Three weeks until B-day (bar exam day).
I'm starting to feel confident in a couple subjects (torts, contracts, evidence, landlord tenant law, con law) but totally spazzing out about others (crim pro, real property, indian law, civ pro). UGH! And I hate the person bar prep is turning me into. I'm constantly whining, miserable, stressed and always feel like the world is out to get me. Nothing is half full, there is no light at the end of the tunnel and lemons only give you sour lemon rinds.
I just want this horror to be over.
I've been studying about 8 hours a day everyday (even weekends) for the past month. The only exception to this was one day when I studied 4 hours in the afternoon and took the rest of the night off. But you can bet your bottom that I was tormented every second of that brake because I wasn't studying.
I wake up each morning dreading the day ahead of me and I go to bed each night dreading that fact that I have to eventually wake up and face the morning. I'm pretty sure other people survive bar prep without feeling so miserable and horrible, why am I having such a negative reaction to it?
Maybe it's the fact that I've studied for more hours this past month than I did all of last semester (possibly including finals week). And I feel like I'm wasting precious and rare hours with my baby- he's practically being raised at his grandparents' house right now and I feel HORRIBLE. The floors in my house are NASTY. I'm running out of clean underwear. I'm sick of eating frozen pizza for dinner. I'm sadly depleting all available credit left on my credit cards. I'm starting to wonder why I even bother to shower because I never leave my house (except for a chocolate run) and I don't even remember the last time I got any action in the bedroom (not due to any lack of trying on my part). I don't even remember what life was life before I had this huge bar exam chain around my neck. Seriously, people survive this crap?
And if I hear one more person tell me they passed the bar and they only studied the two weeks before the exam, I'm gonna go serial killer Dexter style on these people! I'd rather go through another semester (maybe 2) of law school than deal with the stress and tortures of the bar exam.
Why does my life suck and why do I suck at life?!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
What She REALLY Wants For V-Day
Sure flowers are good. Who would turn their nose at a box of chocolates? And who would decline free dinner out on the town? But if your girl is like me, these things are just pretext for what she REALLY wants. And the good news guys, what she REALLY wants won't cost you a dime.
What a girl (at least me) wants for Valentine's Day is REALLY simple. So why can't guys ever get it right? Maybe it's because they are so focused on making reservations or are totally overwhelmed by what to buy. The best V-day gift, however, cannot be found in a department store (although, we do like things in department stores). It cannot be bought on Amazon.com (although, feel free to blow your wad on a ton of stuff for us- we won't mind, really).
What she really wants is.... YOU! Amazing huh? Or to be more specific, your total enamoration and constant attention. This is all I ever want for any special occassion- attention! For one night out of the year, I want the luxury of pretending I am in a romance novel and the main hero (you) cannot get enough of me. I want my guy to at least PRETEND that his every next breath depends upon him being in close proximity to me. I want him to act like he doesn't see me every day of his life. To pretend I am hotter than a stolen Honda Accord complete with six-cd changer stereo and subwoofers so powerful they could shoot your backseat granny straight through the roof.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
Since guys are SIMPLE. And the prior paragraphs are probably too much to soak in all at once, let me spell it out to you in PLAIN. SIMPLE. ENGLISH. Here is a list of things I recommend that guys should do on V-day. Since, I'm not sure about the male species' ability to count above ten, I will keep this list short (just kidding guys- I love you).
1. Tell her she looks beautiful. More than once.
2. Act like you mean it. Seriously. Don't just mumble "your hot" under your breath. Step back, look at her, take a deep breath and say, "wow, you look beautiful." This is important. Got it?
3. Hold her hand. It won't kill you. Buy hand sanitizer if you're worried.
4. Put your hand on the small of her back whenever you are not holding her hand.
5. Make an effort to dress up. Then complement HER outfit. Ok, technically that's two but they are related.
6. Put your hand on her knee whenever appropriate.
7. Lead her into at least one unexpected and romantic kiss (against a wall, sneaking a kiss in public, in the rain, under the moonlight, on a beach, surrounded by green fairy dust and a serenading moon in a bohemian themed musical- whatever floats your boat- or hers).
8. Act like you want her. Scratch that- you NEED her. Your body needs to take her right then and there. But you won't, of course, because of those inconvenient laws against "public indecency." Show her you need her by flirting with your touches and your longing gazes all night long.
