Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Effing Mother's Day

Today sucked. My baby spend yesterday and last night at my mother-in-law's so I could focus on my exam for tomorrow. Depsite the fact that today is mother's day, I spent from 9am to 6pm studying for my exam. I finally got to spend 1.5 hours with my baby when my mother-in-law had us over for dinner. But then I left him with her again tonight so I could resume my studies.

Instead of thinking how awesome my new life as a mom has been, or how much meaning Jacob adds to my life, I spent my first mother's day totally consumed by presentment warranties, funds availability, and holders in due course. The good news? This will probably be the worst mother's day of my life- so it can only get better from here. I just miss Jacob and I hate that I have to be away from him for so long.

On the way to dinner, we stopped by the store to pick up a card. No exaggeration, the store was FILLED with hundreds of moms and their babies/children (ok, maybe slight exaggeration). I totally teared up in the checkout aisle wishing it was me who was making faces at my baby and pushing him around the store. It must be finals. Finals has made me a total wreck. Yep, I'll blame finals.

There is one bit of advice that I want to share with other students who happen to have a new-crawler at home. If you need to study but your crawling baby requires more attention that usual, try this simple and easy trick to keep tabs on your kid (all you need is a balloon!):

Can you find the baby?

Re: my last post, I just wanted to clarify that I am NOT one of those people who eats, breathes and sleeps law school. But I feel guilty for that. I think that is the point I wanted to make, that law school puts pressure on you to be consumed by study. I don't have that luxury (nor do I think I would want it) but I feel guilty or like somehow I am not living up to my potential for not doing so. Living in the law library does not translate into success in the legal profession, but I feel like, in the traditional-successful-lawstudent sense, you cannot do as well if you have a life outside school.


je said...

good luck today. i'm off to suffer through int'l law. sorry your mother's day sucked. is mother's day just another holiday where everyone puts pressure on themselves to make it awesome, so it turns out to be stressful? you should celebrate it this week!

paragon2pieces said...

i agree with je! have your own special mother's day celebration post-finals :)

Taco John said...

I totally agree about the pressure law school puts on you to do things like give up your life outside of law school and also start treating people like dirt.

I still disagree that getting A's, getting on journal, getting a high GPA, getting a clerkship, getting a Biglaw job, all the traditional stuff requires that you give up your life outside of law school. I think there are ways to get all those things without committing yourself exclusively to law school.

gudnuff said...

For what it's worth, I think Mother's Day kinda sucks until your kid is old enough to know what it is and to make his own personal choices and contributions as to how to celebrate his own special mommy. So, the first two aren't so hot. There's a hollowness to the concept, because your offspring can't really do anything yet to honor you for all you do for him. But just wait. When he gets older? Oh, it'll be one of your favorite days, I'm willing to put money on it. I guess all I'm saying is, if you gotta blow a Mother's Day due to law school finals, this is the perfect one to miss out on. It's not like Jacob is gonna say, "Oh, nevermind, Mom. It's YOUR day. I'll wipe my own butt today, just for you!" So, you couldn't have planned it better. This is the one to miss. See how smart you are?!!

LEO said...

You are definitely entitled to a full-fledged mother's day celebration after finals are over!

Also, I hope my comment on your last post didn't leave the wrong impression... I wasn't implying that I think you are too consumed by law school or that you should be; I was just saying that I agree with you that the perception is you have to study all the time, but in reality I don't think that's true. It's easy to feel guilty about your own study habits when everyone around you is seemingly studying harder, but we can only do what works for us. Everyone learns in different ways and has different study habits. Studying non-stop for 14 hours a day during finals is tough on the body and the mind, and I think having things outside of lawschool to keep you balanced and maintain a healthy body can sometimes help more than studying can.
Woah, that is a long, drawn out way of saying try not to stress too much and just do the best you can do! Finals will be over soon :-D

(In)Sanity Gal said...

Blaming finals is ALWAYS an acceptable course of action. Sorry the Mother's Day was crappy - good luck on the finals!