Last weekend, my husband invited me to a community fund-raising auction for our local Rotary Club. His community organization is trying to raise funds to build a facility nearby and the proceeds of the auction were to partly benefit his organization. He likes to drag me along occasionally to these things for the mountains of entertainment I provide. Unlike him, I do not have an incentive to act appropriately and be socially conscious at these things because, well, it's not MY job at stake and I don't know these people.
His organization had an entire table at this function. People at the table included board members, constituents and one of his supervisors. We were BY FAR the youngest people there (I was so excited to have an excuse to buy a semi-formal cocktail dress and actually WEAR it!). I'd say we looked really classy- a big change from our usual sweat pants. Although, my husband has a problem wearing ties. He goes to http://www.howtotieatie.com/ and follows their picture tutorial but his tie knots still ended up being as big as a grown man's fist!
Anyway, so I had a grand ol' time chatting it up with the couple on either side of us. They were seasoned auction attendees and gave me all kinds of nice hints about how to win auction items. After two glasses of wine, I made a very loud anouncement to our table that I wanted to win item number 07- "Firefighter for a Day." I told the table I didn't have any real fires that needed to be put out but I wouldn't mind having a hunky fireman to look at. They laughed and my husband laughed along (very) nervously. Turns out, there wasn't a fireman for auction- the item actually involved BEING a firefighter for a day not HAVING a firefighter for a day- oopsy.
I shared my passions for firefighters, dry wine and horse back riding with the man and his wife seated next to me. I cracked jokes about my husband's funny looking ties and laughed at the auctioneer's crazy ability to talk fast.
Eventually a handcrafted wooden rocking horse came up for bid. I told my husband we had to get it for our son. He made me set a limit as to how high I would bid- seeing as how we aren't really rolling in the dough right now. It turns out someone else wanted that rocking horse too. We ended up in a bidding war with that person. To my husband's horror, I went way above my limit and eventually bid $500 for it. As the price escalated, my husband snatched the bid card from my drunken hands and sat on it.
That didn't stop me, as the auctioneer was calling "going once, going twice..." I reach frantically between my husband's legs and tries to pry the bidcard from under his crotch. The crowd was going wild. The auctioneer announced "someone distract him!" and people started clapping as I evetualy wrestled the card from my husband and lifted it high into the air in time to make an offer of $600. The other biddder (probably a distinguished Rotary Club member- yikes) offered $650 and my husband once again snatched the card away from me. I had a mini tantrum but I realized he was right and there was no way we could afford a $700 rocking horse.
No matter how tipsy I was at the time, I still cannot shake the image of the display we made in from of the local Rotary Club and friends. Me in my conservative cocktail dress trying to pry a bid card from between my husband's firmly closed legs. Then engaging in a tug of war fit for a toddler between his grasp and mine. Oh well, it couldn't have been too bad because by the end of the night I somehow managed an invitation to go to Vegas with some lady for her daughter's 21st birthday (wait, who was that and what just happened???).
Overall, I had a great time and my husband assured me he didn't think we did too much damage. Although, it turns out that the people sitting at our table weren't JUST board members, the guy I was talking to all night is the CEO of a local bank (and my dad, who works for our city is currently negotiating a real estate contract with him). Oh well, at least he will always remember me, even if he only remembers me as the drunken lush with a thing for firefighters.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Cure For The Bar Exam Blues
When it comes to studying for the bar exam, or facing any tedious task, it is best to just put one foot in front of the other. This, of course, is easier to do in a pair of cute new heels! So, when people ask me how I'm surviving through this dredgery, I just have to point to my feet.
That's right peeps, the cure for the bar exam blues: new SHOES!
That's right peeps, the cure for the bar exam blues: new SHOES!
This sexy pair of 2.5 inch heels was even ON SALE- (Cee- 5 points, Karma- 0).
