Sunday, December 28, 2008

What She Thinks About During Sex

My husband started making the moves on me last night but I wasn't in the mood. But who am I to turn a man down? Especially a man who wants ME. A man who gets excited about ME. Regardless of the mood I am in, it is always reasurring to be the object of someone's desire. So I caved. Well, physically anyway.

In my head, my thoughts were going in all directions BUT the bedroom. At least three times during our session I had to stop myself from making my internal dialogue external.

The night went something like this- ok I exercised my creative license with the sex talk, but don't you wish we talked like this?:

He says: "You're so sexy baby."
She wants to say, "Did you ever send a Christmas card to the Stanleys? They sent us one but I can't remember sending them one."
She actually says: "You make me so hot."

He says: "Is this how you like it?"
She wants to say: "Our cute customized return address labels were delivered today- I can't wait to show them to you!"
She actually says: "oooooh, yeah- like that!"

He says: "You're so naughty- here's your spanking."
She wants to say: "Should I get a sitter for New Year's Eve or should we just hang out at home?"
She actually says: "Spank me harder- yeah..."

And another Mommy Milestone is complete.


Proto Attorney said...

Hahaha, sad but true. Men's brains seem to shut off the moment there is a diversion of blood flow. Women, on the other hand, multitask. ;)

LEO said...

I can't stop laughing... at the last like 4 posts you wrote. I'm sure almost every woman can relate to the thoughts during sex, but I especially love how you were thinking about Christmas cards and return labels... I totally understand the excitement.

um, and Jacob is so cute ... looks like he had a great first Christmas!

newduck said...

OMG I just about lost it laughing at that post. Hilarious.

CM said...

Oh, that reminds me, I need to call a sitter too. :)

Hilarious -- although I have to admit, my mind wandered pre-baby too.

FSD said...

That's hilarious!!! You're so funny! Does your husband read this blog? LOL.

Trannyhead said...


I'm totally the one who's all lost in the moment. I think if an elephant came through the room and started to break stuff I probably wouldn't notice. I'm one green bean-crazed tranny.