. All I managed to do was groan, toss, toss my cookies (literally), and shiver.

I had to leave it to my husband to take care of Jacob. He did an excellent job too! As I slept off the flu (I easily slept for 18 hours on Saturday), he took Jacob for a walk around the hood, fed him bottles, played with him and gave him a nap. I felt so awful not being able to take care of my own baby- but I couldn't even take care of myself!

By the end of the day I was weak and still had a fever/chills but was able to get up and help my husband out a little. He looked drained. Then he started to get sick too. He couldn't even touch one slice of pizza he had ordered (that is serious husband sickness right there!). It was his turn to be bed ridden. But I was starting to feel icky again too, barely able to sit up.

Meanwhile Jacob was crying for a bottle and a nap. I watched him fuss and then start to cry. I wanted to comfort him but my body was revolting. I felt horrible and inept as a parent. I did what every good mom should do. I called for an intervention.

A Grandma intervention.

While my mom was on her way to pick Jacob up, I forced myself to make his bottle- walking around the house hunched over like I had just been punched in the gut. I picked him up (barely) and did my best to hold and feed him. Finally my mom came and picked up Jacob. I was sad to see him go even just for the night but I knew I couldn't take care of him.

I immediately passed out on the couch, curled up under my blanket and continued to cold sweat all night long. I woke up with a headache and a weak feeling but other than that I felt good. I grabbed two slices of toast- the first thing I had to eat in 36 hours and watched a movie before checking in on Jacob.