Wednesday, July 1, 2009

What's On My Mind

I could never have imagined the sleeplessness. The horrid smell of baby poo. The fact that I would pick another human's nose. The extreme and constant worry. The death and destruction of all nice clothing and furniture.

But the one thing I wish someone would have warned me about before I had a baby is the fact that babies constantly remind you how temporary everything is.

Everyone says, "they grow up too fast" but no one tells you exactly just how heartbreaking it is. They don't tell you that the joy of watching your child transform into his own person goes hand in hand with the tormet of knowing that it's all slipping too quickly from your grasp.

No one warns you that although your child will be the very thing that brings you to life, the mere fact that he wont be your baby forever could sting more than death itself.

I love each new stage Jacob enters. I love learning more about him and the person he is becoming. There is so much joy in raising children. But the joy is double sided. The more wonderful each moment is, the more sad I become over the fact that it wont last. Life is such a traumatic, double-edged sword.

5 comments:

je said...

What was that you said about being sentimental?? Seriously, just watching my friends babies grow up so quickly freaks me out. I'm glad you posted this warning for those of us who aren't there yet.

Anonymous said...

Hm. You know, I part ways with you here: "that he wont be your baby forever [] sting[s] more than death itself." It makes me a little sad that my baby is not a baby but the fact that she gets more fun each day, that i'm so proud of her, that she is developing into a wonderful person ... that doesn't sting at all!

gudnuff said...

For those of us who are irrationally melancholic over this issue, here's something I recently found that really touched me: http://fatfrumpyandfifty.blogspot.com/2009/06/only-yesterday.html

(cross-posted at http://madmanicmamas.blogspot.com/2009/06/only-yesterday-revisited.html)

Trannyhead said...

My solution? Have more babies. *snort*

FSD said...

So true! Truly bittersweet. (sniff, sniff)

I've cried many times in Zoe's short 5 months thinking of how fast she's growing. Heck, I was crying on day 2 and already dreading the day she leaves home.