While reading cases for a research project I'm involved in, I had a sudden flashback to the very first time I ever read a law case. Like every other lawschool graduate/attorney out there, I've probably read hundreds upon hundreds of legal opinions written by the court.
During my research project, I realized how much reading case law is second nature to me. I can (and sometimes do) pick up a stack of cases and skim through it flippantly during my lunch break in search of something relevant to an issue I'm dealing with. I can even do this while scarfing down a bowl of raisin, date and walnut oatmeal, sipping Det Dr. Pepper, and catching up on my emails. Reading caselaw is just a routine part of my life.
BUT. To this day, I can STILL remember the very first time I ever read a legal opinion. Not just a nicely edited portion of an opinion conveniently printed in a caselaw book- but an actual case, printed in full from a legal report.
It's clear to me now that an essential part of lawschool is the hazing of not knowing what the hell you're doing. In this respect, lawschool totally prepares you for a shining career in the legal field. In fact, I think the motto of legal education across the country should be "if you think you know what you're doing, you're probably doing it wrong" or "if you have no clue what's going on, you're in the right place." Anyway, back to reading caselaw.... If you look up the definition of legal career, the words "on the job training" should be the first thing you read.
The first time a lawstudent reads an actual case is a major milestone, fundamental to the experience of becoming a lawyer. Or, at the very least, a definingly traumatic experience. For me, it was scary, exciting and adventurous. And I believe the accompanying feeling of utter confusion it brought may never be rivaled.
The first law case I ever read was Marbury v. Madison (boy, what a doozy for a first time caselaw reader). (Tangent: The second case I ever read was Pierson v. Post. Seriously? One person sued another person over a dead fox? Moral of the story-- "fox killers always prosper?"). The day before my first 1L lawschool class, I opened up and printed the case. And... I couldn't get past the first page without thinking I was reading something in code or foreign language.
The caption was intimidating and scary- what did it all mean? What is a plaintiff? What is a defendant. What are the justices saying? Are they writing in latin? Then I remember how amazed I was when my Professor unravelled the case for me, dissecting it piece by piece. I remember how awestruck I was to learn that just the name of a case tells you who was suing who and where and when. I was amazed to discover that the seemingly incoherent document I read the night before actually meant something, and it meant something rather significant in the field of law.
I clearly remember looking at the jibberish contained within that first case, reading it diligently all the way through and still not knowing who had "won" the suit? In fact, I can't tell you how many times I did this my first semester of law school.
"So a case is 'remanded'.... wait, who wins again?" (Sound familiar?)
Looking back at where I was before lawschool, before I was consumed by the strange requirement to read case law, it's not hard to be amazed at how much has become second nature and fundamental to what I do on a daily basis. Without remembering how far I've come, it's so easy to take for granted all the stuff that I've learned that lead me to where I am now.
Practicing law is such a wild, exhilarating ride. Or I could just be a total nerd.
Showing posts with label law school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law school. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Janet Jackson Teaches Contracts
Everyone in law school has had that one, unforgettable teacher. The one that scares the crap out of you but also makes you smile. The one that has left a lasting impression on you. The one that embodies the entirety of your lawschool experience: fear, passion, amazement, anticipation, and dread. That one teacher who makes the law come alive (if only for 50 minutes three times a week). The one that invests all he has into you and in return expects nothing but your best.
For me that teacher was Prof. Mahmud.
He would impound upon us the importance of an enforcable promise (if a hypothetical contract was not enforcable he would tell the hypothetical plaintiff to "go to hell"). He dressed up in a devil costume for an after school party he threw for us (inspired by "go to hell"). When he called on a student, he would cock his finger into the air as if he were wielding a hangun. If they got it wrong, he would aim and shoot right at their face (one guy messed up so badly, he found himself looking down the barrel of a two-handed rifle.)
This professor's story in itself is inspiring. He came to the US from India. His first job in the US was working for a Seven Eleven. He inspired a group of us to go down to New Orleans and help out in the wake of Hurrican Katrina. He told it like it was. No pretentious BS. He was a fan of alcohol and made it know to us all. His most commonly spoke phrase was "hell, damn, no!" That is by far my favorite "swear" phrase.
But as I prepare for the bar exam, one thing he taught me stands out far above everything else. Thanks to this man, I can be comforted by the fact that I will never fail to spot and analyze a "consideration" issue. Each time I see a contract formation problem, I remember his trick for learning consideration: he sang a Janet Jackson song.
"Ooh, ooooh, oooh. What have you done for me lately?"
Consideration must have legal value "WHAT."
It must be something untertaken by the promisee "have YOU."
Benefitting the promisor "done for ME."
That cannot be a prior obligation "LATELY."
Throw in some extra "oooh"s for good measure: "ooh, oooh, oooh!"
And that concludes the most useful blogpost I will ever write.
For me that teacher was Prof. Mahmud.
He would impound upon us the importance of an enforcable promise (if a hypothetical contract was not enforcable he would tell the hypothetical plaintiff to "go to hell"). He dressed up in a devil costume for an after school party he threw for us (inspired by "go to hell"). When he called on a student, he would cock his finger into the air as if he were wielding a hangun. If they got it wrong, he would aim and shoot right at their face (one guy messed up so badly, he found himself looking down the barrel of a two-handed rifle.)
This professor's story in itself is inspiring. He came to the US from India. His first job in the US was working for a Seven Eleven. He inspired a group of us to go down to New Orleans and help out in the wake of Hurrican Katrina. He told it like it was. No pretentious BS. He was a fan of alcohol and made it know to us all. His most commonly spoke phrase was "hell, damn, no!" That is by far my favorite "swear" phrase.
But as I prepare for the bar exam, one thing he taught me stands out far above everything else. Thanks to this man, I can be comforted by the fact that I will never fail to spot and analyze a "consideration" issue. Each time I see a contract formation problem, I remember his trick for learning consideration: he sang a Janet Jackson song.
"Ooh, ooooh, oooh. What have you done for me lately?"
Consideration must have legal value "WHAT."
It must be something untertaken by the promisee "have YOU."
Benefitting the promisor "done for ME."
That cannot be a prior obligation "LATELY."
Throw in some extra "oooh"s for good measure: "ooh, oooh, oooh!"
And that concludes the most useful blogpost I will ever write.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
My Law School Is Holding My Career Hostage
Lawschool was a long, winding road. So many ups and so many downs. Many hours in the library pouring over books, cramming information into my brain. Many hours sitting in the classroom soaking up knowledge from my professors. Just as many hours sitting on the ferry or in my car. And after all that it seems like my school isn't quite ready to forget me.
I paid over $100,000.00 (count the zeros!) for my legal education. In addition to spending the equivalent of half a mortgage on my education, I ate at the school food bar three times a week. Bought a coffee from the school each day. Purchased over-priced candy bars at the school bookstore. Bought countless hoodies, coffee mugs and car stickers (and a pair of socks to cover my hands the day I forgot my gloves). Donated my locker deposit as a graduation gift. Stuffed coins into the school vending machines and parking meters.
And now, after all that money down the drain and into the greedy coffers of my law school, how do they repay me?
They hold my diploma hostage for an unpaid $12 library fine.
I feel like I've just been kicked in the rear, with a steel toed boot handcrafted just for me by Life Sucks A Big One.
And THAT, my friends, is why you always pay your library fines.
I paid over $100,000.00 (count the zeros!) for my legal education. In addition to spending the equivalent of half a mortgage on my education, I ate at the school food bar three times a week. Bought a coffee from the school each day. Purchased over-priced candy bars at the school bookstore. Bought countless hoodies, coffee mugs and car stickers (and a pair of socks to cover my hands the day I forgot my gloves). Donated my locker deposit as a graduation gift. Stuffed coins into the school vending machines and parking meters.
And now, after all that money down the drain and into the greedy coffers of my law school, how do they repay me?
They hold my diploma hostage for an unpaid $12 library fine.
I feel like I've just been kicked in the rear, with a steel toed boot handcrafted just for me by Life Sucks A Big One.
And THAT, my friends, is why you always pay your library fines.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
WOO HOO!
I FINALLY got my last lawschool grade in from last semester. I was hanging on to my sanity by a thread waiting for it. My cumulative GPA was barely a 3.0 and I needed a 3.0 to be cume laude. Plus, I wanted to know if I really, officially graduated and didn't fail my last exam.
I started out my lawschool career in the depths of despair when it came to grades. My grades were NOT good. But I could say I was at the top- I was at the top of the bottom half of the class. My GPA averaged 2.7. I had NEVER gotten a C before in my LIFE- not in highschool and not in college. Now I was averaging B-. I felt stupid. I felt like I could never be good enough for law school. I felt like I should drop out.
But I kept with it despite the initial shock of my grades. Second semester 1L year was not much better- but a little better. I was at a 2.8. 2L year, I had enough law school exams under my belt to kinda know how to prepare better and ended with a 2.9. The hardest part was that no matter how hard I tried I always got the same results. It was definately frustrating. And even doing a little better didn't help much because all my achievements got absorbed by my horrible 1L grades.
By 3L year, I had it down. I knew how to barely study at all and still pull a B average. At this point each A I received was cancelled out by a C. But the point I want to make is --- fear not! All you law students who feel crappy and horrible and think that you suck. It is and will be OK. Law students are pretty much the cream of the intellectual crop to begin with. If you only get C's in law school, it's because you are competing with all the most brilliant minds of your generation (or older generations). And guess what? If you do horribly 1L year, you can gradually work your way to an acceptable place by the time you graduate.
My last semester is great evidence of that. Before last semester I had a 2.91 average or something like that. But all my experience from past semesters and all the skill I obtained about taking effective notes, picking out the important things from notes, and taking an exam really paid off- finally. By then I knew how to take a law school exam and that is really the key right there. You can know all the rules by heart but if you don't know how to take a law school exam, it won't matter. That is really the key right there! So, this semester I I ended up pulling off a 3.59. I don't know how I did. But I did! I can graduate cume laude now!
