Me: "We are driving an eleven year old Subaru. Why the heck do you have to park as far away from the store as possible?! Who cares if someone dings the door!"
Husband: "I just like parking away from other cars. It's better."
Me: "Fine. I'm staying here."
Me: "Dude, it's raining and we have to lug around the baby carseat. I'm not walking that far!"
Husband: "UHHHHH. Are you kidding?"
Me: "Newp. Staying RIGHT here!"
Husband: "Fine. YOU pick out the spot then"
Another win for me.
Me [calling husband]: "Hey, it's me."
Husband: "Me who?"
Me: "It's your LOVA"..."And don't you dare say "which one" because I'm your only!"
Husband: "Fine, what do you want?"
Me: "What time will you be home? I'm making an awesome surprise dinner."
Husband: "I have a late meeting so probably not until 7:30."
Me: "Wait, aren't you going to ask me what I'm making?"
Husband: "Would you tell me if I did?"
Me: "It's going to be so amazing."
Husband: "Just tell me."
Me: "No, you have to ask."
Husband: "Sigh. Fine. What are you making?"
Me: "I'm not telling! It's a surprize!"
Me: "Can we go to Hawaii this summer?!"
Husband: "Hawaii is for tourists. Let's go to Mexico."
Me: "But I love Hawaii! You can body board and hang out on the beach drinking margaritas. And have hotel sex!"
Husband: "You can do all of that in Mexico, for a lot less money."
Me: "I don't want to go to Mexico."
Husband: "Why not?!"
Me: "They don't speak English, you can't drink the water AND they put those stupid towel animals on your bed!"