I Went to the Bathroom. It Changed My Life.

Even though I know they aren't even due until sometime in January, I am already obsessed with checking my grades. And in the midst of waiting for the results of my law exams, I received results from a totally unrelated test. This test I passed with flying colors...

On the morning of Christmas Eve, I went to the bathroom. It changed my life.

The last two weeks I had been feeling very different. At first I thought I was imagining things, then I started to think something was wrong with me. It wasn't anything that I couldn't ignore, slight twinges in my stomache, feeling cold and having random headaches. So, I did just that, I ignored it. I distracted myself with buying Christmas gifts and eating chocolate. Then my friend from Japan stayed with me for ten days, giving me another excuse to ignore the weird symptoms.

Then one day after work, I came home and cried. I cried for no reason. I was trying to decide whether I should go shopping for more gifts or meet my Husband and his friends for drinks. You would have thought I was forced to decide between owning a life time supply of icecream or a freezer to put it all in. I just couldn't make a decision. I was so frustrated, I just had a melt down. I didn't even know what I was really crying about. After a couple hours of shopping therapy I was back to as close to normal as I ever am.

Later in the week, Husband and my friend went to see Will Smith's new movie, I Am Legend. At one point during the movie, while I was already hunched way down in my seat with my sweater hood pulled over my eyes and my teeth clenched on half chewed Jelly Bellys, I started bawling at the sight of an evil, creepy teenage zombie being taken away from its family. Yes, this creature was a deadly, almost inhumane, cannibal freak and I felt sad for it.

Ok, feeling sorry for a human eating zombie? That was the last straw! It was time to start ruling out the things that could possibly be wrong with me. The very next morning, I woke up, ran into the bathroom, and peed on a stick. At first I couldn't tell... did I see two lines? My hands were shaking, I was sleepy, and the bathroom light wasn't so bright. I ran into the bedroom where Husband was and interrupted his unsuspecting, peaceful sleep to shove a pregnancy test in his face.

"What do you see? Are there two lines?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I guess." he replied. That was it, the confirmation. I was holding a Big. Fat. Positive.

When he started to roll over like he was going back to sleep, I poked him with the pee-warm stick. "Do you know what this means?!"

Like a scavenger squirrel, I shoved the BFP in my top drawer under a burrow of underwear. What the hell was I supposed to do with it? I was too jittery and scared to go back to bed. I just laid there. Scared. Happy. Worried. Excited. Scared. Oh Shit.

Now if I can only do so well on my law exams.