Saturday, June 7, 2008

Small Things I Learned Today

Never eat chex mix you found on the floor. It may look delicious but its probably stale and covered in dust. Don't ask me how I know.

Never walk into a mini mart when you’re hungry. You will end up buying a king size package of Reeses peanut butter cups, a box of cheezits, a package of grated cheese, and bag of skittles.

Never sweat when you’re pregnant. People won’t stop telling you how much you “glow.”

Never marry a man. Men fart. Men are proud of their farts. Like the ability to fart loudly is some coveted skill. Disgusting.

4 comments:

postscript said...

that snack sounds good :]

~ps

the dragonfly said...

My husband talks about encouraging my son to fart. Lovely. [insert eye roll here]

Tranny Head said...

Does your husband do the "Dutch bedwarmer," too?

Good times.

Colleen said...

after growing up the only girl with 4 brothers, three uncles less than 4 years older than me, and a mess of male cousins, I laugh hysterically when someone farts in my house...even more when it really stinks. That's probably why I always got along better with men than women.