Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Can't Get Enough Of You Baby

This baby is SO GOOD. So far he only wakes up once during the middle of the night to eat and then waits until 7am for his breakfast. I'm totally being spoiled.

I've heard a lot of pregnant women say that they are already completely in love with their unborn babies. I've heard them comment about how they are amazed they could fully love someone they have never even met.

I really wanted to feel that way when I was pregnant. I wanted to feel that sense of total enamoration and fall in love with the baby growing inside me. But the truth is, I just couldn't. It was amazing seeing pictures of him, listening to his heart beat and feel him moving around. But he just didn't seem real. At least not like a real person. I kept thinking that if I had to chose between saving my husband or the baby- I would chose my husband in a heartbeat. I felt like an awful person for thinking that way but I just didn't feel the maternal love.

The second I held him in my arms, everything changed. While it still seems surreal that the two of us actually created another human, the connection and love is there now and stronger than I ever imagined. Everything I sacrificed for nine months and everything I went through during his birth to bring Jacob into the world has culminated into the bond I feel now. The bond just wasn't complete until he actually arrived. Now when I look at him and see parts of me and parts of my husband in his features, I fully realize how he is both a physical part of us and his own unique person.

The ability to create life is the most amazing gift given to us by whatever Greater Power is out there. It's breathtaking that we can participate in the process of creation. Nothing I ever do in my life will be able to top this experience. I'm totally overwhelmed.


Proto Attorney said...

He is just so precious!

I know, I felt the same way during the pregnancy. It was all just so surreal.

the dragonfly said...

Isn't it just amazing to look at your son and know he's yours? I still get that awestruck feeling sometimes, I look at the Little Mister and think, "You were created inside of me. You lived inside of me. How is that possible?!"

You have a gorgeous boy. :)

LEO said...

The range of emotions I just went through in class went something like this...
wanting to squeal with delight when I saw more GORGEOUS pictures of your son
agreeing wholeheartedly with how you felt during pregnancy
wanting to cry over how sweet your explanation of motherly love is

and really, what a CUTE little boy!

Googie Baba said...

He's so cute. And btw - I felt totally the same way. Having a baby seemed theoretical while I was pregnant, but the moment I met him it all changed. I would totally die for my kid.

Tranny Head said...

He's absolutely gorgeous. Congratulations!

And I, too, had that odd feeling that he was just theoretically going to happen. But then? My love for him grew every single day - and it still keeps growing.

congratulations again on a gorgeous little boy!

Hanah said...

He is so beautiful! Congratulations!