I finally feel like I got the results I deserve. I finally feel recognized and appreciated. I finally feel like law school is paying off. While I have always been a proponent of grades don't matter (I got a job offer while my GPA was still a 2.9). I do appreciate how amazing it feels to get the grades you feel that you deserve.
So hang in there 1Ls and don't let your grades get you down too much. You will still learn a heck of a lot in lawschool and at the end of it you will officially be a Doctor. I am so excited to be Dr. Cee now. I can't wait to make a hotel reservation under that name and see if I get some special treatment.
"Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?"
"I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper."
I started out my lawschool career in the depths of despair when it came to grades. My grades were NOT good. But I could say I was at the top- I was at the top of the bottom half of the class. My GPA averaged 2.7. I had NEVER gotten a C before in my LIFE- not in highschool and not in college. Now I was averaging B-. I felt stupid. I felt like I could never be good enough for law school. I felt like I should drop out.
But I kept with it despite the initial shock of my grades. Second semester 1L year was not much better- but a little better. I was at a 2.8. 2L year, I had enough law school exams under my belt to kinda know how to prepare better and ended with a 2.9. The hardest part was that no matter how hard I tried I always got the same results. It was definately frustrating. And even doing a little better didn't help much because all my achievements got absorbed by my horrible 1L grades.
By 3L year, I had it down. I knew how to barely study at all and still pull a B average. At this point each A I received was cancelled out by a C. But the point I want to make is --- fear not! All you law students who feel crappy and horrible and think that you suck. It is and will be OK. Law students are pretty much the cream of the intellectual crop to begin with. If you only get C's in law school, it's because you are competing with all the most brilliant minds of your generation (or older generations). And guess what? If you do horribly 1L year, you can gradually work your way to an acceptable place by the time you graduate.
My last semester is great evidence of that. Before last semester I had a 2.91 average or something like that. But all my experience from past semesters and all the skill I obtained about taking effective notes, picking out the important things from notes, and taking an exam really paid off- finally. By then I knew how to take a law school exam and that is really the key right there. You can know all the rules by heart but if you don't know how to take a law school exam, it won't matter. That is really the key right there! So, this semester I I ended up pulling off a 3.59. I don't know how I did. But I did! I can graduate cume laude now!
I finally feel like I got the results I deserve. I finally feel recognized and appreciated. I finally feel like law school is paying off. While I have always been a proponent of grades don't matter (I got a job offer while my GPA was still a 2.9). I do appreciate how amazing it feels to get the grades you feel that you deserve.
So hang in there 1Ls and don't let your grades get you down too much. You will still learn a heck of a lot in lawschool and at the end of it you will officially be a Doctor. I am so excited to be Dr. Cee now. I can't wait to make a hotel reservation under that name and see if I get some special treatment.
"Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?"
"I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper."
Sunday, January 17, 2010
You May Be A Mother In The Legal Profession When You Daily Handle Misplaced Poop, Scare Away Friends, And Try To Survive Barbri
I can say that I have been studying for 15 days straight. And when I say straight I mean continuously (hey that's just three elements shy of adverse possession!). I don't know how to describe the feeling of coming out of a two week period of constant study just to realize you still have over a whole month to go. Think about how horrible law finals are then wrap your brain around extending those two weeks of hell into two months of hell.
I have so many laws swimming aroung in my head right now that I'm afraid of talking to other people. I'm afraid that something in our conversation will remind me of a rule of law and I will feel compelled to share it right on the spot. I'm afraid of reading anything other than my barbri books in case new knowledge in equals old knowledge out. Most importantly, I am afraid of over-complaining to my husband in case doing so will terminate any chance of future reproduction I have with that man. So far I think he just takes pity on me and, above anything else right now(aside from willing the bar exam out of existence), I want everyone's pity.
It's immature, I know. But I'm so miserable in bar exam land (and I'm doing it all alone at home!) that I want everyone around me to know and feel how miserable I am. I want to share with everyone how horrible it is, this thing I have to do. And that is why I should be thankful that I am a recluse shut-in until AFTER the bar is over.
And yes, we don't have the MBE here in Washington but you know what? You should still feel sorry for me because we have INDIAN LAW. No, it's not as fun as it sounds-nothing about cool indigenous rituals, nothing about buffalos or wolf packs, no bow and arrows, and NO COWBOYS. It's all federal preemption, complex federal statutes, jurisdiction and defining Indian Country (which incidentally may include Indian land and non-Indian land). Did you know there is a difference between non-Indians and Non-member Indians. Yeah, I had to re-listen to that lecture five times.
The worst part of bar prep is that I feel like I'm letting the rest of my life fall to the wayside. My house is a mess, my laundry is in heaps around my house (and I think it may be harboring something organic) and I don't get to spend any time with my quickly growing toddler. He learns new stuff everyday at his grandparents house and I just get to hear about it after the fact. At night when I put him to bed, I just want to cuddle with him, hold him in my arms forever and try to preserve everything about him that's so precious. Lately he's been missing me so much that he wants me to rock him to sleep each night (he usually goes into his crib and falls asleep on his own). I rock him for a little but the stress of three untaken practice exams waiting for me is just to much and I have to put him down.
So I try to make the times I do have with him count. Making him breakfast and getting him ready for bed. And everyday, no matter how much I have to do, I take time out for us to eat dinner together. All this juggling and balancing is making me exhausted. And then I give Jacob his bath and he drains out all the water and poops in the tub. Then, while I'm grabbing some toilet paper to clean it up, he grabs the poop and rubs it all over his belly. WONDERFUL!
I have so many laws swimming aroung in my head right now that I'm afraid of talking to other people. I'm afraid that something in our conversation will remind me of a rule of law and I will feel compelled to share it right on the spot. I'm afraid of reading anything other than my barbri books in case new knowledge in equals old knowledge out. Most importantly, I am afraid of over-complaining to my husband in case doing so will terminate any chance of future reproduction I have with that man. So far I think he just takes pity on me and, above anything else right now(aside from willing the bar exam out of existence), I want everyone's pity.
It's immature, I know. But I'm so miserable in bar exam land (and I'm doing it all alone at home!) that I want everyone around me to know and feel how miserable I am. I want to share with everyone how horrible it is, this thing I have to do. And that is why I should be thankful that I am a recluse shut-in until AFTER the bar is over.
And yes, we don't have the MBE here in Washington but you know what? You should still feel sorry for me because we have INDIAN LAW. No, it's not as fun as it sounds-nothing about cool indigenous rituals, nothing about buffalos or wolf packs, no bow and arrows, and NO COWBOYS. It's all federal preemption, complex federal statutes, jurisdiction and defining Indian Country (which incidentally may include Indian land and non-Indian land). Did you know there is a difference between non-Indians and Non-member Indians. Yeah, I had to re-listen to that lecture five times.
The worst part of bar prep is that I feel like I'm letting the rest of my life fall to the wayside. My house is a mess, my laundry is in heaps around my house (and I think it may be harboring something organic) and I don't get to spend any time with my quickly growing toddler. He learns new stuff everyday at his grandparents house and I just get to hear about it after the fact. At night when I put him to bed, I just want to cuddle with him, hold him in my arms forever and try to preserve everything about him that's so precious. Lately he's been missing me so much that he wants me to rock him to sleep each night (he usually goes into his crib and falls asleep on his own). I rock him for a little but the stress of three untaken practice exams waiting for me is just to much and I have to put him down.
So I try to make the times I do have with him count. Making him breakfast and getting him ready for bed. And everyday, no matter how much I have to do, I take time out for us to eat dinner together. All this juggling and balancing is making me exhausted. And then I give Jacob his bath and he drains out all the water and poops in the tub. Then, while I'm grabbing some toilet paper to clean it up, he grabs the poop and rubs it all over his belly. WONDERFUL!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Disclaimer: BarBri Is Making Me Crazy
In between trips to the grocery store in my sweat pants for "HELP, MORE CHOCOLATE!" and listening to Barbri lectures on my loaner fancy pants ipod touch, I'm constantly hitting the refresh button on my school email, waiting for the long overdue emails indicating that my grades have started to trickle in. (By the way, funny story: when my son was born one of our good friends told me "Ok, just don't let yourself go and become one of those moms who does her grocery shopping in her sweats!" I didn't know what to say to that considering the fact that I had been grocery shopping in my sweats since college. How are you supposed to fit the donut in the car ride home into your belly if it that belly is being restricted by tight waisted jeans?- DUH!).
So, it's been almost a month since I took my first exam and I had yet to receive a single grade. Meanwhile, one of my best highschool friends took her physical therapist licensing exam to practice in the state AND received her passing results in the manner of two weeks. What's up with that people? The law school has taken my money, the tattered remnants of the last good years of my youth and my self-confidence. Do they want to take my sanity too? Because I'm going crazy wondering if I passed law school or not. Are they trying to wring out as much pain from me as possible? You know as a nice parting gift?
At 4:30pm, I figured I would refresh my inbox one last time for the day figuring if they don't post grades during business hours then they certainly won't do so in the middle of the night. Wistfully and doubtfully, I hit "refresh." My heart skipped a tiny beat when I noticed that I had one new message in my inbox. My heart skipped a medium sized beat when I read the subject of that email: "Grades for Pre-Trial Advocacy Have Been Posted." Oh lordy. Here we go. This was my big whopping 4 credit class and probably the greatest variable as far as my grades went this semester. You see, my professors for this class decided that, although we had to turn in actual legal work product for a pretend case, such as Motions for Summary Judgment and Discovery Requests as well as give a final oral argument in front of a REAL judge, we hadn't received ANY qualitative feedback whatsoever.
I wonder what goes through the heads of other students as they retrieve their grades- what do other students feel? My experiences have always been the same. I click on the link to retrieve my grade and my heart starts pounding wildly in my chest. I have to enter my log in information and I can barely see from the crazy pounding reverbrating through my body to the cores of my eyeballs. As I am about to click the button to load my grades onto the screen, warmth injects itself into all my veins. I seriously can feel the blood pumping through each one in my hands, in my feet, in my forehead. Then I start to tingle. It's the kind of suspenseful tingle you get right before you almost fall off a ten foot ladder but catch yourself just in time. But mostly just my bottom is tingling. Don't ask, I have no idea why. My bottom always used to tingle when my mom would kiss me goodnight as a kid. It used to tingle when my husband would kiss me when we were dating. And, it also tingles when I look up my grades- it never ever tingles outside of these three instances- weird huh?
