Every since Jacob was born and I took that semester off of law school, I've been looking at life really differently. I used to view life as a series of tasks to finish and goals to accomplish. I was very focused on "end results." Even having Jacob was, in some ways, a task to complete, I wanted to get one baby cooked and done with before I started work. But now, I can't help put relax and view life as (cliche alert) a journey.
I'm revelling in the moment. I've put aside my task list for life and have started to enjoy whatever comes my way. I enjoy each day I have with Jacob, the smiles and the grumpiness, the good nap days and the bad nap days. I think this "life as a journey" mentality is a Mother's coping mechanism. If I measured the value of my life right now by how much I can get done or how closer I become to achieving my life goals, I would be walking around in a cloud of complete and utter disappointment. You can't get much done with an infant in the house. Also, this prevents me from seeing Jacob's babyhood as something I have to survive and get through. Instead, it helps me appreciate the small wonders that occur each day. He already is a little person with a little personality- I need to enjoy him NOW.
This mentality has carried over to my law school experiences too this semester. As I get closer to graduating I realize how incredible of an experience law school is. I'm soaking up the wisdom of my professors. I am actually thinking about how each case I read adds to my legal knowlegde. I *gasp* stopped surfing the web during lectures and have actually paid attention to discussions. I'm learning from my classmates and even ENJOYING them this semester. In fact, so far I'm spending this semester enjoying almost every minute I spend in law school
Knowing that my time as a student is limited and drawing to an end has really helped me enjoy the whole experience of being a law student so much more. I'm so much more thankful for the opportunities to expand my thinking and interact with professors. I love learning so much- law is a great field for people who love academics and who crave constant new intellectual challenges. I guess I'm just completely happy with where I am in my legal education and in my path towards a legal career.
This is such a stark difference from my feelings over law school last year. I was frustrated, exhausted and felt like I was getting nowhere. I don't know exactly what happened. I just know that I get so much more out of life when I don't worry too much about the end result and focus instead on each moment that carries me through the day.