Monday, June 29, 2009

If You Were Stuck On A Deserted Island

With one super-mini fridge, what five refrigerated items would you take with you?

So our refrigerator is broken. I think it was actually broken for three days before I really noticed it. I kept wondering why my juice was warm, why my yogurt was the wrong texture and why the inside smelled like rotting carcass. Hopefully this is an easy fix but in the meantime we are using a friend's dorm room sized mini fridge.

I left it up to my husband to transfer items from the broken fridge to the mini fride. But, surprisingly enough, not everything fits into this shoebox sized fridge. My husband had to sacrifice some items to the gods of broken fridge food spoilage. I have to say his choice of items differs greatly from what I would have chosen to save.

I would have saved, you know, things like a whole carton of eggs, my $10 five pound bag of pepperoni slices, delicious take-out leftovers and the over priced baby juice. Apparently my husband prefers a fridge full of condiments- like mayo, mutard, salad dressing, marinade, vinegar, soy sauce and barbeque sauce. Apparently its better to have things to dip your food in rather than to have actual real food.

When I challenged my husband on his somewhat odd choice he answered very practically, "we have more money invested in condiments than actual food."

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It's All About Jacob

Who is this totally fun toddler? I spent almost the entire weekend playing with Jacob while my husband attending his motorcycle certification class (I hate motorcycles!! RRG!). Jacob has suddenly become a total toddler. He is hilarious and so much fun! He is also super mobile and trying out new sounds. Although you can't really understand him yet, he can say his own version of "kitty kitty," "dog," and "bottle." Plus he says "num, num, num," for water and of course, "da da!"

I can't get over how very friendly he is- once he warms up to people, he spends all day crawling back and forth between them and trying to crawl all over them. He is such a ham and loves when he laugh at him- he will repeats the things that made us laugh just to get more attention. It's amazing how much he understands too. He does the following things on command: wave, clap hands, blow kisses, dance and find his wee wee (he doesn't need a command to do the last one).

crazy hair baby

Jacob finding his "wee wee"

Friday, June 26, 2009

Adventures In Client Communications

I called up a client today to get him to answer some interrogatories. This guy had one of those names where you think- "really? Someone gave you that name at birth?" His name was so punk rockish (let's pretend its Danger) that I hope to god he willingly chose it.

Me: "Do you have any other information about this incident aside from what's in the police report?"

Danger: "Hey, will they actually win this case? It's so bogus. They're like the people who sue movie theaters because the theater is too dark and when they came back into daylight they claim they got an eyeball sprain from being exposed to brightness."

Me: "I'm not really qualified to discuss the merits of the case."

Danger: "It's like someone who wants to sue his doctor because he gets a hangnail and the doctor didn't tell him how to properly clip his nails. Or like suing McDonald's for hot coffee.

Me: "Do you know if there were any other eyewitnesses or other people present at the time of the incident?"

Danger: "Dude (love when people call their lawyers 'dude'). I wasn't even involved. I didn't even know about the accident until a year later. Can we just put down "George Bush?" That would be hilarious. The judge would get a kick out of it. People take these thing too seriously anyway."

Me: "These things as in -- 'lawsuits for wrongful death'?"

Danger: "Oh I know! If you go to trial you should call me as an expert witness. It would be awesome. I'll show up in an orange afro and a clown suit."

Me: "Hopefully we'll settle before that is necessary... So, are you aware of any illness or medical condition that might have impaired the co-defendant's ability to operate a vehicle?"

Danger: "How about douche-baggery? He's a real douche-bag. That's a medical condition isn't it? By the way, if you ever talk to him tell him he owes me money."

Me: "I'll just put down that you are not aware of any illnesses."

Danger: "Hey, my insurance company is paying for all of this right? Can I sue my insurance company for wasting my time and making me answer these questions?"

Me: "Let me get this straight. You wan to sue your insurance company for carrying out their contractual obligations by defending you in this lawsuit?"

Most people want to sue their insurer for bad faith failures to defend or deny coverage. This guy wants to sue his insurance company for DEFENDING HIM IN A LAWSUIT. HUH?!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Kind Of A Touchy Subject?

I walked into an associate's office to ask him a question about our client's responses to interrogatories in a case I'm dealing with.

I walk in, start asking my question but stop mid sentence.

"Do you think we should..."

I looked around the associate's office and saw piles and piles of papers and redwells all over the place. There were stacks of documents growing up out of the floors, and mountains of them bubbling up all over the associate's desk and conference table. It looked like an entire file cabinet died in there but not before expunging itself. I blatently said as much to the associate.

"Wow. It looks like a file cabinet exploded in here."