Ok anyway, enough tingling, the page starts to load and I whisper to myself, "Please God, please God, please God!" Something about the situation always insights the deeply buried relgious zealot on me. And right before I scroll down to see the tiny little letter grade wielding oh so much importance, I pause to think. "This is it. In one second I will either be happy or sad."
The moment of truth arrives. The tingling and the heart pounding has built up into an unbearable zenith and.....
B+.................
I stop a moment to think about if this is good or bad. In college, as like other law students, I received straight As all the time. A B+ in college would have made me sad. But this is lawschool, this is an entirely different ball game. Law school has stripped away most of my confidence and my high standards, leaving me to feel as if I were completely and utterly naked on a busy public street. So, my metaphorical nakedness considered, this is.... the BEST GRADE EVER! (I have received an occasional A in law school, but without fail, it has always been tempered by a big fat C).
I am happy. I think I'll scarf some more chocolates as I sit in my sweats and listen to Barbri lectures.
So, it's been almost a month since I took my first exam and I had yet to receive a single grade. Meanwhile, one of my best highschool friends took her physical therapist licensing exam to practice in the state AND received her passing results in the manner of two weeks. What's up with that people? The law school has taken my money, the tattered remnants of the last good years of my youth and my self-confidence. Do they want to take my sanity too? Because I'm going crazy wondering if I passed law school or not. Are they trying to wring out as much pain from me as possible? You know as a nice parting gift?
At 4:30pm, I figured I would refresh my inbox one last time for the day figuring if they don't post grades during business hours then they certainly won't do so in the middle of the night. Wistfully and doubtfully, I hit "refresh." My heart skipped a tiny beat when I noticed that I had one new message in my inbox. My heart skipped a medium sized beat when I read the subject of that email: "Grades for Pre-Trial Advocacy Have Been Posted." Oh lordy. Here we go. This was my big whopping 4 credit class and probably the greatest variable as far as my grades went this semester. You see, my professors for this class decided that, although we had to turn in actual legal work product for a pretend case, such as Motions for Summary Judgment and Discovery Requests as well as give a final oral argument in front of a REAL judge, we hadn't received ANY qualitative feedback whatsoever.
I wonder what goes through the heads of other students as they retrieve their grades- what do other students feel? My experiences have always been the same. I click on the link to retrieve my grade and my heart starts pounding wildly in my chest. I have to enter my log in information and I can barely see from the crazy pounding reverbrating through my body to the cores of my eyeballs. As I am about to click the button to load my grades onto the screen, warmth injects itself into all my veins. I seriously can feel the blood pumping through each one in my hands, in my feet, in my forehead. Then I start to tingle. It's the kind of suspenseful tingle you get right before you almost fall off a ten foot ladder but catch yourself just in time. But mostly just my bottom is tingling. Don't ask, I have no idea why. My bottom always used to tingle when my mom would kiss me goodnight as a kid. It used to tingle when my husband would kiss me when we were dating. And, it also tingles when I look up my grades- it never ever tingles outside of these three instances- weird huh?
Ok anyway, enough tingling, the page starts to load and I whisper to myself, "Please God, please God, please God!" Something about the situation always insights the deeply buried relgious zealot on me. And right before I scroll down to see the tiny little letter grade wielding oh so much importance, I pause to think. "This is it. In one second I will either be happy or sad."
The moment of truth arrives. The tingling and the heart pounding has built up into an unbearable zenith and.....
B+.................
I stop a moment to think about if this is good or bad. In college, as like other law students, I received straight As all the time. A B+ in college would have made me sad. But this is lawschool, this is an entirely different ball game. Law school has stripped away most of my confidence and my high standards, leaving me to feel as if I were completely and utterly naked on a busy public street. So, my metaphorical nakedness considered, this is.... the BEST GRADE EVER! (I have received an occasional A in law school, but without fail, it has always been tempered by a big fat C).
I am happy. I think I'll scarf some more chocolates as I sit in my sweats and listen to Barbri lectures.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Real Life, Say Hello To Cee
I AM DONE WITH LAW SCHOOL.
DONE.
FOREVER!
No more exams (oh wait, there's a little three day thing called the BAR). No more lectures (oh wait, Barbri lectures all January). Nothing to tie me to the law school (oh wait, I owe them approximately $120K). I am a free (not-quite) woman!
Ok, so my victory is not complete nor my freedom uninhibited. But I still feel GREAT! I drank too much coffee this morning and I've been full of excess energy since. My last exam was at 8:30 and I just turned it in! The exam itself was a horrible mess. Two hours to shift through a three page hypo with a 20 page insurance policy attached. Damn. I knew the material. I rock insurance law- it's my area of practice. But I just didn't have enough time! I felt horrible when the proctor called time. But I only let myself feel bad for 10 minutes. Now I'm footloose and fancy free!
I'm going SHOPPING! I'm going to not think about law school for the rest of my life (unless it's to fantasize about my hot nerdy bowtie professor). I'm going to go home and do mindless activities like read western romance novels and watch cheesy Hallmark christmas specials. Then I'm going to make out with my husband and fall asleep early! Wow, I'm so out of control. World, are you READY for the uninhibited, sleep deprived, end of finals-induced craziness of ME?
LIFE LOOKS GOOD on the other side of law school.
DONE.
FOREVER!
No more exams (oh wait, there's a little three day thing called the BAR). No more lectures (oh wait, Barbri lectures all January). Nothing to tie me to the law school (oh wait, I owe them approximately $120K). I am a free (not-quite) woman!
Ok, so my victory is not complete nor my freedom uninhibited. But I still feel GREAT! I drank too much coffee this morning and I've been full of excess energy since. My last exam was at 8:30 and I just turned it in! The exam itself was a horrible mess. Two hours to shift through a three page hypo with a 20 page insurance policy attached. Damn. I knew the material. I rock insurance law- it's my area of practice. But I just didn't have enough time! I felt horrible when the proctor called time. But I only let myself feel bad for 10 minutes. Now I'm footloose and fancy free!
I'm going SHOPPING! I'm going to not think about law school for the rest of my life (unless it's to fantasize about my hot nerdy bowtie professor). I'm going to go home and do mindless activities like read western romance novels and watch cheesy Hallmark christmas specials. Then I'm going to make out with my husband and fall asleep early! Wow, I'm so out of control. World, are you READY for the uninhibited, sleep deprived, end of finals-induced craziness of ME?
LIFE LOOKS GOOD on the other side of law school.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Eyeball Melt
Today I reviewed 20 insurance law cases in five hours. It feels like my eyeballs are melting down my cheeks (insert the image from Raiders of the Lost Arc when the German bad dude melts after the Arc of the Covenant is opened). This explains why my eyesight has deteriorated so badly in the last three years. And I still have 37 cases left to tackle before 8:30am on Wednesday.
Hurts. So. Bad. Quick, send Chocolate!
Or Obama in a bowtie (hotness).
Hurts. So. Bad. Quick, send Chocolate!
Or Obama in a bowtie (hotness).
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Key To Exam Success Is All In Your Panties
Is it the fact that each law school exam gets a smidgen easier? Is it the fact that I just don't care as much as I did 1L year? Is it the fact that I know how to prepare? Or is it the fact that I wore my underwear inside out?
I don't know what it is! But someway, somehow, miraculously, law school exams don't seem so hard. I completed my second exam in three days and, surprisingly, I feel very good about both exams. This never happens. I ALWAYS feel like I did terribly the second I walk out of the exam room. The main reason is that I never feel like I have enough time. Definately, I would say that time is an examming lawstudents' worse enemy (and a small bladder, and the girl in front of you who keeps blowing ridiculous amounts of snot out of her nose).
I had a Professional Responsibility exam on Thursday. It began at 8:30am (horrible!). The truth about this class is that I did not do ONE assigned reading the whole semester. Then three days before the exam, I started reading the assignments. They were pretty short, for a law school course. I learned the Model Rules like the back of my hand- by that I mean I used 10pt font to summarize the rules applicable to each "ethical problem." We were allowed to bring in one double sided 8.5 x 11 paper. I saw at least five students with miniscule, telescopic font printed in at least five columns across their page- I think they fit their entire outline on there! I zoomed through the problems and was finished with 30 minutes to go! I even had time to go to the bathroom and review my answers. But the amazing thing is that I felt confident about the whole thing. What the??? This isn't right. Something must be wrong!
Then I figured out the secret that I wish I knew all along. After my seemingly breezy exam experience, I went to the bathroom and realized that I had put on my underwear inside out by accident. (I am a lawstudent, I can analyze death defying, three page hypos in under the time limit, but I can't put my underwear on right!). Since I felt so confident about the exam, I was convinced that inside out underwear was my lucky charm. So I decided to do the same for my Trusts & Estates exam- I'm telling you, it WORKS!
This morning (8:30am on a SATURDAY!) was that Trusts & Estates exam. It was open book and open note. You all know what that is code for right? It means "Ha ha, you're f*cked! This exam is so hard it's going to extract the retinas from your eyeballs!" So, I didn't exactly study a lot, I just prepared a really basic outline of 15 pages (for a law school class, that is a SHORT outline- am I right?). It was short enough that I could easily find each topic.
Can I tell you all what I think the secret to a good law school out line is? Not thoroughness. Nope. You should try to be as brief as possible. You should take each potential issue or cause of action, write the basic rule down and then summarize in TWO SENTENCES each relevant case from your book. But only use the cases that actually help you understand how courts apply the rule or that give helpful context to the elements of a cause. If you write more than two sentences, it's just a waste of your time. Even if you have a closed book exam, this is the best way to condense the information into something somewhat memorizable.