And I can enjoy these so much more knowing that we are getting a major tax refund. I was an independent contracter at my firm over the summer and they withheld nothing from my paycheck. So I set aside 20% of each paycheck I earned (hardest thing EVER- like someone handing you a box of candy and telling you not to eat it!) in my own savings account. But looks like I get to keep it all (yay for dependents and tax deductions!). I feel like it's raining dolla billz!
The rest of that money will probably go towards paying off my credit cardz. Wait, who am I kidding? There are so many cute shoes left to explore... and 2 weeks until the bar exam :(
Friday, February 5, 2010
Proud Owner Of One Case List!
I talked to the officer manager at my firm to tie up some loose ends regarding my W-2 statement from last tax year. I told her how excited I was to being work in March. Part of me wanted to call just to make sure my offer really exists and that it's hasn't been some crazy fantasy 6 months in the making by my imagination. I expected to hear any one (or all) of the following:
"Sorry, we changed our minds, we don't have a job for you."
"The work you did on that big case last summer caused us to lose billions of $ for our client. We take back our offer because you suck at law."
"We just hired someone for your position."
"Associate position? What associate position? Are you off your meds?"
"We're gonna have to file a restraining order against you if you don't leave us alone."
But to my shock and surprise, she said this:
"We are looking forward to having you. The partners are already putting together a case list for you."
WHAT?
I have a case list?
I HAVE A CASE LIST!
OMG.
As I sit on my couch stuffing my face with Peanut M&Ms lamenting my bar exam woes and trying not to fall asleep during Barbri lecture (commercial paper- must stay awake!), my career is being determined! It feels like predestination. The cases which will begin my legal career are being pre-determined as we speak.
Oh man. I hope they are good cases. I hope they are challenging and complex and involve sexy legal theories like the Economic Loss Doctrine and Respendeat Superior.
I wonder if the clients are being told that I will be the associate on the case? Imagine that! Managing partner could be telling my very first client right now "Cee will be the associate on your case starting in March...?" I wonder what that client would think if they knew I was barely a graduate, sitting on my couch hour after hour, in my sweats, shoving M&Ms down my throat, crying, moaning and pulling my hair out over the bar exam? Not a pretty sight.
I know I can't officially practice law until I am sworn in. But it's so close. I can almost taste it. I cannot wait until March, my life will be so good in March- fancy suits, cute pumps, lawyer briefcase, planned depositions, drafting pleadings, meeting with REAL clients- MY clients. I just have to survive until then.
I almost (ALMOST) feel encouraged to study commercial paper now.
"Sorry, we changed our minds, we don't have a job for you."
"The work you did on that big case last summer caused us to lose billions of $ for our client. We take back our offer because you suck at law."
"We just hired someone for your position."
"Associate position? What associate position? Are you off your meds?"
"We're gonna have to file a restraining order against you if you don't leave us alone."
But to my shock and surprise, she said this:
"We are looking forward to having you. The partners are already putting together a case list for you."
WHAT?
I have a case list?
I HAVE A CASE LIST!
OMG.
As I sit on my couch stuffing my face with Peanut M&Ms lamenting my bar exam woes and trying not to fall asleep during Barbri lecture (commercial paper- must stay awake!), my career is being determined! It feels like predestination. The cases which will begin my legal career are being pre-determined as we speak.
Oh man. I hope they are good cases. I hope they are challenging and complex and involve sexy legal theories like the Economic Loss Doctrine and Respendeat Superior.
I wonder if the clients are being told that I will be the associate on the case? Imagine that! Managing partner could be telling my very first client right now "Cee will be the associate on your case starting in March...?" I wonder what that client would think if they knew I was barely a graduate, sitting on my couch hour after hour, in my sweats, shoving M&Ms down my throat, crying, moaning and pulling my hair out over the bar exam? Not a pretty sight.
I know I can't officially practice law until I am sworn in. But it's so close. I can almost taste it. I cannot wait until March, my life will be so good in March- fancy suits, cute pumps, lawyer briefcase, planned depositions, drafting pleadings, meeting with REAL clients- MY clients. I just have to survive until then.
