My husband just left for a Seahawks game with a bunch of his friends and I have the whole day to spend with just Jacob. Times like now, when it's me and baby versus the world makes me realize that I don't have a group of friends to just "chill" with. Heck, I don't really even have one. When I get a free day or some down time, I don't have someone to call up and plan a day with. Usually it's just me and the baby.
I'm not a stay a "stay at home" mom and not a full fledged law student. I feel like I fall in the crack between these two worlds when it comes to the social side of things. Because of my family, I don't spend any extra free time at school or at school functions. When I'm not in class, I'm rushing to class or rushing to catch my ferry so I can get home to my husband and baby before they go to sleep. I feel like I've missed out on making lasting, close friendships through lawschool.
At the same time, I'm not a stay at home mom either. I don't have time to do the mommy group things that stay at home moms do. Even if I did have time, all those functions are scheduled during the work day when I'm unavailable. I don't meet other moms at the park or for baby play dates.
Sometimes this makes me so incredible lonely. I mean, I'm not a loner. I KNOW a lot of people. The problem is, aside from my husband, I don't have any close friends. No one I can confide in and share things with. So I wonder- what makes a good friend? Can just about anyone BECOME your best friend if you make the time for them or does it take a special kind of compatability? The best friends I've had in my life just kinda happened naturally.
I feel like I split my time living in two different worlds - the law school/legal profession world and the mommy world - but I never spend enough time in either world to feel like part of them.
The good news? My son is so freaking adorable: