Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I hate when it's that time. You know, that time when your highlights have grown out to such a ridiculous length that your head has become two-toned. That time when your split ends have become about three inches long.

I HATE getting my hair done.

I hate the smell of chemicals. I hate people telling me my $1.50 Suave shampoo is ruining my hair (when I lied and said I used Pantene Pro-v, I got the same reaction and when I lied again and said I used Garnier, same lecture). I hate those ugly bib-apron things. I hate getting hair shavings stuck down the back of my shirt and itching like hell all day. But mostly, I hate sitting still! Seriously, I can feel my body aging each time I sit in a hair salon chair.

I made the mistake two years ago of trying out some highlights. Bad idea. They are such high maintenance. Once you get highlights you have to keep getting them done. I'm basically stuck in hair hell. I can grow my highlights out but that would result in me looking ridiculous for about a year or I can try to get my hair dyed all over, which totally scares me.

So what's a girl to do? Keep subjecting herself to the tortures of two hour long, million dollar haircuts in order to look somewhat decent? I'm considering shaving it all off and starting over but I'm not that desperate. Not yet anyway.

I used to get cheap-o 15 dollar haircuts. I miss those days. Except: for the crookedness of each cut, the imprecision of each style and the frustration of looking like my dad took a lawn mower or machette to my head. It's like a drive through for hair and just about as good in quality.

For each good hairstylist I've encountered, I've had to endure about five awful ones. It doesn't matter what hair school they went to either. I've had stylists from top-notch respectable schools botch up a simple foil. My favorite was the guy with the blue highlights. Let this be a warning to you all. NEVER get your hair highlighted by a guy with blue highlights. He took the first piece of foil off my head and said, "oops!" Not a good experience. I looked like a skunk.

So I tried the more expensive salon across the street. I basically got the same over-bleached look there too, except it was $114 instead of $45.

Today, I think I've finally found the stylist for me. I drove by her salon, the only one open today, and decided I looked nasty enough to drop some moolah on my hair. She did a great job. I spent enough money but it wasn't too bad considering the haircuts I've had in the past. And besides, I'm pregnant- so I deserve to spend money on my hair, be slightly superficial and have at least ONE part of me look good. I hope my hair stays this awesome for the post-delivery photos.


Tranny Head said...

You know why they always mock Suave? It's no better than the crap they sell but they don't make any money off you buying Suave . . . they only make money off you buying their overpriced crap! I get that same lecture about my Aussie!

newduck said...

Tranny Head is right. I hate those goddam salons. You know what I do? Look to see what brand of shampoo they're selling, then tell them THAT'S the brand you use. But of course, you have TONS of it at home, so you don't need to buy any more, thank you very much.

the dragonfly said...

I am so paranoid about people cutting my hair....I found someone I *love* and she is the only one who cuts my hair. And she lives in Michigan and I live in Germany. Doesn't matter...for the past four years I've gone back to Michigan to get my hair cut!