He looked around, looked at me and solemly replied:

"I hate my life."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Law Is Sexy

Around noon today I returned from my daily trip to the generic food mart with my daily can of Diet Dr. Pepper and my daily bag of Skittles.

As soon as I got to my office an associate walked by. He told me he was going for coffee and invited me to come along. Although I had just stocked up on my noon caffeine fix- I took him up on the invitation. I've learned that something as little as grabbing coffee with an associate can be a big boost in getting to know someone and becoming a welcome part of the office social strata. So now I NEVER pass up any opportunity to make a coffee run with someone.

I'm so glad I went too! During the elevator ride down we (genuinely) chatted about theories of law and legal topics that were of particular interest to us. I let it out that I am a number one fan of UCC Sales and Secured Transactions. The associate told me that his very first case involved sale warranties and that he has had a soft spot for it ever since. I repeated for him a description of my love for all things UCC.

Then associate said something I never expected to hear from anyone but me. He told me about a topic of sales law that he thought was...get this..... "sexy!" He explained to me about how under a construction contract, when the UCC statue of limitations wears out on a product, the general contractor can still be held responsible for defects if he does not disclaim the implied warranties about his work on the project. Then under an equitable estoppel theory, the general contractor can seek indemnification from the product seller or manufacturer. (sexy huh?!).

As soon as this associate used the word "sexy" to describe the legal theory, I knew I had a bes friend for life. Finally, another person who thinks the law is capable of being sexy- and not just "hot suited professional attorney in court" sexy but "nerdy intellectual discussions about legal theories" sexy.

I immediately confessed to this associate my profound and unrequited love for the Economic Loss Doctrine. And the circle was complete. We both returned from our coffee run intellecutally stimulated and hot and bothered. I might even have had tousled, sweaty hair and an unbuttoned blouse from just thinking about it all.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Peace & Quiet & Duct Tape

When I was growing up we used to ask Dad each year what he wanted for Father's Day, his birthday, and Christmas. Everytime we asked we got the same response: "I just want peace and quiet."

Well this year, he finally gets his peace and quiet!

I made him a card with this photo. The best part of this is the duct tape. My dad is one of those dads whose motto is: "nothing is broken that can't be fixed with duct tape." Behold, the wonders of duct tape:

Peace and Quiet for Father's Day!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Matter No. Butterfinger

Today I worked closely with an associate on one of my latest assignments. Things have been nice so far this summer in that I have been assigned less research projects and more hands on case management projects. I find that I like being more involved and I like interacting more with the associates. I'm quickly finding my spot in the social circles of the firm and becoming friendly with my co-workers.

Except maybe I got too friendly.

After speaking with a client today, I sent a follow up email to the client and cc'ed the associate on the case. this is the same associate I had been working with for most of the day. The associate promptly responded to remind me that I had referenced the wrong case number in the subject of my email. He wanted to make sure I caught this before I started billing my time on the wrong case. He sympathized with me on how hard it is to remember case numbers. Then we made some funny (lame) jokes about lawyers and numbers not mixing. You know, the jokes you've heard a million times in law school. Except I still think they are funny (because they are soooo true!).

Finally, I suggested that we reference and identify cases by assigning then candy bar names and joked that I would REALLY remember the cases if they were linked to chocolate. I chuckled to myself at how funny I was. And then?

No reply.

Ten minutes later: No reply.

Hour later: No reply.

Dude, the guy completely stopped talking to me for the rest of the day. Even when we almost passed each other in the hall way (he ducked back into his office really quickly as I walked by).

Hey, it wasn't THAT LAME.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Some Cliches And The Meaning Of Life

Tonight I had one of those moments. I had one of the “my heart aches I love him so much” moments.

I cradled Jacob in my arm and walked him into his room. I rocked him slowly back and forth and his light blue eyes stood out starkly in his dark room as he looked up at me. Our eyes met and we just watched each other for a minute or two. He reached a hand up toward my face. As if to let me know he needed me and he loved me. That he too enjoyed this little moment just between the two of us. That he liked being near me. Then, with the back of his baby soft hands, he gently rubbed his eyes. He sighed a couple of times and I placed him gently into his crib. His eyes, that had been drooping, snapped open. He turned his head quickly to look at me as if to say “you’re not going to go are you? Please stay.”

I held his hand and brushed his cheeks until sleep overtook him. He was so small and so big at the same time. His little fingers seemed dwarfed in my own. But he was not the newborn we once brought home. These short and sweet moments will be too few. It struck me that our very existence, our lives, are the most valuable things we have. But our lives, while so valuable, are given and taken so carelessly. We create life by accident sometimes and we take life so casually. Each life is priceless but much too fragile. How sad is that? I would think that nature would find a better way to protect its most precious creation from its own self.

