Family planning might as well be called "career planning" around my house.
Jacob is 16 months now and everyone around me is getting pregnant or having babies. I definately have the itch to have another baby- ok, correction, I've had the itch for over a year now- I know, I'm crazy!
We talk about not wanting our babies too far apart in age. The children in my family were two years apart. My brother was born on my second birthday- lamest present ever, ha ha. But how far is too far? I think three years is as far apart as I want my children. I mean I don't want to be 40 when I'm popping out my fourth kid (yes, I totally want 4 even after my horrible 2 hours of pushing + emergency c-section experience during which I experienced every possible problem under the sun). But I love babies and I guess that love overcomes my faulty memory.
So, it should be easy right? Go light some candles, put on some mood music, club my husband and drag him to the bedroom, right? WRONG!
See, I start work in March. I will be a first year associate at a crazy, busy litigation firm. In Seattle. My commute will be 1 hour and 20 minutes and involves a long ferry ride and a 2 mile walk- one way. I will be busy and tired and stressed. I've waited practically 6 years for a real job in a real career! This is a long time in coming and I want to do well. I want to prove myself. Aren't your first couple years as an attorney critical in developing skills and proving yoursef to your employers?
So, where does another baby fit in? I was pregnant and working as a summer associate at this firm two summers ago. I still performed well, but I didn't have the BILLABLE HOUR hanging over my head. And I was distracted ike 35% of the time. I couldn't wait to get out of there at the end of the summer and meet my baby. Then there were the million bathroom breaks, the half million snack breaks and the EXHAUSTION.
Then what happens when I have a baby? I'll want to take time off but I won't want to take time off- you know? If I was a couple years into practice I feel like this issue of family planning wouldn't be so crucial. I'd have proven myself a little, got some skills in and would feel more comfortable taking a couple months off. But I can't just start a job then request maternity leave right?
Any thoughts or experience out there on having babies as a 1 or 2 year associte? In the meantime I'll try to talk some sense into my reproductive system. Thanks.
(P.S. Is it just me or do other moms get jealous of all the attention that their friends and family get when they have a newborn? It's so immature but I get ridiculously jealous and want to have another baby right there to steal back the spot light. Now excuse me while I put myself in time out for just admitting that.)