Saturday, April 5, 2008

Inner Tantrum

People who know I am pregnant can tell that I'm showing- even if it's just a little. Yesterday, I ran into someone who knows about my pregnancy and she commented, "oh, you're popping out a little. you look so cute!" I know she was just being nice and sweet about it and I know she was complimenting me but I totally wanted to SPAZZ out on her.

My lack of a waist is killing me. Like one day this week it just decided to take off on a five month sabatical. I hate wearing my tight fitting tops because I think now I just look ridiculous. I have a small frame and so a normal sized preggo (I hate the word "preggo"- it reminds me of spagetti sauce) belly on me makes me feel like a bulbous circus freak. Like I'm walking around with a huge stomach goiter.

When this person told me how cute I look, I may have smiled on the outside, but on the inside I was bubbling with un-explainable rage. I was yelling all kinds of explitives at a decibal level closely bordering the "public nuisance" range.

Why? Because both my regular clothes and maternity clothes DON'T FIT. Because the Bella Band is useless on my hipless body. Because I feel so damn uncomfortable in all this extra bulge. Because my body collects fluids all day long so by the end of the day I feel as if I have gained 10 pounds since the morning. Because I can't control my own body and it's driving me insance. Because I don't look pregnant, I just look like I just won a hamburger eating contest.

So Don't Freaking tell me I look cute! All you non pregnant people who enjoy tracking my weight gain for your own amusement! And stop staring at my mid-section trying to find the "baby bulge" all the Freaking time! At least notice how awesome my huge boobs are or something!

There, I'm done. Now I can study and resume civilized, controlled, normal people behavior.

4 comments:

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I hate the "bloated but not yet pregnant" phase. Don't worry - you're fast approaching 20 weeks when you can bask in your roundness (that's when I started really looking pregnant, anyway.) I used to hate when people told me I looked great, too. At least you know that now they're probably telling you the truth - around 40 weeks you know they're lying blatantly!

Butterflyfish said...

Wow! Nice tatas!

*see, don't you feel better?*

Proto Attorney said...

Draw string pants and oversized t-shirts. It's the only way to go at this point.

newduck said...

I hope none of my blog readers will see this comment because this type of thing makes people hate you, but if it makes you feel better: I had the exact same problem and understand, but the benefit of having this body type is that by two weeks post-partum I had lost ALL my pregnancy weight (every single pound). I stood naked as a jaybird in front of the mirror and I swear you would never know I had ever been pregnant. And I was monstrously huge when I was pregnant. Keep in mind that you'll probably get your old body back pretty quickly, even if you have to suffer for the next few months.