Friday, October 10, 2008

Lessons From Mommy-ville

Things I've learned:

1. How to put on mascara with one hand while bouncing up and down and only slightly resembling a transvestite afterwards.

2. How to nurse a baby while sleeping (Probably not recommended. I can see headlines now: "Baby dies from boob suffocation." My husband would say that that's not such a bad way to go...).

3. To do each of the following things in less than five minutes: shower (since when did shampooing become a luxury?), make dinner (hot dogs anyone?), eat dinner, have sex, use the bathroom.

4. That baby boys are born with excellent aim. Exposed baby wee wee. Mommy's open mouth. He shoots. He SCORES!

5. How torturous it is to have to go to the bathroom while you're feeding your baby. Seriously, doing the wiggly pee dance is not an option when your baby is trying to eat. And I can't deny that I've considered nursing on the toilet. But really, would you want to eat your dinner while YOU were taking a pee? Nu uh.

6. That mustardy baby poo can travel unnoticed. That's all I'll say about this one.

Now pictures of my insomniac baby (who says babies sleep all the time and can I sue them for some kind of crime against humanity?).

This is a rare occasion in the Palmer house: baby sleeping.


The Stink Face




6 comments:

Butterflyfish said...

Ok, I loved this as a flashback to Clownfish's baby days.

How to nurse a baby while sleeping (Probably not recommended. I can see headlines now: "Baby dies from boob suffocation." My husband would say that that's not such a bad way to go...).

Butterflyfish said...

oops.. got distracted... meant to say I avoided the boob suffocation by sleeping on a recliner for .... well, way too many months. He slept on the bobby on my lap.

Yeah. Boob feeding on demand -- i was an all-night diner.

Butterflyfish said...

*boppy

jeez

LL said...

Your baby is adorable- every time I look at pictures I start looking at calendars trying to figure out when it wouldn't be completely insane to have another!

LEO said...

Hilarious! And while I still really really love the smiley/adorable pics, the stink face is now my fave.

Trannyhead said...

Trannies are hawt! I thought you already knew that!