I almost (ALMOST) feel encouraged to study commercial paper now.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
How My Legal Brain Works
I find that there are certain areas of law that my brain just "gets."
I'm really good at Contracts, Sales makes total sense to me, I have Wills down pat, Landlord Tenant law is right up my alley, and so is Insurance Law.
The things I have trouble with are things like Evidence, Criminal Procedure (shudder!), Criminal law, Corporations, Indian Law and Property topics like easements and covenants and all those crazy Simple Fee Defeasible estates (who was on crack when they invented those?!).
I am a really visual learner and there is a limit to how far my brain can wrap itself around intangible concepts. Sure, basically ALL of law is intangible. But law that plays itself out in an area of life were you can see it working or where I have personal knowledge- that I can handle. Whenever there is an underlying contract (whether oral or written) or some other document that governs rights and liabilities between parties, I'm right there. I'm ALL about that. I can understand concepts like "implied warranties of merchantability" or "implied warranties of habitatbility" or "insurable interest" or, my PERSONAL FAVORITES: the Mirror Image Rule, Perfect Tender and the Article 2 "Knock Out" Rule. Do you remember my crazy love affair with the economic loss doctrine? It's just so sexy!
Where I somehow have a basic understanding of how the law play out in real life- I understand the underlying actions of the parties- the law becomes tangible to me. I understand how people place orders with manufacturers. I understand why and how people write wills, I understand the underlying action of people renting apartments.
But criminal procedure? I have no idea what police men really do. I don't get search and seizure at all. I know the rule about inventory searches but WHAT THE HECK is it really? If I saw one I wouldn't even know. And evidence- hearsay? That's is just too intangible for me no matter what. Similarly the concepts of negotiatbility in Commercial Paper drive my mind into a crazy, abstract haze. I don't quite understand what Indian land is or how you can differentiate it. Why can't all reservation land be Indian land? The visual learner in me wants to actually go to an Indian reservation and figure out what a tribal court is, what public domain land really looks like.
So I guess the takeaway from this is my extensive shopping experience and skills have helped me better understand all commercial areas of law- contracts, sales, etc. In order to understand Criminal Procedure, I need to be arrested. In order to understand Indian law, I need to sneak into an Indian reservation and be hailed into their court. Commercial paper? forget it- who uses checks anymore anyhow? Evidence law? I need to watch more Law and Order.
Does anyone else have this problem? And how can I accomplish all these before the bar exam?
I'm really good at Contracts, Sales makes total sense to me, I have Wills down pat, Landlord Tenant law is right up my alley, and so is Insurance Law.
The things I have trouble with are things like Evidence, Criminal Procedure (shudder!), Criminal law, Corporations, Indian Law and Property topics like easements and covenants and all those crazy Simple Fee Defeasible estates (who was on crack when they invented those?!).
I am a really visual learner and there is a limit to how far my brain can wrap itself around intangible concepts. Sure, basically ALL of law is intangible. But law that plays itself out in an area of life were you can see it working or where I have personal knowledge- that I can handle. Whenever there is an underlying contract (whether oral or written) or some other document that governs rights and liabilities between parties, I'm right there. I'm ALL about that. I can understand concepts like "implied warranties of merchantability" or "implied warranties of habitatbility" or "insurable interest" or, my PERSONAL FAVORITES: the Mirror Image Rule, Perfect Tender and the Article 2 "Knock Out" Rule. Do you remember my crazy love affair with the economic loss doctrine? It's just so sexy!
Where I somehow have a basic understanding of how the law play out in real life- I understand the underlying actions of the parties- the law becomes tangible to me. I understand how people place orders with manufacturers. I understand why and how people write wills, I understand the underlying action of people renting apartments.
But criminal procedure? I have no idea what police men really do. I don't get search and seizure at all. I know the rule about inventory searches but WHAT THE HECK is it really? If I saw one I wouldn't even know. And evidence- hearsay? That's is just too intangible for me no matter what. Similarly the concepts of negotiatbility in Commercial Paper drive my mind into a crazy, abstract haze. I don't quite understand what Indian land is or how you can differentiate it. Why can't all reservation land be Indian land? The visual learner in me wants to actually go to an Indian reservation and figure out what a tribal court is, what public domain land really looks like.
So I guess the takeaway from this is my extensive shopping experience and skills have helped me better understand all commercial areas of law- contracts, sales, etc. In order to understand Criminal Procedure, I need to be arrested. In order to understand Indian law, I need to sneak into an Indian reservation and be hailed into their court. Commercial paper? forget it- who uses checks anymore anyhow? Evidence law? I need to watch more Law and Order.
Does anyone else have this problem? And how can I accomplish all these before the bar exam?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Could I Be The Next American Idol?
The other day I tried out for American Idol.
I don't know if my audition will make it on the show but at the very least I got a picture with my favorite judge (see below). I don't think I impressed them that much- I'm no bikini girl. And I mean it's pretty hard to impress Simon. But Randy gave me some good feedback...
So, you want to know what Randy said?
He said:
I don't know if my audition will make it on the show but at the very least I got a picture with my favorite judge (see below). I don't think I impressed them that much- I'm no bikini girl. And I mean it's pretty hard to impress Simon. But Randy gave me some good feedback...
So, you want to know what Randy said?
He said:
Bar Exam Spillover Into The Bedroom
Husband: "I'm going to bed now."
Me: "Is that a hint? Do you want something?"
Husband: "Maybe."
Me: "Ok, but I'm warning you now, I'm a little tired."
Once again, we're off to a great start...
[lying side by side]
Me: "Well... Are you gonna make your move?"
Husband: "It's your turn to make the first move. I made the first move last night."
Me: "Excuse me, I just put on a thong. That's a first move."
Husband: "Well....I turned off the light."
Me: "That doesn't count. It's not a substantial step in furtherance of..." (I've been reading too much criminal law and the attempted crime rules popped into my head).
Husband: "Well, I... I got into bed. AND I took off my socks."
Me: "That's not sexy."
Husband: "Well, I read in Cosmo that thongs aren't sexy anymore. People ruined them by wearing low rise pants and flashing their thongs when they bend down."
Me: "Are you saying I'm not sexy?!" (Totally overlooking the fact that he reads Cosmo.)
Husband: "According to Cosmo." (Punch him in the arm)
Me: "Ok whatever. But you still have make the next move."
Husband: "Nope."
Me: "Is that a repudiation? Are you wrongfully rejecting my goods? You initiated an offer. I accepted by performance AND I made a timely delivery. You gotta pay up!"
Note to self- Lawyer speak in bed...so not a turn on.
Me: "Is that a hint? Do you want something?"
Husband: "Maybe."
Me: "Ok, but I'm warning you now, I'm a little tired."
Once again, we're off to a great start...
[lying side by side]
Me: "Well... Are you gonna make your move?"
Husband: "It's your turn to make the first move. I made the first move last night."
Me: "Excuse me, I just put on a thong. That's a first move."
Husband: "Well....I turned off the light."
Me: "That doesn't count. It's not a substantial step in furtherance of..." (I've been reading too much criminal law and the attempted crime rules popped into my head).
Husband: "Well, I... I got into bed. AND I took off my socks."
Me: "That's not sexy."
Husband: "Well, I read in Cosmo that thongs aren't sexy anymore. People ruined them by wearing low rise pants and flashing their thongs when they bend down."
Me: "Are you saying I'm not sexy?!" (Totally overlooking the fact that he reads Cosmo.)
Husband: "According to Cosmo." (Punch him in the arm)
Me: "Ok whatever. But you still have make the next move."
Husband: "Nope."
Me: "Is that a repudiation? Are you wrongfully rejecting my goods? You initiated an offer. I accepted by performance AND I made a timely delivery. You gotta pay up!"