I watched Jacob sleep for a little while longer. He inhaled so softly and delicately. Such a tiny being, but my love for him is huge. And it is a cliché but there really is no other way to say it. It’s just another of life’s paradox: that love can be defined in something so small yet be so encompassing. And my love for him is the purest kind of love I have ever felt. I have never loved so completely and so selflessly. My love for him is one hundred percent about him alone. I keep nothing for myself.

I just don’t see how life could have had any meaning before him.

Waving Goodbye:

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Things That Make Me Think Naughty Thoughts

1. Bow ties. No explanation needed.

2. Spoons. Do you know how provocative it is to watch someone eating with a spoon or when you eat with a spoon yourself? I always feel self conscious when other people are watching me. I feel taboo and risque. Maybe next time I should wink at the person sitting next to me while I place a heaping spoonful of yogurt daintily between my slightly parted lips.

3. Wearing a skirt. Whenever I wear a skirt or a dress, I feel five exactly degrees sexier. I could elaborate, but I feel only inappropriate things would come out.

4. John Legend. I love his music but the lyrics are very suggestive if not flat out sexual. I don't know from experience but I am thinking his music might be good make out music. I just might experiment this weekend...with my husband of course, duh!

5. Ford Aerostar Vans. I used to be a proud owner. When my husband and I were dating and living at home with our respective parents, the van became the focus of our special "encounters." Now when I see one, I remember the desperate, heavy yearning of our young love.

6. Anyone with the last name Wiener. What an unfortunate name. Really? You don't want to change your last name? I am so immature that I have to supress a giggle each time I hear it.

7. Rain. I love rain (good thing I live in Seattle). I love running in it. I love how getting drenched in a downpour makes me feel excitedly careless and impulsively adventurous. When I am indoors during a rain storm, I am prone to gazing out the window, my head full of day dreams. Nothing is sexier than being spontaneously drenched. Nothing is sexier than being stuck daydreaming indoors while the heavens crash down around you.

8. Aftershave. There are some smells that I will never forget. Every guy I dated had his signature product smell. Sometimes I wear my husband's deodorant and I love it because then I smell him all day long. I usually can't wait to get home and cuddle.

9. Legalese. Every once in a while I come across a legal word that sounds like it could be dirty.

"Baby, come on over and indemnify me!"
"After work we engaged in a little one on one subrogation."
"Tonight you better fulfil your fudiciary dooooties."
"I just want to codicil all night long."

And words to say in bed: "a fortiori" "punishee"- sounds like "punish me"

Monday, June 8, 2009

Fail Day

I officially declare today Fail Day. These are the reasons why:

1. I left the house on time for once! But I didn't realize until I was on the ferry that I forgot to put real shoes on. I walked around the office all day in my super casual beach flip flops. I tried so hard not to make the flip flop noises as I walked by the partner offices.

2. I even had time to make breakfast before leaving the house- I was super excited about my delicious cinnamon toast. Then I took a big bite and tasted CUMIN toast! They are right next to each other in similar containers...gross!

I learned my lesson today. If you are on time and you even get a chance to make breakfast, chances are you are forgetting a something (or two)! A really big something.

When I got home, I made Indian chicken curry with rice and homemade naan bread. Except my no-fail curry recipe was a fail. I put too much tomato paste and it tasted like spagetti o's. I ended up improvising by adding barbeque sauce (all you Indian culinary masters are gasping). But it tasted kinda good :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Here A Nerd, There A Nerd

First I want to give you an update on the Office Funny Guy. In case you don't remember, he was giving me grief everyday by asking me to buy him mochas and take him out to lunch. One morning I waltzed into his office and handed him a mocha. He looked shocked and was caught totally off guard. Then I think he started feeling guilty that I actually bought him one. I think for once, HE was in the awkward position and it was his turn to be on the defensive. Anyway, he has not asked me to buy him anything for an entire week. I think I am safe for now.

Other than that, work is going pretty well. I'm working on a couple of interesting cases and the associates are letting me do more than just write memos.

One of the cases I am working on involves the Uniform Commercial Code. This just so happens to be like my FAVORITE thing EVER! I LOVE the UCC. I know, I'm nerdy like that but I just took a Sales & Secured Transactions class and I became totally enthralled in it. When the associate gave me an assignment in the case. I stopped taking notes, looked up at him and exclaimed, "I LOVE THE UCC! I'M SO EXCITED." He looked at me as if I just suggested he should run face first into a giant pile of elephant shit.

Then he started telling me how the Plaintiff's attorney in this case filed the complaint even though the UCC statute of limitations expired over a year ago. What's wrong with that attorney? How could you miss something like that? But then I told Associate that certain warranty language can extend the statute of limitations if it extends future performace under the contract. I told him the UCC allows this under Article 2-725. I then explained how the warranty language in this case probably wouldn't extend performance but maybe the other attorney thought it would. Ooops, I just schooled an associate... I'm thinking I should have kept my mouth shut on that one.

