Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Recurring Battle With Subway

The international Subway Franchise operates according to a universal and unwritten rule:
Thou shalt have no more than 5 olives on thy six inch sub.

I love olives (back, not green). I never thought to put them on a sandwich until I saw them among Subway's sandwich condiments. A veggie subway sandwich with olives is one of those little things that makes life so rich and beautiful. For the 2.5 minutes it takes me to devour the sandwich, I am not just content but spellbound, I don't think I'm capable of carrying on a conversation or even retaining any semblance of an intelligent thought.

There is one defect in this blissfull experience, however, and that is that the subway sandwich engineers refuse to put more than five olives on any one six-inch sandwich. This is so frustrating! Why so stingy? I'm not on the Jared diet, and if I was, would a handful of olives really put me over the edge of the calorie count? Would it kill them to have a little generosity with their condiments?? SERIOUSLY. How much money are they saving from skimping on ten or fifteen extra olives?

This has bothered me so much that I started to request "extra olives." Upon hearing this request, the sandwich engineer will faithfully sprinkle a whopping total of SEVEN olives on my sandwich. At first I thought it was a fluke or that they didn't hear me. But then this happened every time I requested extra olives and at different Subway franchises too. I just gave up. You know, I would be willing to pay an extra 50 cents if they would simply put a generous serving of olives on my sandwich. But I have such a hard time communicating to Subway what a normal serving of olives should be that I feel like explaining "generous portion" would be a hopeless task.

Next time I go to Subway, I'm freaking bringing my own sandwich bag of olives. (I'm also considering organizing a mass picket outside my local subway location, but the logistics aren't fully formed yet).


CM said...

Maybe you could ask for LOTS of extra olives. I mean, actually say, "Could I have LOTS of extra olives, like 20 olives?" Then if they only put 7, you could say, "13 more olives?" They might think you are crazy and annoying, but who cares, you will get your olives. And maybe in time they will just think you are crazy.

LL said...

I do that for almost every veggie at subway. My order: "lettuce, just a little more lettuce, extra tomatoes, could I have a few more, please?, cucumbers, 3 more please, pickles, yes extra pickles, and olives- more olives, thanks."

Takes forever, but I refuse to let them make me skimp on the veggies- they're the whole reason I love subway! It's my salad on bread.

newduck said...

THANK YOU! This drives me nuts about Subway. I like to get a vegetarian sandwich, with nothing but cheese, mayo, mustard, salt, pepper, and some olives. Given that I'm paying full price for little more than a slice of bread, you'd think I could get more than 3 olives per sandwich. Oh, and when I ask for extra cheese? They ALWAYS remind me it costs extra (do I look like the 50 cents is going to break me?) and then grudgingly peel off the smallest piece of cheese they can find. Bastards.

newduck said...

Crapola. Now I'm craving a Subway sandwich.

Anonymous said...

Same thing here. I ask for Lots of EXTRA OLIVES...they dont skimp on the Pickles though... The freaking olives. I have to ask 3 times... And they look at me like Im not going to notice they only put two slices of olives when i said EXTRA OLIVES. YOu have to keep in mind, their robots. Coporate slaves, and they dont want to rock the boat. Ive gone as far to say "Look, how much is it going to cost to get a handfull of olives" The look I get is pure ignorance? "Umm..."(turns to someone and asks in spanish) ".50cents extra.." AND THEY STILL SKIMP YOU! Theres an intallian deli right around the corner with the best damn cuts and when i get olives... Its like a layer of olives...Sometimes to much. the cost is about the same. IM going to try the "25 olives please...No no..15 more" next time I go.