So back to T&E, I only had one day to prepare the outline that I would bring in to the exam with me. This was a mistake. I didn't complete the outline until 11:35pm. And we don't have a printer at home and my school print center would not be available when I got to school early the next morning. So I had to ask my husband to drive 15 minutes to his OFFICE to print my outline- at midnight! After I eventually fell asleep at 12:30, my son woke up screaming at 1:30. I couldn't fall back asleep for an hour and I had to get up at 5:20. I only got 4 hours of sleep! Times like that really make me wish I had it as good as nonparent students.
I have more advice for soon to be law students. If you have the option, DON'T COMMUTE. Be as close to campus as possible! See, when I lived 1 mile from campus, I could wake up an hour before my exam started. Although I go to Seattle University, I actually live on the Kitsap Peninsula- a one hour ferry ride from downtown and a 25 minute walk to campus. And I'm dependent upon the inconvenient ferry schedules. So, to get to my 8:30am exam on time, without freaking out or feeling rushed, I had to wake up at 5:25 and catch the 6:20 boat to Seattle. Another reason not to commute is that you really miss out on on-campus opportunities and social events. I never felt it was worth commuting 3 hours for an hour long school sponsored dinner, speech or happy hour.
Ok, ok, again back to T&E. The exam was littered with issues to spot. But as I read the questions I was able to make an outline on scratch paper of all the ones that jumped out at me. Then I could immediately start to tackle each issue as identified. Later I could always go back and look for more hidden issues. When I completed the exam, I had a whole five minutes to kill! Woo hoo! I defied a reasonable lawstudent standard and instead of going back to review my answers, I sat back and chilled. It felt amazing!
If you are a 1L and think law school exams are the most horrible things on the planet, I have two things to say, (1) you're correct- they are horrible, and (2) but it gets easier! I don't think the exams themselves get easier, but you eventually learn how to prepare for them and how to take them. You eventually figure out what your professors actually want from you. You'll figure out what works best for you and it will be all right in the end. The problem is, you might just have to wait until your last semester to figure all that out. Of course, take my advise with a grain of salt until I actually find out what my grades are.
P.S. Insurance Law exam: here I come- inside out panties and ALL!
I don't know what it is! But someway, somehow, miraculously, law school exams don't seem so hard. I completed my second exam in three days and, surprisingly, I feel very good about both exams. This never happens. I ALWAYS feel like I did terribly the second I walk out of the exam room. The main reason is that I never feel like I have enough time. Definately, I would say that time is an examming lawstudents' worse enemy (and a small bladder, and the girl in front of you who keeps blowing ridiculous amounts of snot out of her nose).
I had a Professional Responsibility exam on Thursday. It began at 8:30am (horrible!). The truth about this class is that I did not do ONE assigned reading the whole semester. Then three days before the exam, I started reading the assignments. They were pretty short, for a law school course. I learned the Model Rules like the back of my hand- by that I mean I used 10pt font to summarize the rules applicable to each "ethical problem." We were allowed to bring in one double sided 8.5 x 11 paper. I saw at least five students with miniscule, telescopic font printed in at least five columns across their page- I think they fit their entire outline on there! I zoomed through the problems and was finished with 30 minutes to go! I even had time to go to the bathroom and review my answers. But the amazing thing is that I felt confident about the whole thing. What the??? This isn't right. Something must be wrong!
Then I figured out the secret that I wish I knew all along. After my seemingly breezy exam experience, I went to the bathroom and realized that I had put on my underwear inside out by accident. (I am a lawstudent, I can analyze death defying, three page hypos in under the time limit, but I can't put my underwear on right!). Since I felt so confident about the exam, I was convinced that inside out underwear was my lucky charm. So I decided to do the same for my Trusts & Estates exam- I'm telling you, it WORKS!
This morning (8:30am on a SATURDAY!) was that Trusts & Estates exam. It was open book and open note. You all know what that is code for right? It means "Ha ha, you're f*cked! This exam is so hard it's going to extract the retinas from your eyeballs!" So, I didn't exactly study a lot, I just prepared a really basic outline of 15 pages (for a law school class, that is a SHORT outline- am I right?). It was short enough that I could easily find each topic.
Can I tell you all what I think the secret to a good law school out line is? Not thoroughness. Nope. You should try to be as brief as possible. You should take each potential issue or cause of action, write the basic rule down and then summarize in TWO SENTENCES each relevant case from your book. But only use the cases that actually help you understand how courts apply the rule or that give helpful context to the elements of a cause. If you write more than two sentences, it's just a waste of your time. Even if you have a closed book exam, this is the best way to condense the information into something somewhat memorizable.
So back to T&E, I only had one day to prepare the outline that I would bring in to the exam with me. This was a mistake. I didn't complete the outline until 11:35pm. And we don't have a printer at home and my school print center would not be available when I got to school early the next morning. So I had to ask my husband to drive 15 minutes to his OFFICE to print my outline- at midnight! After I eventually fell asleep at 12:30, my son woke up screaming at 1:30. I couldn't fall back asleep for an hour and I had to get up at 5:20. I only got 4 hours of sleep! Times like that really make me wish I had it as good as nonparent students.
I have more advice for soon to be law students. If you have the option, DON'T COMMUTE. Be as close to campus as possible! See, when I lived 1 mile from campus, I could wake up an hour before my exam started. Although I go to Seattle University, I actually live on the Kitsap Peninsula- a one hour ferry ride from downtown and a 25 minute walk to campus. And I'm dependent upon the inconvenient ferry schedules. So, to get to my 8:30am exam on time, without freaking out or feeling rushed, I had to wake up at 5:25 and catch the 6:20 boat to Seattle. Another reason not to commute is that you really miss out on on-campus opportunities and social events. I never felt it was worth commuting 3 hours for an hour long school sponsored dinner, speech or happy hour.
Ok, ok, again back to T&E. The exam was littered with issues to spot. But as I read the questions I was able to make an outline on scratch paper of all the ones that jumped out at me. Then I could immediately start to tackle each issue as identified. Later I could always go back and look for more hidden issues. When I completed the exam, I had a whole five minutes to kill! Woo hoo! I defied a reasonable lawstudent standard and instead of going back to review my answers, I sat back and chilled. It felt amazing!
If you are a 1L and think law school exams are the most horrible things on the planet, I have two things to say, (1) you're correct- they are horrible, and (2) but it gets easier! I don't think the exams themselves get easier, but you eventually learn how to prepare for them and how to take them. You eventually figure out what your professors actually want from you. You'll figure out what works best for you and it will be all right in the end. The problem is, you might just have to wait until your last semester to figure all that out. Of course, take my advise with a grain of salt until I actually find out what my grades are.
P.S. Insurance Law exam: here I come- inside out panties and ALL!
Friday, December 11, 2009
You Know You're A Law Student When...
1. You frequently update your Facebook status with messages about the law or lawschool classes in order to remind people that you are in lawschool and that makes you AWESOME.
2. When other students desperately hope for snow days to postpone their final exams, you disguistingly hope that it DOESN'T snow because the only thing worse than taking a 4 hour Sales & Secured Transaction exam is to put off the pain and take it in the middle of spring semester.
3. You fight with other nonlaw students about who has it worse. "I have the worst chem test tomorrow." "Oh yeah? I was up all night reading 45 constitutional law cases on the differences between the "rationality" and "strict scrutiny" standards in preparation for my 3 hour long exam! Take THAT!"
4. In procrastinating for your studies, you are likely to do a combination of the following: (1) read up on the Amanda Knox trails and prepare an analysis of her possible issues on appeal, (2) read law blogs, (3) create a Facebook status in accordance with #1 on this list.
4. You require a copy of a fellow student's transcript and resume before you let them join your study group. (Read Divine Detail's take on it here).
5. You laugh at jokes like these:
"You're so childish, they can't even execute you!"
"Your mother's so fat, she holds a joint tenancy with herself. And she's ALWAYS in diversity jurisdiction."
6. Your backpack is half your weight but you still refuse to buy a rolly backpack because, they are SO nerdy. And from a law student, that's saying alot!
7. You consider 5 hours of sleep a good night's sleep.
8. What you owe in student loan debt, other people owe on their mortgage.
9. You can identify intruding undergrads in the law school building because, aside from the fact that they stick out like a sore thumb, they talk about frat parties, school basketball games, and not how much they hate lawschool. Damn undergrads- stop taking up all our tables!
10. There are more bags under your eyes than in the belly of a 737.
11. If you don't get coffee before class, it's a human rights violation. And not just for you but the other students who have to sit next to you.
***
Edited to Add:
12. Finally, you know you're a law student when your math is so horrible that you cannot count appropriately just to make a simple list, that is why there are two #4s on this list. Yes, I did it on purpose :)
2. When other students desperately hope for snow days to postpone their final exams, you disguistingly hope that it DOESN'T snow because the only thing worse than taking a 4 hour Sales & Secured Transaction exam is to put off the pain and take it in the middle of spring semester.
3. You fight with other nonlaw students about who has it worse. "I have the worst chem test tomorrow." "Oh yeah? I was up all night reading 45 constitutional law cases on the differences between the "rationality" and "strict scrutiny" standards in preparation for my 3 hour long exam! Take THAT!"
4. In procrastinating for your studies, you are likely to do a combination of the following: (1) read up on the Amanda Knox trails and prepare an analysis of her possible issues on appeal, (2) read law blogs, (3) create a Facebook status in accordance with #1 on this list.
4. You require a copy of a fellow student's transcript and resume before you let them join your study group. (Read Divine Detail's take on it here).
5. You laugh at jokes like these:
"You're so childish, they can't even execute you!"
"Your mother's so fat, she holds a joint tenancy with herself. And she's ALWAYS in diversity jurisdiction."
6. Your backpack is half your weight but you still refuse to buy a rolly backpack because, they are SO nerdy. And from a law student, that's saying alot!
7. You consider 5 hours of sleep a good night's sleep.
8. What you owe in student loan debt, other people owe on their mortgage.
9. You can identify intruding undergrads in the law school building because, aside from the fact that they stick out like a sore thumb, they talk about frat parties, school basketball games, and not how much they hate lawschool. Damn undergrads- stop taking up all our tables!
