Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ear Candy!

I have the lamest project at work this week. I'm analyzing over 1,400 pages of attorney time entries from opposing counsel so that we can argue why their fees and costs are excessive an unnecessary. Yay for me.

There is a silver lining to this eyeball burning, headache inducing lameness, however. Today I called co-counsel about a question I had with the time entries. I dialed up his direct number. That's when the sexiest, deepest voice, with a hint of southern drawl, answered the phone. My pants almost melted off right there in my office. The voice that came over the phone was funny and nice and was laced with quirky idioms.

This is what he had to say about opposing counsel: "If dumb was dirt, he'd cover half an acre." and "two sandwiches short of a picnic."

Can you have a crush on a voice? Can you have a crush on someone you've never even seen? About an hour later, I was still thinking about that voice. So I called him back and asked him a question I knew the answer to just so I could hear him again (speak of unnecessary attorney fees)!

How much you want to bet that he's an old man with no teeth and a mullet?


je said...

Aww... makes me miss the South!

paragon2pieces said...

aw, sounds like the cowboy talk we have here in texas. but not all the idioms cute, the other day one of the texans in my class claimed something was "as useless as tits on a boar hog." seriously.

Proto Attorney said...

I prefer an Australian accent, it's rugged and sexy. Scottish and Northern England is sexy too. I hear southern accents all the time, so there's really no appeal.

LL said...

You crack me up. I love that you called him again just to hear his voice. And yes, you can't definitely have a crush on a voice! I think it's easier than having a crush on a whole person because you can make up what he looks like, acts like, etc.

Tree Hugging 2L said...

I completely fell all over myself living in TX. The southern drawl is enough to make me seriously contemplate living in the south forever. But not really. I would caution you though - that this voice thing goes both ways. An ex boyfriend of mine had a TERRIBLE phone voice. A voice that made me question why I dated him. And yet he was a beautiful specimen of a man. So...voices are deceiving. I no longer practice audio discrimination.

Anonymous said...

My first love started as a voice crush. He was an exchange student from London, and a DJ on a high school radio station in the town next to mine. I would call and request a Book of Love song each time he was on the air. Finally, I hopped on my bike and rode it several miles to his school, found my way to the radio station, knocked on the door, and introduced myself.

He returned to London within 5 months, but we lasted another 2 years. I got to travel through Europe, attend an English ball at a castle, and go backstage at a New Order concert! All were very, very, very exciting at the time!

You never know where that voice crush will lead you. ;)