Note to self- Lawyer speak in bed...so not a turn on.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Take Caution Before Revealing Your Innermost Secrets
You all know me as the smart, sophisticated (*cough*) former lawstudent and child herder that I am today. (Doesn't "child herder" make more sense than "mother"- I swear I spend half of my mothering time diverting my toddler from things like: the coffee maker, kitchen knives, the bottle of KY-Jelly (TMI?) by my bed, tile-grout cleaning toothbrushes (which he loves to use to brush his teeth), and overly priced electronics). But there was a time, long, long ago when I was the shiny beacon of nerdiness. What's that? Ok, fine, I'm still a nerd it's just that I can hide it better in public. But sometimes evidence of my past nerdiness leaks out into the community, scarring my reputation for life.
My husband works for a well known community organization. He is very involved in the community trying to raise money for a campaign. He often takes rich and important people and elected officials on tours of their local facility to solicite donations. Since he drives a suped up, two door, turbo-ized (is that a word?) Ford Probe. He has to use MY car to take people on tours. For some odd reason, important rich people don't like to cram into the back of compact cars, dangling their legs out the passenger window with the sound of a million revved up motorcycle engines buzzing in their ear. Crazy rich peeps.
Often times these rich important people are lawyers (oh, someday!, that could be me!). They see my Seattle University Law and the Loyola University Chicago window stickers and like to make small talk.
Rich Lawyer: "So did you go to school in Chicago?"
Husband: "No. Actually that was my wife."
Rich Lawyer: "Did she grow up there?"
Husband: "No, she really just wanted to go to school in Chicago."
Rich Lawyer: "It's a great city."
Husband: "Yeah. When she was in highschool, her hero was Indiana Jones."
Rich Lawyer: "ok..."
Husband: "The character of Indiana Jones apparently went to school in Chicago. My wife had never been to Chicago before but she really wanted to go to school there because Indiana Jones did." (OMG- HUSBAND- SERIOUSLY?! DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE!)
Rich Lawyer: "So is the SU Law sticker yours?"
Husband: "No, that's my wife's too. She's studying for the bar exam."
Rich Lawyer: "You mean your wife wanted to be a lawyer instead of an archaeologist like Indiana Jones?"
Husband: "Yeah, I guess. I know, she's weird."
If this keeps up, no reputable law firm in my county will want to hire me. THANKS HUSBAND. At least he didn't tell Rich Important Lawyer that I had the name "Indy" put on my higschool track sweatshirt.
My husband works for a well known community organization. He is very involved in the community trying to raise money for a campaign. He often takes rich and important people and elected officials on tours of their local facility to solicite donations. Since he drives a suped up, two door, turbo-ized (is that a word?) Ford Probe. He has to use MY car to take people on tours. For some odd reason, important rich people don't like to cram into the back of compact cars, dangling their legs out the passenger window with the sound of a million revved up motorcycle engines buzzing in their ear. Crazy rich peeps.
Often times these rich important people are lawyers (oh, someday!, that could be me!). They see my Seattle University Law and the Loyola University Chicago window stickers and like to make small talk.
Rich Lawyer: "So did you go to school in Chicago?"
Husband: "No. Actually that was my wife."
Rich Lawyer: "Did she grow up there?"
Husband: "No, she really just wanted to go to school in Chicago."
Rich Lawyer: "It's a great city."
Husband: "Yeah. When she was in highschool, her hero was Indiana Jones."
Rich Lawyer: "ok..."
Husband: "The character of Indiana Jones apparently went to school in Chicago. My wife had never been to Chicago before but she really wanted to go to school there because Indiana Jones did." (OMG- HUSBAND- SERIOUSLY?! DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE!)
Rich Lawyer: "So is the SU Law sticker yours?"
Husband: "No, that's my wife's too. She's studying for the bar exam."
Rich Lawyer: "You mean your wife wanted to be a lawyer instead of an archaeologist like Indiana Jones?"
Husband: "Yeah, I guess. I know, she's weird."
If this keeps up, no reputable law firm in my county will want to hire me. THANKS HUSBAND. At least he didn't tell Rich Important Lawyer that I had the name "Indy" put on my higschool track sweatshirt.
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