9. Show fore-thought. Even if it is making reservations one day in advance. Or writing a short little note. Don't just pick up a card on your way home for work. And if you do, heaven's sakes, take it out of the plastic bag and sign it BEFORE she sees it.
Now, Good luck (husband are you reading?)!
What a girl (at least me) wants for Valentine's Day is REALLY simple. So why can't guys ever get it right? Maybe it's because they are so focused on making reservations or are totally overwhelmed by what to buy. The best V-day gift, however, cannot be found in a department store (although, we do like things in department stores). It cannot be bought on Amazon.com (although, feel free to blow your wad on a ton of stuff for us- we won't mind, really).
What she really wants is.... YOU! Amazing huh? Or to be more specific, your total enamoration and constant attention. This is all I ever want for any special occassion- attention! For one night out of the year, I want the luxury of pretending I am in a romance novel and the main hero (you) cannot get enough of me. I want my guy to at least PRETEND that his every next breath depends upon him being in close proximity to me. I want him to act like he doesn't see me every day of his life. To pretend I am hotter than a stolen Honda Accord complete with six-cd changer stereo and subwoofers so powerful they could shoot your backseat granny straight through the roof.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
Since guys are SIMPLE. And the prior paragraphs are probably too much to soak in all at once, let me spell it out to you in PLAIN. SIMPLE. ENGLISH. Here is a list of things I recommend that guys should do on V-day. Since, I'm not sure about the male species' ability to count above ten, I will keep this list short (just kidding guys- I love you).
1. Tell her she looks beautiful. More than once.
2. Act like you mean it. Seriously. Don't just mumble "your hot" under your breath. Step back, look at her, take a deep breath and say, "wow, you look beautiful." This is important. Got it?
3. Hold her hand. It won't kill you. Buy hand sanitizer if you're worried.
4. Put your hand on the small of her back whenever you are not holding her hand.
5. Make an effort to dress up. Then complement HER outfit. Ok, technically that's two but they are related.
6. Put your hand on her knee whenever appropriate.
7. Lead her into at least one unexpected and romantic kiss (against a wall, sneaking a kiss in public, in the rain, under the moonlight, on a beach, surrounded by green fairy dust and a serenading moon in a bohemian themed musical- whatever floats your boat- or hers).
8. Act like you want her. Scratch that- you NEED her. Your body needs to take her right then and there. But you won't, of course, because of those inconvenient laws against "public indecency." Show her you need her by flirting with your touches and your longing gazes all night long.
9. Show fore-thought. Even if it is making reservations one day in advance. Or writing a short little note. Don't just pick up a card on your way home for work. And if you do, heaven's sakes, take it out of the plastic bag and sign it BEFORE she sees it.
Now, Good luck (husband are you reading?)!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wanted: Fashion Advice For The Office
Nothing gets me more excited than having a reason to dress up. My two summers of employment at The Firm were awesome due to the simple fact that I got to wear shirtdresses and blouses and blazers. I LOVE IT.
However, I was always self conscious. Am I wearing this bazer right? To tuck in or not to tuck in? Are bare legs appropriate?
So I'm seeking YOUR help!
Tuck-In?
First question: Tuck in your blouse or don't tuck in? I like the look of a sleek tucked in blouse on others. But I think I just look funny. Is it unprofessional to not tuck in your collared button up? Secondly- has anyone tried those Victoria Secret bodysuits? The look awesome but I have a long torso and really, onesies for adults?
Skirt Length?
I personally like my skirt to fall right at my knees (my knees are kinda gnarly anyway). But I always have a hard time finding this length. Maybe it's me- I have long legs AND a long torso. So skirts always fall a couple inches above the knee (office skank?) OR they are a couple inches below (office prudely matron?). What's the most appropriate length? Why do above-the-knee skirts look appropriate on others but make me feel, to put it nicely, like a $2 ho-bag?
Blazers & Jackets
When you wear a suit, do you button the suit jacket or leave it open? If you button it, which button do you button? All of them? Are there different standards when you are in-court versus hanging around the office picking the lint between your toes? Ew, I SO do not do that, btw.
Bare NEKKID Legs?
I HATE panty hose. But they DO keep my legs warm in the winter (and they offer an extra day or two between shavings). Is it appropriate to be bare-legged at the office? What about court? I've heard people refer to the "tie rule." When a guy has to wear a tie, that's when a girl should don the horrid panty-hose. What do all you hip, modern women think about that?