10. There are more bags under your eyes than in the belly of a 737.
11. If you don't get coffee before class, it's a human rights violation. And not just for you but the other students who have to sit next to you.
***
Edited to Add:
12. Finally, you know you're a law student when your math is so horrible that you cannot count appropriately just to make a simple list, that is why there are two #4s on this list. Yes, I did it on purpose :)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Last Day Of Law School- FOREVER!
I've been counting down my law school "lasts" for about the past two weeks. But I can officially say that I have had my LAST day of law school classes. My LAST lecture by a law professor. My LAST note taking session. My LAST chance to check facebook during class discussion. My last Diet Dr. Pepper at the lawschool as a student. Sigh. When did it happen? When did law school just speed by? Remember 1L year and how time seemed to drag on. Funny how the minutes in class seem to take longer than all the minutes spent outside of class combined.
I don't know whether to be happy or sad. To celebrate or reflect. I know I will eventually, one day far from now, miss being a student. But I also know I will NOT miss the inherent evils of law school. All I can say is that my law school experience was NOTHING like I expected it to be. However, I didn't expect much because I decided to go to law school on a last minute whim.
When I started my summer criminal law class in 2006, I didn't know about the Socratic method. I didn't know what a tort was or that there were federal AND state court systems. I didn't even know what attorneys did. Words that I now toss around in casual conversation or make lame jokes about today were completely foreign to me: jurisdiction, adverse possession, due process. I didn't know what a "brief" was. I was shocked to learn that a memo could actually be 15+ pages- I thought there were just those sticky pads you kept on your desk. OMG- remember when we didn't even know how to READ A CASE? I remember my professor handing out a printed case from Westlaw and thinking, "Holy hell, what does this mean and where does it say who the winner is?" (because phrases like "Judgment entered in favor of the Plaintiff" or "Remanded" meant absolutely nothing to me, it might as well have said "rocky road is the icecream choice of south american mammals" or something.
But my last day of law school classes was sadly disappointing. It was very anti-clamactic. I didn't have any friends to share in my excitement as they had already graduated. I didn't really get to know anyone this semester (thanks to commuting and putting family time first) whom I could even talk to about it. After my last class ended today I wanted to get out of my seat and yell-"I'm done forever!" But I just kept to myself- in a room full of strangers, who would even care? It didn't help that it hasn't sunken in yet and I don't FEEL done, at least not with three finals coming up.
I will say that being a parent and a law student at the same time is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Law school alone is enough to make you a sleepless wreck. Add an infant to that and it's like a nightmare where you have a bloody hatchet sticking out of your head and are being chased by giant, fleshless zombies who are getting closer and closer while you are uncontrollably running slower and slower and it's just a matter of any heart pounding second before they eat you alive. My crazy 2.5 hour- one way!- commute didn't help any.
I spent this semester envying the law students who only had to worry about school and nothing else. I'm crazy for willingly becoming a mom and a wife while also being a law student. But this MILP network truly helped me persevere as I realized I was NOT the only crazy one out there and that it WAS possible to do everything at the same time. But really, it is my AMAZING family that has got me through it all. My husband has been so understanding and helpful and he let me be crabby when I needed to be. My mom and mother-in-law took turns watching my son all week so I could attend class and study- they are incredible. My son was also so patient with me and cooperative (most of the time: minus the waking up at 5:30 am). My god, this is starting to sound like an oscar award ceremony.
My final reflection on law school is that despite the tough times, the occassional depression, feelings of inadeqacy, and the assload of debt, it was an overall amazing experience. I have grown so much in the last three years. I am hardly recognizable as the timid person who first stepped onto campus in 2006. I am strong. I am smart. I am capable. I am passionate. I am caring. I am an adovcate. I am soon to be an officer of the court and of justice. I am...in deep shit when it comes to final exams.
How did I manage not to do a SINGLE reading assignment in my Professional Responsibility class all semester? And they are going to let me handle million dollar insurance defense cases?
I don't know whether to be happy or sad. To celebrate or reflect. I know I will eventually, one day far from now, miss being a student. But I also know I will NOT miss the inherent evils of law school. All I can say is that my law school experience was NOTHING like I expected it to be. However, I didn't expect much because I decided to go to law school on a last minute whim.
When I started my summer criminal law class in 2006, I didn't know about the Socratic method. I didn't know what a tort was or that there were federal AND state court systems. I didn't even know what attorneys did. Words that I now toss around in casual conversation or make lame jokes about today were completely foreign to me: jurisdiction, adverse possession, due process. I didn't know what a "brief" was. I was shocked to learn that a memo could actually be 15+ pages- I thought there were just those sticky pads you kept on your desk. OMG- remember when we didn't even know how to READ A CASE? I remember my professor handing out a printed case from Westlaw and thinking, "Holy hell, what does this mean and where does it say who the winner is?" (because phrases like "Judgment entered in favor of the Plaintiff" or "Remanded" meant absolutely nothing to me, it might as well have said "rocky road is the icecream choice of south american mammals" or something.
But my last day of law school classes was sadly disappointing. It was very anti-clamactic. I didn't have any friends to share in my excitement as they had already graduated. I didn't really get to know anyone this semester (thanks to commuting and putting family time first) whom I could even talk to about it. After my last class ended today I wanted to get out of my seat and yell-"I'm done forever!" But I just kept to myself- in a room full of strangers, who would even care? It didn't help that it hasn't sunken in yet and I don't FEEL done, at least not with three finals coming up.
I will say that being a parent and a law student at the same time is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Law school alone is enough to make you a sleepless wreck. Add an infant to that and it's like a nightmare where you have a bloody hatchet sticking out of your head and are being chased by giant, fleshless zombies who are getting closer and closer while you are uncontrollably running slower and slower and it's just a matter of any heart pounding second before they eat you alive. My crazy 2.5 hour- one way!- commute didn't help any.
I spent this semester envying the law students who only had to worry about school and nothing else. I'm crazy for willingly becoming a mom and a wife while also being a law student. But this MILP network truly helped me persevere as I realized I was NOT the only crazy one out there and that it WAS possible to do everything at the same time. But really, it is my AMAZING family that has got me through it all. My husband has been so understanding and helpful and he let me be crabby when I needed to be. My mom and mother-in-law took turns watching my son all week so I could attend class and study- they are incredible. My son was also so patient with me and cooperative (most of the time: minus the waking up at 5:30 am). My god, this is starting to sound like an oscar award ceremony.
My final reflection on law school is that despite the tough times, the occassional depression, feelings of inadeqacy, and the assload of debt, it was an overall amazing experience. I have grown so much in the last three years. I am hardly recognizable as the timid person who first stepped onto campus in 2006. I am strong. I am smart. I am capable. I am passionate. I am caring. I am an adovcate. I am soon to be an officer of the court and of justice. I am...in deep shit when it comes to final exams.
How did I manage not to do a SINGLE reading assignment in my Professional Responsibility class all semester? And they are going to let me handle million dollar insurance defense cases?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Court, Or Bust!
First of all, court went GREAT! During our 2L year we had to give an oral argument on our appellate briefs. That was my first experience with oral arguments and I was a wreck. I was nervous all semester. We had to give the argument in a classroom at the school and the judge was another professor and I thought I would die. And I was so nervous, I pronounced my last name wrong during introductions.
For some reason I wasn't nervous abou this oral argument at all. This time we actually had to go down to the superior court and argue in front of a REAL superior court judge. I waltzed my way through the day- putting my argument outline together last minute. Enjoying an extra long lunchbreak. on the bus ride to the court house, instead of anxiously reciting my argument to myself, I popped in my headphones and got lost in Billy Currington. I was so freakishly calm, which I though might have been to my detriment- aren't we supposed to get nervous for a reason? Aren't we supposed to scare ourselved into being better prepared? Oh well.
The thing is, this summer I got to go to a hearing on a motion for attorneys fees. I wrote the repsonse and the associate invited me to tag along to hear him reciting my arguments. The associate was so "cool" about going to court. He was even working on another case up until the time he had to leave for court. To him, it was no big deal. He went to court many, many times. I think watching him and tagging along made me realize- court isn't scary. The merits of our argument will go up against the merits of the other side and may the best party win.
So back to the other day, sitting in the marble hallway outside the courtroom, my nerves finally started to impersonate mexican jumping beans. I felt the way I used to feel before a big cross country race. Adrenaline shot through my body. But I just forced myself to relax and convined myself that I knew my shit- even if that wasn't true.
I was the moving party so, lucky me, I got to go first. I just went through the arguments like I had practiced. It is important to start out strong and to end strong. You have to tell the judge right away what relief you want. (Don't forget to reserve rebuttal time!) And the last words out of your mouth should be a statement of the relief requested.
The judge only asked me one question. I wanted him to ask me more so I wouldn't have to give a monologue argument about why I should win. But maybe it was better this way. I have no idea what I said in response. I kind of blacked out and my inner lawyer demon possessed me and put words in my mouth. But I must have done ok because I got props from my professor, who was acting as bailiff. I wish I knew what I said. The 9 minutes went by in a blur. This left me only 1 minute for rebuttal when I had originally wanted 2 minutes. You can imagine how fast I talked during my 1 minute rebuttal.
All in all, the professor said that we both did really well. Apparently I need to work on speaking more slowly (hello! how can you do that when you only have 10 minutes to argue a fact specific case?!) and make better eye contact with the judge. But I survived! One final exam down, three to go!
Who would have thought, shy widdle me thinks court is fun! I can't believe how far I've come since my 1L year, or even my 2L year. It's amazing how much you learn and change during lawschool. Let this be hope to all those 1L who think they won't make it and will never seem like a lawyer- if it can happen to me, it CAN happen to you!
