Monday, February 16, 2009

Go On Have A Few!

There are plenty of ways in which a baby enhances and adds meaning to your life. Here are my all-time top ten favorites:

10. No Surprises Here: Tax deduction!
9. You get to enjoy those big, private family restrooms.
8. You always have an excuse for being late ("sorry, the baby pooped himself as I was strapping him in the car seat").
7. Random people are always smiling at you.
6. Baby smell... "I'm swear I'm not crazy but can I smell your son's head?"
5. You have unlimited opportunities to go to Chuck E. Cheese. And re-watch Disney movies. And play on the swings.
4. After you have a baby- people lower their expectations of your physical appearance (wow, you had a baby five months ago and you don't look like Dumbo's mom? You look fantastic!)
3. You finally have something to make small talk about at awkward social gatherings.
2. Baby cookies taste delicious! And they are low cal! I might share with Jacob.

My #1 favorite: The Carpool Lane! I can't believe babies count as REAL human people!Awesome!

*Note to Octuplets Lady: these benefits don't necessarilly increase with each additional child.


gudnuff said...

Good list! #9 and #5 kinda go with #2: the kid is just an excuse to get away with this stuff true. I've sorta graduated to one of those random people smiling, although the smelling I reserve for babies belonging to people I actually know already.

je said...

I'm sold already, but maybe I need to e-mail this to the FH...

Funny about #10. I just had to give an impromptu "oral argument" in my research/writing class defending an 8-month pregnant woman who was pulled over in the HOV lane.

LEO said...

hahah, I sometimes still feel like I'm cheating by going in the carpool lane. The other day when I drove up to school, I asked security for a carpool pass, and he looked at me like I was crazy. I said the baby is in the back seat, and he laughed. He said he almost referred me to the health center because he thought I was talking about my imaginary friend!