Open Toed Shoes.
The answer of course is YES! I love peek toe shoes. But my real question is, is it totally a fashion sin to wear sheer leggings with pants and open toed shoes? Sometimes I have to wear leggings. The world needs a protective barrier between it and my feet (public safety, y'all).
Under the Blazer or Suit Jacket.
I usually just wear a collared shirt under a suit jacket, because I am boring like that. What else can I wear under one? A thin sweater? A frilly tank top? Are those no-nos?
Bright Colors?
I tend to be conservative when it comes to colors. I hate to stand out. But I feel like my wardrobe is drowning in greys, blacks, off-whites and blues. How do all you professional women avoid the drab without becoming a bee attracting eyesore?
Other considerations: I really like to live by the motto, "dress for the job you want not the job you have." And personally, I look younger than I am (I hate that!). So I try to be more conservative and professional in general so that people will take me more seriously. I feel like this is really important for a woman in the legal field. But I don't want to be stuck in my grandma's era of professional attire. So anything that you can offer as advice is so appreciated! Thanks in advance!
However, I was always self conscious. Am I wearing this bazer right? To tuck in or not to tuck in? Are bare legs appropriate?
So I'm seeking YOUR help!
Tuck-In?
First question: Tuck in your blouse or don't tuck in? I like the look of a sleek tucked in blouse on others. But I think I just look funny. Is it unprofessional to not tuck in your collared button up? Secondly- has anyone tried those Victoria Secret bodysuits? The look awesome but I have a long torso and really, onesies for adults?
Skirt Length?
I personally like my skirt to fall right at my knees (my knees are kinda gnarly anyway). But I always have a hard time finding this length. Maybe it's me- I have long legs AND a long torso. So skirts always fall a couple inches above the knee (office skank?) OR they are a couple inches below (office prudely matron?). What's the most appropriate length? Why do above-the-knee skirts look appropriate on others but make me feel, to put it nicely, like a $2 ho-bag?
Blazers & Jackets
When you wear a suit, do you button the suit jacket or leave it open? If you button it, which button do you button? All of them? Are there different standards when you are in-court versus hanging around the office picking the lint between your toes? Ew, I SO do not do that, btw.
Bare NEKKID Legs?
I HATE panty hose. But they DO keep my legs warm in the winter (and they offer an extra day or two between shavings). Is it appropriate to be bare-legged at the office? What about court? I've heard people refer to the "tie rule." When a guy has to wear a tie, that's when a girl should don the horrid panty-hose. What do all you hip, modern women think about that?
Open Toed Shoes.
The answer of course is YES! I love peek toe shoes. But my real question is, is it totally a fashion sin to wear sheer leggings with pants and open toed shoes? Sometimes I have to wear leggings. The world needs a protective barrier between it and my feet (public safety, y'all).
Under the Blazer or Suit Jacket.
I usually just wear a collared shirt under a suit jacket, because I am boring like that. What else can I wear under one? A thin sweater? A frilly tank top? Are those no-nos?
Bright Colors?
I tend to be conservative when it comes to colors. I hate to stand out. But I feel like my wardrobe is drowning in greys, blacks, off-whites and blues. How do all you professional women avoid the drab without becoming a bee attracting eyesore?
Other considerations: I really like to live by the motto, "dress for the job you want not the job you have." And personally, I look younger than I am (I hate that!). So I try to be more conservative and professional in general so that people will take me more seriously. I feel like this is really important for a woman in the legal field. But I don't want to be stuck in my grandma's era of professional attire. So anything that you can offer as advice is so appreciated! Thanks in advance!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Don't You Just Hate That?
You are in a big building with dead end corridors everywhere you turn and staircases leading you into a never ending maze. Bullets whiz by you and explosions burst from every which way. You suddeny realize you are being attacked by terrorists.
Then a big hunky man emerges from the fray. Tall and slender but with muscles that would make The Rock green with envy. "Down!" He instructs, holding you to the floor with his body as a bullet flies by your face. "Stay here!" Then he's off, muscles and all, down the hall to stop the attack, save the building and save your life.
