My tummy seems to have "popped" and it literally happened over night. It's actually a little bit creepy. One day I'm going along, not looking pregnant at all- maybe a little "pouchy." Then I wake up and there it is staring at me defiantly in the mirror...the belly. It's not a huge belly- it's still small and easy to hide but it's definately there in its distinct globe-like shape. The pouch that used to be more evenly distributed across my stomach and could have been mistaken for the result of eating too many white cheddar cheetos has defined itself into a distinct Preggosphere.
People are telling me that I am starting to show. And when the strangers at the gym see me in my awesome spandex shorts, it is obvious to them that I'm pregnant. I love when men on my gym's indoor track get all determined as soon as they notice that they have been passed by a pregnant lady. This seems to set off a "manhood" alert bell and compels even the oldest, fattest, most out-of-shape men to pick up their pace to catch up.
I'm still very self conscious going out into public in a fitted shirt. When I went out in public before, my pregnancy was still my own little secret. It felt sacred and private. Now, I feel like this intimate part of my personal life is on display for everyone. I know it shouldn't be a big deal because almost half of the country's population becomes pregnant at some point, but it's still hard for me to get used to. I feel like everyone is staring at my belly all the time. I have yet to have a stranger ask me when I'm due but the attention I think I am attracting (whether imagined or not) sometimes gets old.
Other times I wish pregnant people had to wear little badges that say "I''m pregnant" or something. Then I probably could cut to front of bathroom lines and not feel guilty when ordering an extra cookie at the cafe. Also, then I could finally know whether or not the lady that I always see in my law school's bathroom (we must share the same pee cycle) is pregnant. She has a belly that looks like a pregnant belly, but she is a little larger, so it's hard to tell. I want to ask her but what if I'm wrong? How horrible would that be?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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3 comments:
I wrote almost the same thing in my blog on March 20, 2007 when I was about 20 weeks along: "And maybe I'm just not fully comfortable with my pregnant state. It makes me uncomfortable that total strangers know such an intimate detail about my life just by looking at me- it actually makes me blush when people comment on my baby bump."
I enjoyed it more when I got more used to my shape and cute maternity clothes :) Finding out the baby's sex helped too - it made him more real and exciting to me (and I could stop referring to the baby as "it").
I will never assume someone is pregnant, unless she drops out a baby in the middle of the floor. I would be waaaay too mortified to make the wrong assumption! However, my husband (the sensitive soul he is) says that asking someone when they're due is always okay because either 1. they're pregnant, or 2. they might not realize they look pregnant and need to shed some pounds, so you're doing them a favor. Yeah, I think I'll just keep my comments to myself!
OMG - Don't DON'T ask her! It could be a total disaster.
Also, I second ll's comment that you'll enjoy it more later. At the end, I was embracing my status as a beluga whale. Oh, and yes, everyone is staring at your belly.
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