Friday, October 17, 2008

One Wife's Junk Is Her Husband's Home Decor

My husband is a neat freak. He always thinks the house is a mess, even when I think it's exceptionally tidy. That's why I totally thought he would appreciate that I organized and dusted the house for two hours.

Except when he walked in the door for lunch the only thing he said was, "Hey, where'd you put all my crap?!" In defense, I yelled, "I just spent TWO HOURS cleaning your house, thank you very much!" His reply was, "You didn't vacuum the rug."

OMG. Enough Said. But I will continue anyway...

This is what I don't get. I tidy up and the house is still a mess. But my husband considers the following to be valuable additions to our home decor:
  • a two year old receipt for The Kite Runner (and various other purchases)
  • business cards of people he doesn't even remember
  • padlocks that are missing keys
  • Seahawks construction hat
  • a bagillion fugly ceramic pinch pots he made in third grade
  • an old rooster serving tray (the infamous Cock Plate) that he found in the basement from the previous owner
Seriously, he can leave these things all over the house in random piles and be completely content. This makes me think he's only anal about MY stuff. I'm praying for the day when I'm brave enough to throw away the provacative girly poster he keeps in the basement along with all his ugly bachelor pad Dredge posters. But I'm going to need a lot more than "I'm the mother of your child" to keep myself alive when I do so.


FSD said...

LOL. Our husbands sound a lot alike. My husband always swears the house is "dirty" when, in my opinion, it's not. He'll talk about my nightstand being junky when his is full of random pieces of paper with notes scribbled about. Then he has a pile of stuff next to his side of the bed that seems so unnecessary to me (e.g., push-up bars I've never seen him use, along with a jump rope and workout bands, etc.---um, why not put those in a closet????).

CM said...

My husband is the exact opposite. Sometimes it drives me crazy that messes don't bother him at all, but now I'm feeling grateful that he would NEVER say to me, "You didn't vacuum the rug." (Which, by the way, we very rarely do.)

newduck said...

What is the matter with you? Don't you know that two year old Kite Runner receipts are selling for big bucks on ebay?

Uh, just kidding. Men are super exasperating.