He's gone a while but you're too afraid to move. You sit in the dark, trembling. Hoping the terrorist attack stops. After a while, the explosions stop. All is quiet. You hear something coming down the hall towards you, it's heavy footsteps. Your gut tightens and you try to make yourself as small as possible, hidden in the corner. Then a tall figure approaches. His manly frame is backlit but you immediately recognize him as your Hunky Hero. He limps towards you, his shoulder is bandaged.
"What happened?" You ask, pointing to the stranger's shoulder. "Ah, that's nothing. Got caught in the crossfire. But it's over now. They're gone." He slowly comes towards you. "How about you. Are you ok?"
"I'm fine." You assure him, still feeling flustered.
"I can see that." He replies, with a mischevious smirk. He continues to approach you. Your heart feels like it's on fire and your blood is pulsing on overdrive. He wraps his big, strong arms around you like he is going to lift you up, but he doesn't. You can smell gunpowder and sweat on his skin (so manly!). Then he leans his body into yours. Slowly. Slowly. His eyes, intently focused on yours, read your desires like an open book. Your lips are just a finger breadth apart from his now. And then....
You wake up to the sound of a screaming toddler. Who probably just took the world's largest shit in his diaper. It's 7:32 am. Your eyelids are heavy. And you have to face a full day of Criminal Procedure lecture.
DON'T YOU JUST HATE THAT?!
Then a big hunky man emerges from the fray. Tall and slender but with muscles that would make The Rock green with envy. "Down!" He instructs, holding you to the floor with his body as a bullet flies by your face. "Stay here!" Then he's off, muscles and all, down the hall to stop the attack, save the building and save your life.
He's gone a while but you're too afraid to move. You sit in the dark, trembling. Hoping the terrorist attack stops. After a while, the explosions stop. All is quiet. You hear something coming down the hall towards you, it's heavy footsteps. Your gut tightens and you try to make yourself as small as possible, hidden in the corner. Then a tall figure approaches. His manly frame is backlit but you immediately recognize him as your Hunky Hero. He limps towards you, his shoulder is bandaged.
"What happened?" You ask, pointing to the stranger's shoulder. "Ah, that's nothing. Got caught in the crossfire. But it's over now. They're gone." He slowly comes towards you. "How about you. Are you ok?"
"I'm fine." You assure him, still feeling flustered.
"I can see that." He replies, with a mischevious smirk. He continues to approach you. Your heart feels like it's on fire and your blood is pulsing on overdrive. He wraps his big, strong arms around you like he is going to lift you up, but he doesn't. You can smell gunpowder and sweat on his skin (so manly!). Then he leans his body into yours. Slowly. Slowly. His eyes, intently focused on yours, read your desires like an open book. Your lips are just a finger breadth apart from his now. And then....
You wake up to the sound of a screaming toddler. Who probably just took the world's largest shit in his diaper. It's 7:32 am. Your eyelids are heavy. And you have to face a full day of Criminal Procedure lecture.
DON'T YOU JUST HATE THAT?!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Keeping It In The Family (AKA: "I Have Issues")
I think I mentioned on here once that I have a mini crush on my father-in-law. Ok, ok, it's not really a CRUSH- I just think he's cute. And nice. And funny. And I have this thing for older men. I feel ashamed to bring it up again because most people commented their horror and disgust about my little secret. (But hey, it's not THAT farfetched, I mean he's the genetic source of my husband's good looks afterall).
The problem is, it's not much of a secret. Once when I was out drinking with my sister-in-law, I just MIGHT have mentioned that I thought her dad was cute. Then one time hanging out with my cousin-in-law, before I married my husband, I might have told her that I thought her uncle was cute. I know, I know. WHERE is my (1) decency and (2) self control?
My husband tells me these people I had unfortunately confided in have big mouths. So I am very paranoid that Father-in-law knows I have a thing for him. This makes me slightly uncomfortable when, during family get togethers he shifts his attention towards me and asks me how my life is going and I turn bright red for no APPARENT reason, although there are plenty of unapparent reasons bubbling beneath the surface.
If my father-in-law wasn't in on my secret before, I'm pretty sure he is now. This year he friended me on facebook. I'm friends with many of my husband's adult relatives so that, in and of itself, is not weird. We've been facebook friends for a while now and it always concerns my husband when he goes to pick up our son from his parent's house and my father-in-law makes some comment about my facebook status. My husband jokes about using me to get to my sister, so I joke about using him to get to his dad- talk about dysfunctional family right?
