It's never to tell you that you are awesome.
During my commute this morning, my cell phone started to ring. I looked down at the phone in my lap and saw the name of one of the firm's partners dubiously flash across the screen. My first thought was, "Oh Shit!"
Oh Shit! was I supposed to be at a meeting that I forgot about?
Oh Shit! did he just read my draft motion and think it was the equivalent of what would come out of Satan's ass if Satan ate a bucket of magnet alphabet letters?
Oh Shit! does he have a last minute project that he wants me to finish in an hour?
Oh Shit! did he actually mean to call his Great-Aunt Cee? (and, btw, who has Great-Aunts anymore?)
Let's get one thing clear, I was not thinking happy thoughts when I saw his name. And when I heard the tone of his voice, my gut went the way of old lady boobs and dropped straight down to my knees.
"Uh, hi. Hello Partner."
"I'm preparing for that deposition in the X matter. The one that you prepared the notice of deposition for. The one scheduled for 9am today."
"Yes..... [insert feeling of death]"
"I didn't reserve a conference room for this deposition, did you?"
.... phew.... is that all?......
"No I didn't...I will talk to the receptionist as soon as I get in."
"You didn't happen to schedule a court reporter did you?"
OH, HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT.
"Shit." [my thoughts exactly.]
Maybe I'm too hard on myself. Maybe I always fear the worst. Maybe I tend to over-react. But the only thing I focused on during the rest of my commute was what kind of funeral my career might be having by the end of the day.
My imagination went wild and I expected to show up at work with all the partners and associations huddled by the front door, wearing scaldingly scolding expressions. 25 pairs of fingers pointing disapprovingly at me. Boxes full of my picture frames and office nick-nacks, waiting for me.
I began texting my husband like crazy, warning him of the impending doom and the fact that I might be a stay-at-home mom by lunchtime. I can't say that I didn't almost cry. How could I forget something so basic? Sure, I've never scheduled or prepared for a deposition before, but STILL. I should have figured it out. Did I think court reporters magically rained down from heaven?
That was seriously the longest commute of my life. Then I got to work and it was so anti-climactic. No one even cared. No one even knew. Everyone was going about their own business and had no clue about my huge guffaw. I even popped my head into Partner's office and all he said was, "can you get me a copy of X's medical records? Thanks."
And so Cee rides again. She lives to make another mistake. Stay tuned.