Saturday, April 24, 2010

Strippers And Sanctions

After work yesterday I went to a construction professionals meet and greet. There were mostly other construction defect lawyers in attendance. Laywers on both sides of the plaintiff/defendant fence and they all seemed to know each other. I spent a lot of time listening to other people talk about themselves. It was pretty lame. At events like this, I usually end up thinking that most attorneys are (1) old, (2) sleezy and (3) male. Maybe all the hot young professionals have better things to do on a Friday night.

Halfway through the evening another attorney joined the forray. He was loud and, quite clearly, drunk off his ass. He started talking about limos, strippers and cocaine. Nice. At this point in the evening I was the only woman in the room. Good thing I don't take offense easily, when you work in the legal profession, I don't think you really can. Also good thing I'm used to being "one of the guys."

During the discussion about stripper and cocaine, one of the other attorneys looks at me and says, "Sorry. This conversation is getting out of hand. Isn't it?"

I just looked at him and smiled, "It's ok. It takes a lot to offend me."

Then an attorney from my firm joins and says, "Yeah, take her out to lunch sometime and SHE'LL be the one offending YOU!" I think I turned bright red on the spot. But then I remembered the time I went to lunch with a group of attorneys from my firm. After one beer I was telling them all about the crush I have on my father-in-law and all the reasons why I could never be a stripper. Yeah, good times......

Anyway, the attorney that had just walked in starts introducing himself to someone next to me. His name sounds REALLY familiar. But I can't place it. Then the attorney from my firm says, "Cee, you have to meet this guy." He grabs my hand and takes me over to him and says, "Joe Bob, this is Cee. Cee this is Joe Bob. He's the guy that you got sanctioned."

Oh crap. THAT'S why his name sounds familiar! Remember that Motion to Dismiss that I wrote. The one where I claimed in my reply that they never responded timely when they actually DID? Well, it turns out the Judge granted our motion anyway and decided to sanction the other side a couple thousand dollars. And this was the guy from the other side.

Anyway so the guy at my firm introduces us and then "Joe Bob" just shrugs it off like it's no big deal. He's like, "I'm so filthy rich, I don't care. Maybe I deserved it." Then he continues right on talking about strippers and cocaine.

Gee, lawyers are such decent people.

Then I was bored out of my mind and ate about 53 chocolate covered strawberries.

4 comments:

Proto Attorney said...

LOL That's awesome. "I don't care that you got me sanctioned. Got any hookers and/or blow?"

If male attorneys are going to be misogynist pigs, the least they can do is make it fun with sexual harassment and illicit substances, rather than being boring old geezers on the golf course.

Izzie said...

Chocolate covered strawberries sound so awesome right now!

Downsized Attorney said...

Wow, sounds like a much livelier crowd than the stuffy cocktails parties I used to go to.

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