Saturday, February 13, 2010

Apathy Beyond The Point Of No Return

When it comes to the bar exam, I am a crazy mixture of bored out of my mind and terrified to death.

I am seriously SO DONE with this crap. I'm sick of studying. I'm sick of the law. I'm sick of it all. I see bar exam questions and want to puke. This is ridiculous. I want my life back. I want to have a sense of dignity and autonomy and FREE TIME again.

I almost want to throw my hands in the air and say SCREW IT! I'll just make up the rest of the crap I don't know! I'm almost to the point of apathy. Being a stay at home housewife with no bar exam blues in sight is almost sounding too good to me (too bad I owe an elephant's weight in debt).

I have to force myself to keep tredging along. Force myself not to quit. Convince myself that it really does matter. There is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere....maybe it just needs a new lightbulb?

Or another new pair of shoes?


Cecilia said...

Goodness, do I hear ya. Barbri gives official permission to take a half day or day off to keep your sanity - try that? I'm doing it tomorrow so I can take the kiddo to a birthday party. Also, I went out for sushi for lunch and that helps immensely.

I'm finding doing MBE's is easy, to the point that it's fun compared with the other stuff. Too bad you dont have that. Do you have performance tests? Did you got to barbri's simulated test day? I found it really helpful . . . .

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Cee. I vividly remember wanting to stab a letter opener through my eyes the last two days of bar studying. I thought that I was going to lose my mind. You WILL get through it.

Proto Attorney said...

Yep, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's the train called The Bar Exam. But don't worry, after the impact, you can self-medicate with significant amounts of alcohol, and it will all just be a painful memory. You will get your life back. Then you get to practice law for the next 50 years to pay off your student loans. Yay.