Sunday, March 16, 2008

Is Driving Naked A Crime?

After class last night as I got into my car, I had a sexy idea. In the dark of the empty parking lot, I removed my bra and my shirt and put my jacket on. On the top, I was wearing nothing but my jacket, which ties in the front. I couldn't wait to arrive home and surprise my husband. I know this sounds crazy, and I'm embarrassed to admit that I actually did this. Pregnancy makes you do weird things- like buy the jumbo sized bag of Sour Patch Kids at the grocery store and run over old ladies in motorized wheelchairs to be first in line for a hamburger at the Food Court.

I started the hour drive home but I kept thinking about what I was going to do to my husband when I got home (increased sex drive maybe?). Needless to say, I got a little distracted. I quickly snapped back to reality, however, when I saw flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

I groaned silently and mumbled some words of pity for the hapless victim of those sirens. But then something seemed odd. Those flashing lights were following me! I looked down at my spedometer and realized I was going 70 in a 55 zone. Crap!

I pulled to the side of the road and waited for the cop to approach. I was nervous and very depressed about the idea of paying a speeding ticket- my driving record until tonight was spotless. As he approached, I rolled down my window. He asked for my ID. When I went to dig it out of my purse on the passenger side of the vehicle, that is when I remembered I was practically naked under my overcoat. There in plain view of the officer, was my black size C bra- hanging out on the passenger seat. Right next to my shirt.

Hmmm, at least I could try to flash him to get out of a ticket....Realizing my nakedness made me ten times more nervous than I was before. What if he noticed- is driving naked illegal? What if, in handing him my ID, one of my boobs fell out? How could I explain a ticket for indecent exposure to my husband? Well, it turned out ok in the end. I got off with a warning. I didn't even have to make up an excuse for speeding, the cop practically made them up for me. I could totally get used to this whole cleavage thing.

Next time I decide to drive naked, I will be much more cautious.


LL said...

hahahahaha - this post cracked me up. I'm actually not sure on the legality off driving naked, but I'm glad it helped you get out of your ticket ;)

Law Student Hot Mama said...

Driving naked IS a crime! My dad (a lawyer) had a client who drove naked and got busted. I LOVE that you drove naked.

the dragonfly said...

Oh my goodness!!!! Too too too funny. I remember the days of pregnancy insane sex drive. :) I never drove naked, though.


Anonymous said...

It's great that you drove naked! That is something everyone should try, at least occasionally.

In some states, the mere act of being naked in a car on a public road is illeagal, whereas in others you would have to be observable for it violate an "indecent exposure" law. In "real life", the cops and the court are going to do what they want and will find a reason to let you off or convict you as they see fit.