Thursday, September 11, 2008


I'm ready to be independent again.

Since I got home from the hospital last Saturday my mom has been staying with us. While it's been great having her here, especially at night, I'm so ready to have my house and my family to myself again.

I'm excited and ready for the three of us to spend alone time together. I'm ready to start getting into a new routine taking care of Jacob on my own during the day. I'm ready for some down time- I'm not used to having someone with me twenty four hourse a day. As much as I value her advice and experience, I need breathing room and a chance to try things out on my own. And if I have to tell her one more time that "no, I don't want to take a nap," I think I will scream.

On the other hand, I'm still not completely recovered. I'm still reliant on vicodin and monstrous doses of IB Profen. I still can't lift Jacob when he's in his car seat/carrier and I'm still pretty slow about getting in and out of bed and chairs. I hate being so helpless! I'm a very independent person and having to ask people to do things for me makes me feel so claustrophobic.

In other news, Jacob has been spending more time awake. This means more play time! He's so much fun to watch and I love when he just stares at me as if he were intently studying my every feature. It's amazing how well he already knows my voice and how he can distinguish it from the voices of other people. It's truly awesome to have such an important and distinguished role in his life.

Sorry but I'm obsessed with taking picture of Baby Jacob- what a fun model :)


LEO said...

It must be really hard to have to be dependent on people when you're used to being so self-reliant. I kind of feel like that already, like HAVING to let people hold doors for me at school because I can't hold my books, water, pull my stupid rolly-laptop bag AND open doors. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to recover fully and quickly, so it can't be too much longer. You have the rest of your life to be on your own with your family, enjoy the help while you have it ;)

It's nice that your mom can be there with you, even if you are ready to be on your own mentally. I'll be curious as to what you think about when you prefer to have long-term in-laws are starting to talk about when to schedule flights out from the east coast. I can't decide if I would rather them come right away to help out or after a few weeks/month once things have settled down more.

newduck said...

Oh lord, he is so cute in that little aligator thing! Little pants!

I sympathize with the struggle between needing your space back and wanting mom's help. I went through the same thing, but because I'm single I had people in my house for 6 weeks - argh! If you're anything like me, you'll miss their help but still really enjoy being able to settle down into your routine with your baby.