Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Son May Be Cute But He Would Never Earn A Blue Ribbon At The 4H Fair

Pediatrician: "I bet Jacob likes to talk these days. What kinds of words can he say?"
Me: "Well, he can say 'boots,' 'hot,' 'shoes,' 'kitty,' 'duck,' 'cheese,' 'step,' 'dip,' 'no no no' and 'uh-oh.' You know, all the important words.
Pediatrician: "Dip? How did he learn the word dip?
Me: "Um...I let him coat his food in ketchup in order to get him to eat. He loves it. He thinks it's the greatest thing since butt paste. The problem is that he learned to suck the ketchup off his food and re-dip it. He is way too smart!
Pediatrician: "So does Mr. Smarty know any of his body parts yet?"
Me: "Oh yeah, he knows a couple."
Me: "Jacob, where are your eyes?"

Jacob proudly points at his ears.

Me: "Um. Ok. He really does know it, I swear. Jacob, where's your NOSE. Jacob, your NOSE.

Jacob points to his mouth.

Me: "Silly guy. Jacob that's your mouth. Where's your MOUTH?"

Jacob points to his nose.

Me: "Jacob, where is your 'wee wee?'"

Jacob correctly points to his wee wee. Go figure...

15 month stats: weight clocked in at 23 pound- the 25th percentile. Height clocked in at 31 inches- around the 50th percentile and, to continue his monstrous head trend, his head circumpherence measured 50 cm- right at the 97th percentile. I'm so glad that each check up verifies the medical necessity of my c-section.

Sadly, he had to get four shots total- his hib and hepatitis shots as well as TWO flu shots. Poor guy!


Anonymous said...

He's a true boy!

And, uhm, what pray tell is butt paste?

Proto Attorney said...

Awesome! And yes, other food items are merely the delivery vehicle for ketchup. Fingers too. :)