The associate in this UCC case gave me a lot of responsibility. He let me call two witnesses and take down their account of what happened. He also asked me to write our first set of interrogatories for the plaintiff. I came up with 52 interrogatories and a slew of production requests. It's amazing. I actually felt like I was useful in this case.

For another case, a construction defect case, I got to draft letters to our client's subcontractors letting them know we were tendering defense of the case to them.

Now I'm working on an issue of coverage under an insurance policy. Our client is an insurance company and they want to know what their liability is in a claim against their insured.

All in all, I feel like I'm working on important stuff. The law firm is pretty much treating me like an associate. I love the responsibility they give me . I also love the experience I am gaining in different stages of a lawsuit. Since my tasks aren't tedious, my days actually go by really fast! It's amazing how I'm thriving and learning in real practice while at the same time the grades that are trickling in from last semester are pretty crummy. If all I had to go on were my grades, I would be very worried about prospective future employment. Thank goodness I have some work experience to back up my resume.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Best Intersection In The World

Is right here:

Bottoms Up

I ventured into Jacob's room prematurely this morning. His room is my laundry dumping ground. When I'm too lazy to put away my clothes (dirty or clean) I throw them in a pile in his room because, except for when I put Jacob to bed at night, no one ever goes in there. I am ashamed. But not enough to stop.

After my morning shower the search for panties was on. You can tell I am getting down to my last pair when I start waltzing around in thongs because I don't particularly like thongs and so i save them for last resort. This morning I didn't even have any thongs left! So I went to Jacob's room where I had just (four days ago) deposited a fresh load a clean laundry onto his room. I was nervous I would wake him but he was sleeping like a baby.

I found him like this: knees tucked under his chest and butt in the air.

Then he donned his costume and we played Batman for a little while.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Gift Of The Magi II: The Darker Version

The story of my birthday revealed itself as a real Catch-22. In some ways it reminds me of The Gift of the Magi...but a darker alternative version.

Saturday, my birthday, I was pretty pouty from the moment I woke up. I guess I was expecting to be disappointed. As the day unfolded, things didn't go exactly the way I wanted them and I got even more pouty. Well by the end of the evening I realized my foul mood would not be rescued by an extravagant (or even minor) showing of attention from my husband. When this expectation sunk into reality, I became completely pissed off (read: bitchy).

The day had come and gone and I thought my husband had made no attempt to make me feel special. I was angry for a whole two days. I thought I was married to the most Horrible man on Earth. Remembering all our fights in the past (probably only one or two so far), after which I was always the one who gave in first to apologize or make things right, I was determined to make him suffer until he could take it no more and came grovelling for forgiveness. This didn't happen for a long time- thus, I was angry for a long time and man, was that hard work.

Now my husband's side (because there is always another side). To my husband, I woke up crabby for no reason. I pouted around the house and gave him the silent treatment. He had, in fact, bought me a gift. It was a gift that he had picked out with great care. But as my attitude grew colder and meaner towards him, his desire to give me this gift waned. By the end of the night, as I became a Total Drama Queen Bitch, it disappeared altogether.

When I slept on the couch and refused to talk to him for two days, he became more angry (and confused-he had no idea why I was acting the way I was). He was bitter for my continued coldness. He thought I was acting out at him for no reason.

Finally, he sent me an email telling me he was sorry. I was still pissed because he didn't say what he was sorry for. But his email explained that he didn't know what was wrong with me. What was wrong with me? Is he crazy? No, what is wrong with him! How the hell do you not do anything for your wife's birthday. He actually did buy me a gift but was too mad to give it to me. Really? Oops. Now I felt a tad bit like a selfish high maintenance drama queen.

So, I was crabby because I thought he did not do anything for my birthday.
He bought a gift but didn't give it to me or celebrate my birthday because I was crabby.

This is a prime example that women are from Venus and men are from Mars.

By the way, my husband gave me a gift card to Nordstroms, a bow-tie (I was dying for him to wear a sexy bowtie for me), and the movie Sleepless in Seattle which I had been wanting to see. So last night we watched the movie and he wore the bowtie (only) and we made up. While I ended up getting a gift on my birthday, I feel awful for all of you out there who have confessed to receiving nothing for birthdays and celebrations. Everyone should take the advice expressed int he comments and tell your husbands what your expectations are. Maybe this should be a topic in engagement retreats and pre-nuptial counseling.

BTW- the person who made an anonymous comment which I deleted-- I know who you are- it's really obvious because you are one of the only people who knows about the content that you posted. Seriously, that was rude and I don't appreciate it.