Anyway, I was going over some old family photos in my facebook albums. There were plenty of photos of my husband's parents from our wedding that I had posted before I was FB friends with Husband's family. I realized that I had tagged my father-in-law in each picture where he appeared, even though he didn't have a FB account yet. To my HORROR I realized that I tagged him as "husband's hot dad" in ALL OF THEM. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I'm SURE Father-in-law has seen them.
Again:
WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?
GULP.
The problem is, it's not much of a secret. Once when I was out drinking with my sister-in-law, I just MIGHT have mentioned that I thought her dad was cute. Then one time hanging out with my cousin-in-law, before I married my husband, I might have told her that I thought her uncle was cute. I know, I know. WHERE is my (1) decency and (2) self control?
My husband tells me these people I had unfortunately confided in have big mouths. So I am very paranoid that Father-in-law knows I have a thing for him. This makes me slightly uncomfortable when, during family get togethers he shifts his attention towards me and asks me how my life is going and I turn bright red for no APPARENT reason, although there are plenty of unapparent reasons bubbling beneath the surface.
If my father-in-law wasn't in on my secret before, I'm pretty sure he is now. This year he friended me on facebook. I'm friends with many of my husband's adult relatives so that, in and of itself, is not weird. We've been facebook friends for a while now and it always concerns my husband when he goes to pick up our son from his parent's house and my father-in-law makes some comment about my facebook status. My husband jokes about using me to get to my sister, so I joke about using him to get to his dad- talk about dysfunctional family right?
Anyway, I was going over some old family photos in my facebook albums. There were plenty of photos of my husband's parents from our wedding that I had posted before I was FB friends with Husband's family. I realized that I had tagged my father-in-law in each picture where he appeared, even though he didn't have a FB account yet. To my HORROR I realized that I tagged him as "husband's hot dad" in ALL OF THEM. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I'm SURE Father-in-law has seen them.
Again:
WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?
GULP.
Family Planning II: In Sum
Thank you all for your great comments on my post about family planning as a first year associate. They were really helpful! I don't feel so conflicted or concerned now.
The general consensus seemed to be:
1) don't wait too long
2) but get SOME experience in first (enough to make you employable/become a value to the firm)
3) find out my employer's policies re: maternity leave and whether the FLMA applies to them
4) try to cut down the commute
5) ultimately, do what you WANT
6) A lot of women are worrying about this issue too!
I think my plan will be to get a year under my belt before I'm in the situation where I have to take maternity leave. I honestly don't think I can wait 2 years though. Of course, you can't fully control babies- but it's nice knowing I have a plan either way.
Unfortunately I can't really move closer to work at this time because our home has negative equity right now (we bought before the big real estate bubble burst) and because of my husband's work. BUT there are plans in the works to get a faster ferry that may cut my commute in half- so awesome!
I always find it funny the ranges people consider to be a "mid-sized" firm. I always considered my firm of about 25 attorneys mid-sized because I previously worked in a two-attorney firm. But I've heard others, and previous commenters talk about "mid-sized" 300 attorney firms (thanks for the comment Lyn)! I guess in the world of international 500+ attorney firms, that is true. It still blows my mind that a firm can employ that many attorneys.
Thanks again everyone for your awesome advice!
The general consensus seemed to be:
1) don't wait too long
2) but get SOME experience in first (enough to make you employable/become a value to the firm)
3) find out my employer's policies re: maternity leave and whether the FLMA applies to them
4) try to cut down the commute
5) ultimately, do what you WANT
6) A lot of women are worrying about this issue too!
I think my plan will be to get a year under my belt before I'm in the situation where I have to take maternity leave. I honestly don't think I can wait 2 years though. Of course, you can't fully control babies- but it's nice knowing I have a plan either way.
Unfortunately I can't really move closer to work at this time because our home has negative equity right now (we bought before the big real estate bubble burst) and because of my husband's work. BUT there are plans in the works to get a faster ferry that may cut my commute in half- so awesome!
I always find it funny the ranges people consider to be a "mid-sized" firm. I always considered my firm of about 25 attorneys mid-sized because I previously worked in a two-attorney firm. But I've heard others, and previous commenters talk about "mid-sized" 300 attorney firms (thanks for the comment Lyn)! I guess in the world of international 500+ attorney firms, that is true. It still blows my mind that a firm can employ that many attorneys.
Thanks again everyone for your awesome advice!
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