20 Items Or Less

I love my neighborhood Safeway. I'm there more than I am at class. I go everyday to select fresh Diet Snapple for my fridge and to replace the box of Cheez-its I shoved down my throat the night before. Ok, I know I'm pregnant so I might have random craving and I might eat more than normal, but I'm still embarrassed to admit to my husband the fact that I can eat a box of Cheez-its in one sitting.

So I have one "filler" box of Cheez-its that I keep on the pantry shelf. I eat a little bit out of that every day- you know, the amount a normal person would eat. Then I have my "stash" box of Cheez-its that I hide with the cooking oil or the flour or someplace my husband would never look. I can gorge freely from that bag and not have to own up to it. The tricky part: what to do with all the empty Cheez-it boxes that I'm accumulating...

Ok, so back to Safeway: I was at Safeway the other day, I went for my usual snapple and cheez-its as well as to buy some fun bath oils and accessories. I couldn't decide whether to buy the lavendar milk bath, the body oil lather, or the green bath crystals that smell like Icy Hot and make you tingle all over. So I put them all in my cart. On top of that I bought 6 packs of M&M's - in my own defense, it was buy three get three free. When I get to the express check out, I'm pretty sure the check-out guy thinks I'm a crazy person with a weird bath-M&M fetish. Oh well.

Well after the guy rings me up, he says, "I have to remind you that the express lane has a limit of 20 items..."

I look at him like, so? what? give me my stuff so I can take an M&M bubble bath.

Then he add, "you have 22 items."

OMG, my jaw probably dropped. Is this guy for real? No one is in line behind me. Who cares if I was over by two items? Most of my items were small, six of them were little bags of candy! I knew he was being ridiculous but I couldn't help but feel really really guilty. I took my bags and left the store with my head hanging low. I felt like I was being kicked out of Safeway for shop lifting or something.

Now, I will never feel the same about my beloved Safeway. A feeling of shame will always hang over me like a big fat cloud.

Sigh. I hope Albertsons is good about keeping its Cheez-its supply stocked.