Three weeks until B-day (bar exam day).
I'm starting to feel confident in a couple subjects (torts, contracts, evidence, landlord tenant law, con law) but totally spazzing out about others (crim pro, real property, indian law, civ pro). UGH! And I hate the person bar prep is turning me into. I'm constantly whining, miserable, stressed and always feel like the world is out to get me. Nothing is half full, there is no light at the end of the tunnel and lemons only give you sour lemon rinds.
I just want this horror to be over.
I've been studying about 8 hours a day everyday (even weekends) for the past month. The only exception to this was one day when I studied 4 hours in the afternoon and took the rest of the night off. But you can bet your bottom that I was tormented every second of that brake because I wasn't studying.
I wake up each morning dreading the day ahead of me and I go to bed each night dreading that fact that I have to eventually wake up and face the morning. I'm pretty sure other people survive bar prep without feeling so miserable and horrible, why am I having such a negative reaction to it?
Maybe it's the fact that I've studied for more hours this past month than I did all of last semester (possibly including finals week). And I feel like I'm wasting precious and rare hours with my baby- he's practically being raised at his grandparents' house right now and I feel HORRIBLE. The floors in my house are NASTY. I'm running out of clean underwear. I'm sick of eating frozen pizza for dinner. I'm sadly depleting all available credit left on my credit cards. I'm starting to wonder why I even bother to shower because I never leave my house (except for a chocolate run) and I don't even remember the last time I got any action in the bedroom (not due to any lack of trying on my part). I don't even remember what life was life before I had this huge bar exam chain around my neck. Seriously, people survive this crap?
And if I hear one more person tell me they passed the bar and they only studied the two weeks before the exam, I'm gonna go serial killer Dexter style on these people! I'd rather go through another semester (maybe 2) of law school than deal with the stress and tortures of the bar exam.
Why does my life suck and why do I suck at life?!