Sunday, August 10, 2008

Nothing To Do But Have A Baby

Yay, work is done. Boo, work is done.

It was kind of a relief to put work behind me. The last two weeks have been especially difficult forcing myself to be motivated enough to get out the door. The ferry boat seats were starting to get uncomfortable. I was getting so fed up with people staring at me like I'm a spectacle too-at least they should have the decency to be inconspicuous in their gawking. Then I had the uphill walk to work. The time it took me to battle those hills was steadily increasing. I noticed that I was getting to work a little later each day. But it was a good work out I guess.

The past three months I mostly stayed in my office and work fervently on my projects. I really only chatted with the attorneys I worked with. But I was surprised at how many other people seemed genuinely sad to see me go. I thought they barely knew I was there. But I got hugs from a lot of unexpected people. The partners told me I could come back next summer too!

I had a great experience writing real motions and researching all kinds of interesting legal issues. The attorneys went out of their way to involve me in the strategies of litigation and to make sure I was learning the ropes. I think I know what is expected of a first year associate now. I'm a lot more confident in my abilities too. But all that said, I'm ready to be done! This is my first real break from law since Christmas break and I'm totally gonna eat it up.

At the same time, I wish I extended my termination date by a thousand weeks. Now I have nothing to keep my mind off being pregnant. I have nothing to occupy myself as I go through the infamous "waiting game." Now, I actually HAVE to have a baby. There is no backing out now.

Last week I was anxious to be done and to just meet the baby. Now that it's looming over my head and could practically happen anyday, I'm getting a little freaked out.

The magnitude of how our lives will change and what I will have to go through is starting to dawn on me. It's not just a fun game- it's not like waiting nine months for the best concert of all time. It's a major event and it changes your life forever. Plus, it involves IV's, pain, hospitals and sharp needles....yikes. It's not just a "someday" looming over the horizon. It's actually gonna happen. And supposedly, it will happen in less than two weeks!

Excuse me while I run to the store to rent two weeks worth of Desperate Housewives re-runs to keep my mind from thinking about it. And two weeks worth of powdered donut holes.


the dragonfly said...

There's nothing I can say that will help...I remember that the last bit of waiting is so frustrating!!...but you'll get through it. And then you'll have a beautiful baby! :)

PT-LawMom said...

Ugh, I hated those last two weeks. Just don't try the castor oil thing... trust me. Sex is good, though. ;) LOL

Erica said...

The last weeks ARE really interminable. I think it's Mother Nature's way of easing labor anxiety. You're just so sick of pregnancy that every little twinge is exciting -- you think, "hooray, I'm finally going into labor!!!" Probably not something you could've imagined yourself saying a mere three months ago.

I've never heard of anyone having much success with the "folk" methods of inducing labor. I'm impressed that pt-lawmom actually tried castor oil. That is a brave, brave and/or desperate, desperate woman. See what pregnancy drives us too??!!??

Also impressed she was hanging in there with sex at the very end....Wish I could say the same (sure my husband seconds that.) I'm a little jealous -- it just seems like such a hip, cool, modern way to be.

I'm a pretty hang-up free, sex positive type of girl, but pregnancy turned me into a cold fish!!!! Everytime the action started, I'd get these mental images of myself as one of those great big sea lions you see on the Discovery Channel, heaving their bulk around on the beach, looking incredibly inelegant and graceless....

Killed it for me everytime....