For some reason I wasn't nervous abou this oral argument at all. This time we actually had to go down to the superior court and argue in front of a REAL superior court judge. I waltzed my way through the day- putting my argument outline together last minute. Enjoying an extra long lunchbreak. on the bus ride to the court house, instead of anxiously reciting my argument to myself, I popped in my headphones and got lost in Billy Currington. I was so freakishly calm, which I though might have been to my detriment- aren't we supposed to get nervous for a reason? Aren't we supposed to scare ourselved into being better prepared? Oh well.
The thing is, this summer I got to go to a hearing on a motion for attorneys fees. I wrote the repsonse and the associate invited me to tag along to hear him reciting my arguments. The associate was so "cool" about going to court. He was even working on another case up until the time he had to leave for court. To him, it was no big deal. He went to court many, many times. I think watching him and tagging along made me realize- court isn't scary. The merits of our argument will go up against the merits of the other side and may the best party win.
So back to the other day, sitting in the marble hallway outside the courtroom, my nerves finally started to impersonate mexican jumping beans. I felt the way I used to feel before a big cross country race. Adrenaline shot through my body. But I just forced myself to relax and convined myself that I knew my shit- even if that wasn't true.
I was the moving party so, lucky me, I got to go first. I just went through the arguments like I had practiced. It is important to start out strong and to end strong. You have to tell the judge right away what relief you want. (Don't forget to reserve rebuttal time!) And the last words out of your mouth should be a statement of the relief requested.
The judge only asked me one question. I wanted him to ask me more so I wouldn't have to give a monologue argument about why I should win. But maybe it was better this way. I have no idea what I said in response. I kind of blacked out and my inner lawyer demon possessed me and put words in my mouth. But I must have done ok because I got props from my professor, who was acting as bailiff. I wish I knew what I said. The 9 minutes went by in a blur. This left me only 1 minute for rebuttal when I had originally wanted 2 minutes. You can imagine how fast I talked during my 1 minute rebuttal.
All in all, the professor said that we both did really well. Apparently I need to work on speaking more slowly (hello! how can you do that when you only have 10 minutes to argue a fact specific case?!) and make better eye contact with the judge. But I survived! One final exam down, three to go!
Who would have thought, shy widdle me thinks court is fun! I can't believe how far I've come since my 1L year, or even my 2L year. It's amazing how much you learn and change during lawschool. Let this be hope to all those 1L who think they won't make it and will never seem like a lawyer- if it can happen to me, it CAN happen to you!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Blame It On The Rain
I'm off to Superior Court today to argue a fake motion for a pretend case for my Pre-Trial Advocacy class. The scary part is the judge, the court room and the grades are real.
Why can't we wear jeans to court? It would make my life so much easier and HELLO why isn't the entire justice system focused on making my life easier.
I have a feeling going to court in Seattle is a little trickier than going to court in other hoods, ahem, I mean geographical locations. I generally love Seattle. And I generally love rain. BUT going to court in Seattle is just no fun. Even if the prediction is clear skies, you STILL have to prepare for the likely probability that it will rain. Because, get real. It's Seattle. Rainy season is September to July.
Why is rain so horrible? Rain = messed up hair, drenched suit, soaking wet breif case and motion papers.
So, not only do I have to lug around a huge umbrella. I have to bring a raincoat. Extra shoes- suited for walking in the rain. Money for the bus so I DON'T have to walk in the rain. And my hair straightener to remedy the fuzz of a humid-infested environment. Do you even know how un-hot your hair is when it is half dry and half wet?
Oh yeah, I have to prepare the SUBSTANCE of my argument as well. Almost forgot about that.
P.S.- If I have to dress up to go to court, why can't I at least wear a fun accessory like a tie? It's not fair- why don't girls get to wear ties? I'd wear one with flames.
Why can't we wear jeans to court? It would make my life so much easier and HELLO why isn't the entire justice system focused on making my life easier.
I have a feeling going to court in Seattle is a little trickier than going to court in other hoods, ahem, I mean geographical locations. I generally love Seattle. And I generally love rain. BUT going to court in Seattle is just no fun. Even if the prediction is clear skies, you STILL have to prepare for the likely probability that it will rain. Because, get real. It's Seattle. Rainy season is September to July.
Why is rain so horrible? Rain = messed up hair, drenched suit, soaking wet breif case and motion papers.
So, not only do I have to lug around a huge umbrella. I have to bring a raincoat. Extra shoes- suited for walking in the rain. Money for the bus so I DON'T have to walk in the rain. And my hair straightener to remedy the fuzz of a humid-infested environment. Do you even know how un-hot your hair is when it is half dry and half wet?
Oh yeah, I have to prepare the SUBSTANCE of my argument as well. Almost forgot about that.
P.S.- If I have to dress up to go to court, why can't I at least wear a fun accessory like a tie? It's not fair- why don't girls get to wear ties? I'd wear one with flames.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Professor [Sexual Fantasy] Evaluations
Please evaluate your sexual fanatsies about this instructor by answering "Excellent", "Good," "Satisfactory," "Fair," or "Poor" to the following questions:
In your fantasies:
1. Does the instructor speak clearly and understandably [in bed]?
Excellent. [His point ALWAYS comes across...if you know what I mean.]
2. Is the professor well prepared and organized [in bed]?
Excellent. [Always has a game plan and always scores the winning point.]
3. Does the instructor incorporate new and current materialto the subject?
Satisfactory. [Good use of "material," especially the vibrating variety.]
4. Does the instructor appear to have an adequate graspof the subject?
Excellent. [No further comment necessary.]
5. Does the instructor covercourse material [your body] in adequate depth?
Excellent. [Where no man has gone before!]
6. Does he stimulatethought [you]?
Excellent. [I'm stimulated speechless!]
7. Does the instructor makethe subject [it] interesting?
Excellent. [If your definition of interesting involves office hours, strategic placement of casebooks, and spectacles.]
8. Does he make good use of examples and hypotheticals?
Excellent. [You know what they say, "Don't fight thehypo desire."]
What suggestions would you make to this instructor?
MARRY ME!
In your fantasies:
1. Does the instructor speak clearly and understandably [in bed]?
Excellent. [His point ALWAYS comes across...if you know what I mean.]
2. Is the professor well prepared and organized [in bed]?
Excellent. [Always has a game plan and always scores the winning point.]
3. Does the instructor incorporate new and current material
Satisfactory. [Good use of "material," especially the vibrating variety.]
4. Does the instructor appear to have an adequate grasp
Excellent. [No further comment necessary.]
5. Does the instructor cover
Excellent. [Where no man has gone before!]
6. Does he stimulate
Excellent. [I'm stimulated speechless!]
7. Does the instructor make
Excellent. [If your definition of interesting involves office hours, strategic placement of casebooks, and spectacles.]
8. Does he make good use of examples and hypotheticals?
Excellent. [You know what they say, "Don't fight the
What suggestions would you make to this instructor?
MARRY ME!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Cost Of Legal Education
I met with a lawschool financial aid advisor the other day. She gave me the grand total price tag for my legal education. Are you ready for this? You should sit down. Really. My total debt for law school is $119,000.00. And I think I might be on the lower end of the scale because I only paid for one year of rent rather than three (thank you husband for paying the mortgage). AND I don't have any undergraduate debt- thanks to scholarships and the Bank of Dad.
It totally amazes me how much it costs to attend law school. I think education is the greatest equalizer when it comes to socio-economic issues. But how can it be an effective equalizer if only the rich can afford it? Sure, there are a bunch of great public schools. But because of our tax-financed public school system, the good public schools are in the rich neighborhoods. And public colleges aren't even affordable anymore.
Anyway, in addition to owing 120K to financial institutions for my legal education. I now owe Barbri (the bar exam prep people) my soul. Talk about life kicking you when you are down. I just signed away a huge chunk of my paycheck for the next 20 years to pay back my tuition loans and now They want to send me through the ringer one more time. It's like "Are you SURE you don't have some assets or trust fund money stashed away somewhere? Come on now- GIVE IT UP! How about pennies under your bed. I'll settle for your lunch money." The bar exam itself is about $600. Then you have to fork over enough to cover hotel and meal expenses for three days during the bar. But the bar exam prep course is what kills me. The month long course costs $2,700! Plus $500 extra to take advantage of the mobile option (I'm not commuting 5+ hours a day, five days a week to actually SIT IN on the course).
My whole financial outlook is bleak right now. And all of this just to be qualified for a job in which I will be earning less than my engineer brother with an undergrad education? Ridiculous. To make this bleakness a little darker, let's consider all the things I could have bought INSTEAD of my legal education:
It totally amazes me how much it costs to attend law school. I think education is the greatest equalizer when it comes to socio-economic issues. But how can it be an effective equalizer if only the rich can afford it? Sure, there are a bunch of great public schools. But because of our tax-financed public school system, the good public schools are in the rich neighborhoods. And public colleges aren't even affordable anymore.
Anyway, in addition to owing 120K to financial institutions for my legal education. I now owe Barbri (the bar exam prep people) my soul. Talk about life kicking you when you are down. I just signed away a huge chunk of my paycheck for the next 20 years to pay back my tuition loans and now They want to send me through the ringer one more time. It's like "Are you SURE you don't have some assets or trust fund money stashed away somewhere? Come on now- GIVE IT UP! How about pennies under your bed. I'll settle for your lunch money." The bar exam itself is about $600. Then you have to fork over enough to cover hotel and meal expenses for three days during the bar. But the bar exam prep course is what kills me. The month long course costs $2,700! Plus $500 extra to take advantage of the mobile option (I'm not commuting 5+ hours a day, five days a week to actually SIT IN on the course).
My whole financial outlook is bleak right now. And all of this just to be qualified for a job in which I will be earning less than my engineer brother with an undergrad education? Ridiculous. To make this bleakness a little darker, let's consider all the things I could have bought INSTEAD of my legal education:
- Boob jobs for twelve people
- One Diet Dr. Pepper every day for the next 329 years
- A cozy four bedroom home in Gorst, Washington (with 20K to spare!)
