Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Bras With Flaps

are such a turn on. You know, the nursing bras that snap at the top of the cup with flabs you can pull down whenever you need to quickly expose some boob. I wonder if professional flashers wear something similar.

Since my huge-normous boobs have caused my favorite Victorias Secret bra to rip in half (seriously, how many people can say that they have done that!- Behold, the power of boob!), I had to go bra shopping during my lunch break. I decided that instead of buying a replacement bra that I should invest in a nursing bra. I'm gonna have to buy one sometime...

Trying on a nursing bra for the first time was a little disturbing. But I found myself weirdly turned on at the same time. I felt as if I was wearing the top half of an illicit costume. I felt as if I belonged in a porno, not in a maternity store. Anyway, after much mental debate, I settled on one that had some "growing" room, made my purchase and left the store. I kind of felt like they should have wrapped my purchase in a discreet, dark plastic bag as if it was something x-rated.

Before heading to my office I stopped at the corner store for a pop. I went up to pay and an older black man in front of me turned around and very obviously looked me up and down. Ok, nothing unusual. At eight months pregnant, I'm pretty much used to being gawked at everywhere I go.

But then, he said LOUDLY, "Girl, you gorgeous. Damn. Even with a belly, you gorgeous. Shiiiit, I'd still hit that. I could marry that shit."

At this point I was a little nervous and very embarassed. The guy behind the counter told him not to bother his customers and then the older man left. When the guy was gone and likely directing attention to someone else, I even began to feel a little bit flattered. Maybe in all my hugeness, I can still be attractive? Maybe I still got it? But then I went outside and saw that the older man was also hitting on an overweight teenager. He's clearly not very discriminatory in dolling out compliment.

Before finally making my way to my desk at work, I quickly stopped at the restroom. I swear I spend more time in that room than in my own office. Looking in the mirror, I noticed one of my tank top straps hanging off my shoulder. Apparantly, I forgot to "adjust" my tank top after bra shopping. No wonder everyone was looking at me!

So, moral of the story: if ppl are staring at you, it's either because (1) they have a thing for fat chicks or (2) you're boobs are hanging out.


Tranny Head said...

Warning - your boobs are going to change size again dramatically when your milk comes in. I was never able to wear the nursing bra I bought before giving birth and I had to go shopping for one about a week after birth.

Oh - then I realized nursing bras suck and haven't worn one since. Just a regular bra.

newduck said...

Tranny head is right, but on the other hand you are going to be SOOO glad you bought that bra. Trying to shop for one after you've given birth is really hard for a number of reasons, not the least of which is you're leaking everywhere and pretty much ruin every one you try on.

Sorry, that was gross. But it's true.

Anonymous said...

bravado nursing bras are good - you might also try a nursing tank from target .