Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Piss(y) & Vinegar

Ok, this post is more pissy than vinegar.

Multiple run ins with school bookstore employees today have led me to this conclusion: You know you've been in lawschool too long when people frequently ask you if you are "staff." I should just say yes so I can get my bookstore discount, but then they probably will want proof or something- lame!

In an unrelated note: on the way to school today I got pulled over and had my @$$ delivered to me by a cop. Not just ANY cop- but the fake motorcycle cops. It's like they aren't trusted enough with a real vehicle so they have to ride these dinky motorcycles and "wave" down traffic violators with their bare hands instead of fancy flashing lights- how unauthoritative can you be waving frantically at speeding vehicles that pass you by? And what is with those ridiculous boots they wear? They remind me of a cross between women knee-high boots and children's plastic rain boots.

So this cop gives me a freaking speeding ticket (my first one ever- I ALWAYS get a warning- where is my fifth warning not to speed on a public highway, so not fair! My due process rights have totally been violated!) but first he looks all solemn and says "You were going 15 mph over the limit but I only wrote you up for 5mph over the limit- I gave you the lowest possible fine." Then he hands me this naseatingly green paper all gracious-like, as if he is returning my lost puppy or something and leans into my car, just waiting... waiting for what? Does this dude want me to THANK HIM? I dodge eye contact and take the paper carefully as if I just watched the cop drop his pants and wipe his ass on it. WHAT? The fine is $115!! That's the LOWEST possible? I never want to see another cop as long as I live! Even if I was the bound and gagged and nominated pinata at a gang party. You can bet I'm going to contest the heck out of this thing- even if I AM guilty! Take that!

[Insert witty segue here]


Oops, not THAT kind of segue... anyway...

It is a TOTAL power trip to reject friend requests on Facebook! I rarely do this. In fact, I only reject people who I obviously don't know or who are scamming something. But, nonetheless, clicking that dainty little "ignore" button totally makes me want to clench my fists in ruthless power and raise them into the air while lightning strikes in the background. It totally does something to my ego and makes me feel like the coolest kid in school. I wish I had the guts to suddenly pretend to click an imaginary "ignore" button in real life when someone I can't stand starts talking to me... maybe someday that will be an option?

7 comments:

LEO said...

It takes all the strength I can muster to not cry when a cop starts talking to me ... I don't know, something about authority figures... But it pisses me off because I know it just boosts their ego, sending them on an extended power trip! I'm so glad you didn't say thank you.

paragon2pieces said...

so sorry to hear about the ticket! doesn't that just ruin the day?

if it makes you feel any better, i got a moving violation while i was in CA this summer and the fine was (... wait for it ...) $492!!!

jls said...

i always get really angry when i get pulled over. my husband was on the phone with me one time when a cop pulled me over for speeding and when i was done with the cop i got back on the phone with mike and asked him why i never get warnings...he told me i should try not to curse at the cop and i might have more luck!

lawmom said...

I just paid $436 for a red light camera ticket- bastards! The video was just too incriminating to bother w/ spending all day in traffic court!!

State has to make $$ some how

Proto Attorney said...

Always remember it's in the cop's discretion whether to write you a ticket. I usually bat my lashes, with a doe-eyed look, drum up my suh-thuhn accent, and throw in some "Why, Officer, I didn't realize the speed limit was only 35 here! My gracious, I thought it was 65!" Almost always works. Except the time I didn't have my proof of insurance with me, which is an automatic ticket and a court date. No discretion there. That sucks.

Eliza said...

I have to admit, this is one area that I adore my red-neck roots on. Can't do it myself, but I have actually been an eyewitness to my mother rolling down the window and, without removing cigarette, curses at the cop. Luv it.

Rayne of Terror said...

I need an ignore button IRL too. I was at a tweetup and being completely monopolized by a bore where I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I was totally thinking how long until I can unfollow this person without looking like a jerk.