- Two Hummer H2 SUVs
- 9,230 trips up the Space Needle
- Half of a fast food restaurant franchise
- 1/10th of a head of Brittany Spear's hair
- The adoption of 3-12 children
- A necklace once owned by Elvis Presley (sold on juliensauctions.com)
- Clothing and accessories for Sara Palin during the campaign
- 30 average sized engagement rings (about $4000 each)
- I could charter a five room luxury yacht for a week
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Practice Deposition Makes Perfect
I think I mentioned before how I have become a major slacker this semester. Seriously though, if law school was Candy Land, I would be Gloppy the Molasses Monster, just sitting on my butt in the back of the classroom covered in thick, sticky molasses. And...that made no sense. I am very sorry.
In my "trial" class we all had to sign up to conduct pretend depositions in the pretend case we've been working on all semester. Well, somehow, I managed to forget the day of my deposition until that very day. I looked up at the syllabus and realized, "crap, I'm deposing a witness in three hours!" So I quickly skimmed the chapter on depositions, prepared my opening- you know all those necessary intro questions such as "have you ever been deposed before" and all the instructions like "please answer the question even if your attorney objects- unless he tells you not to answer the question." One hour before class, I was totally ready. I knew all the things I would try to get out of the witness. I was ready to rock it!
When class started, I came to the front of the room for the exercise. Halfway through my intro, I realized I needed to have the court reporter (a random student who sits at the deposition desk and pretends to type in his lap- pretty funny!) administer the oath. So we do the oath and then I have to start ALL OVER.
Then I told the witness that she can only give VERBAL answers to my questions since non-verbal answers cannot be recorded by the court reporter. I asked if she understood. She replied by nodding her head. I was so awesomely nervous that I didn't even catch this until my professor pointed it out at the end of the dep. Yay for me!
We started to go into the details of what she witnessed the night in question. The witness (another student playing the part) was 78 years old. She was deaf, confused, and she didn't remember anything. This made for a pleasant experience.
"Did you notice anything particular about the man's demeanor?"
"What?"
"Did you notice anything particular about the man's demeanor that night?'
"What does demeanor mean?"
"How he acted."
"Oh"
"I'll rephrase my question for you. Did you notice anything particular about the way the man acted that night?"
"What?"
"Did you notice anything particular about the way the man acted the night of the shooting?"
"Oh, wait. What man are we talking about again?"
"The man that you saw enter the bar."
"Who did I see enter the bar?"
"That is what I am trying to find out. You told me just a minute ago that you saw a man enter the bar on the night of the shooting."
"Oh yes. I did. But I don't remember."
"You don't remember that you saw a man or you don't remember how he acted that night."
"I remember that I remembered seeing a man. But now I can't remember him."
-HUH?!-
"Are you currently taking any medication?"
"No."
"Have you consumed any alcohol in the past 24 hours that might affect your testimony today?"
"Oh honey, I don't drink alcohol. It gives me gas."
How do real attorneys 1) prevent themselves from punching the lights out of really frustrating witnesses, even when they ARE 78 years old and 2) keep a straight face when a witness discusses her flatulence problems?
In my "trial" class we all had to sign up to conduct pretend depositions in the pretend case we've been working on all semester. Well, somehow, I managed to forget the day of my deposition until that very day. I looked up at the syllabus and realized, "crap, I'm deposing a witness in three hours!" So I quickly skimmed the chapter on depositions, prepared my opening- you know all those necessary intro questions such as "have you ever been deposed before" and all the instructions like "please answer the question even if your attorney objects- unless he tells you not to answer the question." One hour before class, I was totally ready. I knew all the things I would try to get out of the witness. I was ready to rock it!
When class started, I came to the front of the room for the exercise. Halfway through my intro, I realized I needed to have the court reporter (a random student who sits at the deposition desk and pretends to type in his lap- pretty funny!) administer the oath. So we do the oath and then I have to start ALL OVER.
Then I told the witness that she can only give VERBAL answers to my questions since non-verbal answers cannot be recorded by the court reporter. I asked if she understood. She replied by nodding her head. I was so awesomely nervous that I didn't even catch this until my professor pointed it out at the end of the dep. Yay for me!
We started to go into the details of what she witnessed the night in question. The witness (another student playing the part) was 78 years old. She was deaf, confused, and she didn't remember anything. This made for a pleasant experience.
"Did you notice anything particular about the man's demeanor?"
"What?"
"Did you notice anything particular about the man's demeanor that night?'
"What does demeanor mean?"
"How he acted."
"Oh"
"I'll rephrase my question for you. Did you notice anything particular about the way the man acted that night?"
"What?"
"Did you notice anything particular about the way the man acted the night of the shooting?"
"Oh, wait. What man are we talking about again?"
"The man that you saw enter the bar."
"Who did I see enter the bar?"
"That is what I am trying to find out. You told me just a minute ago that you saw a man enter the bar on the night of the shooting."
"Oh yes. I did. But I don't remember."
"You don't remember that you saw a man or you don't remember how he acted that night."
"I remember that I remembered seeing a man. But now I can't remember him."
-HUH?!-
"Are you currently taking any medication?"
"No."
"Have you consumed any alcohol in the past 24 hours that might affect your testimony today?"
"Oh honey, I don't drink alcohol. It gives me gas."
How do real attorneys 1) prevent themselves from punching the lights out of really frustrating witnesses, even when they ARE 78 years old and 2) keep a straight face when a witness discusses her flatulence problems?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Eye Love You
I only have 6.5 class days left of law school for the REST OF MY LIFE! I'm a little in disbelief that the hell and horrors of it all will actually come to an end. It's kind of like when you were at the end of the third installment of Lord of the Rings. You invested hours and hours into watching the movie and, oh my god, there's actually an ending to the intricate plot line full of battles I don't care about, long haired men and creepy elvish talk?
After my final law school exam in the middle of December, the only thing standing in between me and actually being a card carrying lawyer (we actually get cards?! Sweet) is a pleasant 3 day bar exam covering 20+ areas of law...how lovely.
So, aside from being in constant disbelief that I may actually never be a student again, for the REST OF MY LIFE, I am also in a state of awkwardness. Allow me to explain. There is this law student in one of my classes who sits directly across from me. Some of our classes are arranged so that the students sit in a "u" shape around the professor's podium. In one of my classes, this guy sits on one end of the "u" and I sit on the other. When I look straight ahead, I unavoidably stare directly into his face. The problem is that I do this often. I don't mean to- his face is just right THERE. I have to try to NOT look directly at him throughout the class. The result is that we happen to make awkard eye contact ALL CLASS LONG. I look in his direction and he automatically meets my gaze. Then I shift mine away at the ungracefully not so speed of light. AWKWARD! It's like I'm face stalking him. Or our gazes are clashing in the air between us and having a wild make out session.
It's getting so weird that I'm starting to wonder if he thinks I have a major crush on him.
Well, this week I discovered that he is also in another one of my classes. How did I discover this? By accidentally face stalking him of course! In this class, I turn around in the middle of class to get something out of my bag. When I turn around, the guy directly behind me is absent and, low and behold, whose gaze do I lovingly meet? Yup. HIM. Then I realized that I didn't have a pen in my bag like I thought I did. So, I actually had no reason for turning around and catching his eye. To the trained or paranoid eye, it could appear that I turned around just to have another intense eye gazing session. Now I'm trying extra hard to NOT look at him and I bet it seems even MORE obvious.
Final thought. To all those people who like to ask questions 30 seconds before class ends: SHUT THE HELL UP! Turn off your inquisitive mind and start packing your bags like the rest of us for Pete's sake!
After my final law school exam in the middle of December, the only thing standing in between me and actually being a card carrying lawyer (we actually get cards?! Sweet) is a pleasant 3 day bar exam covering 20+ areas of law...how lovely.
So, aside from being in constant disbelief that I may actually never be a student again, for the REST OF MY LIFE, I am also in a state of awkwardness. Allow me to explain. There is this law student in one of my classes who sits directly across from me. Some of our classes are arranged so that the students sit in a "u" shape around the professor's podium. In one of my classes, this guy sits on one end of the "u" and I sit on the other. When I look straight ahead, I unavoidably stare directly into his face. The problem is that I do this often. I don't mean to- his face is just right THERE. I have to try to NOT look directly at him throughout the class. The result is that we happen to make awkard eye contact ALL CLASS LONG. I look in his direction and he automatically meets my gaze. Then I shift mine away at the ungracefully not so speed of light. AWKWARD! It's like I'm face stalking him. Or our gazes are clashing in the air between us and having a wild make out session.
It's getting so weird that I'm starting to wonder if he thinks I have a major crush on him.
Well, this week I discovered that he is also in another one of my classes. How did I discover this? By accidentally face stalking him of course! In this class, I turn around in the middle of class to get something out of my bag. When I turn around, the guy directly behind me is absent and, low and behold, whose gaze do I lovingly meet? Yup. HIM. Then I realized that I didn't have a pen in my bag like I thought I did. So, I actually had no reason for turning around and catching his eye. To the trained or paranoid eye, it could appear that I turned around just to have another intense eye gazing session. Now I'm trying extra hard to NOT look at him and I bet it seems even MORE obvious.
Final thought. To all those people who like to ask questions 30 seconds before class ends: SHUT THE HELL UP! Turn off your inquisitive mind and start packing your bags like the rest of us for Pete's sake!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
How NOT To Do Lawschool
Lesson of the day: check your syllabus. And don't be a failure.
So, all weekend I was amazed at how little homework I had. This should have been my first indication that I was completely missing something.
I was sitting in my third class on Monday afternoon when I suddenly had this really really bad feeling. Like the feeling you get when you suddenly realize you locked your keys in the car or that you forgot to pay your credit card bill on time, or when you dump bleach into a load of colored laundry.
So I checked the assignment listed in the syllabus for my next class. Right there in big bold letters it said "Motion for Summary Judgment Due at 5pm on October 26th." Wait. When is the 26th? SHIT? IT'S TODAY?!?!? AS IN, DUE IN TWO HOURS? MAJOR FAIL.
My heart started to pound in my chest. My palms got sweaty. I was facing a nervous breakdown. I had no idea what I was going to do. Although I am past caring about doing well in class, I still feel totally horrible looking like a slacker in front of my professors. Even though I am only hurting myself in failing to complete assignments, I somehow always feel like I am letting my professors down. Lame isn't it?
I didn't happen to hear what my Trusts & Estates professor said for the rest of the class period. I was too busy having a nervous breakdown about my Motion for Summary Judgment- or lack thereof. By the end of class period, I figured out what I would say to explain the situation to my professor and rehearsed it in my head several times. When I walked into my next class, I approached the professor and explained it to him. I was prepared for the worst.
He simply laughed and said "Can you have it to me by our next class?"
I was shocked first, then reliefed. Then reality set in.
That, people, is how I ended up writing a Motion for Summary Judgment, from start to finish, in just TWO DAYS. Do real attorneys even ever have to do that? For two days my head was a walking storage tank of case law and material facts. I couldn't turn it off. I even woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my arguments. In order to complete the assignment in time, I had to skip all my classes, ban myself from the internet and give my child sharp pointy objects to keep him distracted.
Don't be like me. Read the syllabus.
So, all weekend I was amazed at how little homework I had. This should have been my first indication that I was completely missing something.
I was sitting in my third class on Monday afternoon when I suddenly had this really really bad feeling. Like the feeling you get when you suddenly realize you locked your keys in the car or that you forgot to pay your credit card bill on time, or when you dump bleach into a load of colored laundry.
So I checked the assignment listed in the syllabus for my next class. Right there in big bold letters it said "Motion for Summary Judgment Due at 5pm on October 26th." Wait. When is the 26th? SHIT? IT'S TODAY?!?!? AS IN, DUE IN TWO HOURS? MAJOR FAIL.
My heart started to pound in my chest. My palms got sweaty. I was facing a nervous breakdown. I had no idea what I was going to do. Although I am past caring about doing well in class, I still feel totally horrible looking like a slacker in front of my professors. Even though I am only hurting myself in failing to complete assignments, I somehow always feel like I am letting my professors down. Lame isn't it?
I didn't happen to hear what my Trusts & Estates professor said for the rest of the class period. I was too busy having a nervous breakdown about my Motion for Summary Judgment- or lack thereof. By the end of class period, I figured out what I would say to explain the situation to my professor and rehearsed it in my head several times. When I walked into my next class, I approached the professor and explained it to him. I was prepared for the worst.
He simply laughed and said "Can you have it to me by our next class?"
I was shocked first, then reliefed. Then reality set in.
That, people, is how I ended up writing a Motion for Summary Judgment, from start to finish, in just TWO DAYS. Do real attorneys even ever have to do that? For two days my head was a walking storage tank of case law and material facts. I couldn't turn it off. I even woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my arguments. In order to complete the assignment in time, I had to skip all my classes, ban myself from the internet and give my child sharp pointy objects to keep him distracted.
Don't be like me. Read the syllabus.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Warning: Rabid Law Student
I think there are some days when we ALL could use this shirt. You know, a nice friendly public warning not to mess with you. Or to do so at your own risk.
Monday, October 5, 2009
And Slacker Of The Week Goes To...
When it comes to being prepared for class, I am far from the ideal law student. But that is because I have learned many integral law school secrets- like how to skim cases, predict when you will be on-call, how to use study aids, and how to steal outlines from the internet. Only rarely do I just "show up" without even glancing at the reading assignment and pray that I don't get called on. The way luck works in law school, this is the equivalent of raising your hand and begging to be in the "hot seat."
My point is, I don't judge slackers for being slackers because those are my people. But I DO judge slackers for their failure in delivery. Oh boy and today I was in some kind of mood or something. Herein follows my harsh judgment of those slackers who failed to meet my low standards:
Today in my insurance law class- at least 5 people in a row had to "pass" when the professor called on them. This is ridiculous. My insurance law class meets once a week. And for homework, the prof usually assigns 5-6 cases that are about 10 pages each. For those of you who are expert case skimmers- you can read almost any case for a below-proficient level of knowledge in just 5 minutes:
1. Skim the facts (1 minute).
2. Find out what the issue is (hint: the court usually says "the point at issue here is..." or less subtely the court will preface the issue with the word "whether...") (45 seconds).
3. Skim the relevant court's analysis - if this case is for insurance law, you can go straight to the discussion about duty to defend and it's a safe bet you can skip any discussion about things like evidentiary rules or constitutional law. (2.5 minutes).
4. Find the paragraph with the court's holding - you don't even have to read this because if you get called on you can easily go straight to it and recite it in class. (30 seconds)
VOILA! You read an entire case in under 5 minutes. Congrats on being less than proficient!
HINT: If you get called on you can chalk up your lack of knowlegde to "faulty memory" since, duh, you read this case six days ago when it was first assigned- right!? Of course!
But, if you can't even brief via the Slacker Briefing Method as outlined above, you have to be able to "pass" with equal parts style, wit and humility.
One student in class failed miserably according to my book. This one girl in the front row, after she was called on, actually had the balls to say, "I have to pass on this case, but if you could come back to me when you get to So and So case, I would totally appreciate it." HULLO! You can't CHOOSE which case you get called on for- that's so cheating! First off, that defeats the big slacker gamble. If you could chose when you get called on, where is the risk? Where is the pay off of being a slacker? Way to ruin it for all of us!
Also, slackers should OWN their slackerness. Don't live in the delusion that you are a could-be Law Review student. A slacker by any other delusion is still a slacker!
Finally, that "pass" was SO cheesy! Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. On the instances in which you have to pass, you end up feeling bad, and horrible and stupid. This is how you are supposed to feel. This is what law school is about- feeling dumb and inferior in a controlled environment where the professor is the inflictor of shame and there are not enough sharp objects to cause serious bodily harm. You can't try to overrule these feelings by volunteering for a different case. You can't try to justify your failure by showing the professor you actually aren't the useless piece of crap that you feel. This is just wrong. (Am I bitter or what?). And "I would totally appreciate it"? That phrase, when spoken to a professor, triggers my gag reflex.
However, one student in class today shows us how it is done. This student was able to "pass" with both dignity and style without trying to be a major brown noser. He is the major Model Passer. People, THIS is how you should "pass." Turn it into something funny- most preferably, you should be the butt of the joke, but if not, it is acceptable to make an objective funny.
Prof: "Mr. Smith, can you please tell us what the court ruled in this case."
Mr. Smith: "Um....hmmm....well... Can I poll the audience?"
Prof: [laughs out loud] "So you're electing to use a life line?"
Yes. Mr. Smith gets a 10 out of 10 in my play book for his style in evading giving an answer without resorting to saying "pass" or cheesy brown nose tactics. I award him Slacker of the Week.
May we all aspire to be the Slacker that Mr. Smith is.
My point is, I don't judge slackers for being slackers because those are my people. But I DO judge slackers for their failure in delivery. Oh boy and today I was in some kind of mood or something. Herein follows my harsh judgment of those slackers who failed to meet my low standards:
Today in my insurance law class- at least 5 people in a row had to "pass" when the professor called on them. This is ridiculous. My insurance law class meets once a week. And for homework, the prof usually assigns 5-6 cases that are about 10 pages each. For those of you who are expert case skimmers- you can read almost any case for a below-proficient level of knowledge in just 5 minutes:
1. Skim the facts (1 minute).
2. Find out what the issue is (hint: the court usually says "the point at issue here is..." or less subtely the court will preface the issue with the word "whether...") (45 seconds).
3. Skim the relevant court's analysis - if this case is for insurance law, you can go straight to the discussion about duty to defend and it's a safe bet you can skip any discussion about things like evidentiary rules or constitutional law. (2.5 minutes).
4. Find the paragraph with the court's holding - you don't even have to read this because if you get called on you can easily go straight to it and recite it in class. (30 seconds)
VOILA! You read an entire case in under 5 minutes. Congrats on being less than proficient!
HINT: If you get called on you can chalk up your lack of knowlegde to "faulty memory" since, duh, you read this case six days ago when it was first assigned- right!? Of course!
But, if you can't even brief via the Slacker Briefing Method as outlined above, you have to be able to "pass" with equal parts style, wit and humility.
One student in class failed miserably according to my book. This one girl in the front row, after she was called on, actually had the balls to say, "I have to pass on this case, but if you could come back to me when you get to So and So case, I would totally appreciate it." HULLO! You can't CHOOSE which case you get called on for- that's so cheating! First off, that defeats the big slacker gamble. If you could chose when you get called on, where is the risk? Where is the pay off of being a slacker? Way to ruin it for all of us!
Also, slackers should OWN their slackerness. Don't live in the delusion that you are a could-be Law Review student. A slacker by any other delusion is still a slacker!
Finally, that "pass" was SO cheesy! Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. On the instances in which you have to pass, you end up feeling bad, and horrible and stupid. This is how you are supposed to feel. This is what law school is about- feeling dumb and inferior in a controlled environment where the professor is the inflictor of shame and there are not enough sharp objects to cause serious bodily harm. You can't try to overrule these feelings by volunteering for a different case. You can't try to justify your failure by showing the professor you actually aren't the useless piece of crap that you feel. This is just wrong. (Am I bitter or what?). And "I would totally appreciate it"? That phrase, when spoken to a professor, triggers my gag reflex.
However, one student in class today shows us how it is done. This student was able to "pass" with both dignity and style without trying to be a major brown noser. He is the major Model Passer. People, THIS is how you should "pass." Turn it into something funny- most preferably, you should be the butt of the joke, but if not, it is acceptable to make an objective funny.
Prof: "Mr. Smith, can you please tell us what the court ruled in this case."
Mr. Smith: "Um....hmmm....well... Can I poll the audience?"
Prof: [laughs out loud] "So you're electing to use a life line?"
Yes. Mr. Smith gets a 10 out of 10 in my play book for his style in evading giving an answer without resorting to saying "pass" or cheesy brown nose tactics. I award him Slacker of the Week.
May we all aspire to be the Slacker that Mr. Smith is.
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