Thursday, February 21, 2008

Does The Ring Mean Nothing?

If running four miles and slipping back into day clothes without taking a shower, smelling like a gym bag with feet, and having an unmade-up face with dark circles under your eyes will not stop a man from hitting on you, you would at least think the wedding ring would right? Wrong, I guess.

I was minding my own business at the ferry terminal, finishing some school work on my laptop when a guy who introduces himself to me as "Jaybird" politelty yet unappealingly tries to strike up a conversation. He starts asking me all kinds fo personal questions and I'm trying to dodge them all without being too rude. My latest tactic is to just smile annoying guys off- as if I think they are crazy-- apparently this doesn't work.

"That's a really pretty smile you have. You just made my day." says "Jaybird" IF that's his REAL name.

Ok, I'm a sucker for compliments, even inappropriate and unwelcomed ones. I unintentionally smile bigger. Ok, fine, I admit that I'm insecure like that.

Jaybird is relentless: "That's great that you're in school. I bet your teachers talk like this...." he procedes to do an awful impression of a deep monotone voice. I want to tell him that none of my professors talk like that but I smile and ignore him some more.

"I keep meaning to go back to school. I'm going to study archeology." Ok he caught my interest.

"Just like Indiana Jones." I finally respond, I can't help making an Indiana Jones reference. He's my personal hero.

"yeah, I loved those movies...it would be cool to just start digging and find a pyramid or something." Says Jaybird.

Ummmm..... I'm pretty sure there is much more to it than that. "Did you know the fourth one is coming out in a month!?" Ok, I'm clearly a dipshit, but I'm still overtaken by bliss knowing the long awaited fourth installment of Indiana Jones is around the corner.

In the end Jaybird asks me if he can take me to the movie when it comes out. Damn. I hate saying no, I feel bad. Perhaps did I lead him on? Nah. Trying to be obvious, I scratch my face with my ring finger, flashing some diamonds and hoping he will catch on. Come on guy, I'm trying to help! But I guess I need to throw a brick at his head with the message written on it because finally, in front of the entire line of passengers waiting to board, he asks me really loudly if I have a boyfriend. I break the news and I am finally free of his pursuits.

I used to think wearing a wedding ring would rid me of unwanted, horny men. I think my wedding ring is broken.

4 comments:

Law Student Hot Mama said...

1. Men don't look at women's hands at all. Only other women notice wedding rings.

2. You're a lot nicer of a person than I am. I probably would have gone the "You know, buddy . . . I have a huge penis" route . . . because I'm a bad person.

lawmom said...

I Would have to second hot mama. If is not a nipple ring then men aren't lookin for it.

newduck said...

I can one-up you - when I got pregnant I thought I would be at least temporarily free of gross men trying to pick up on me. No! I'm so pregnant I have to walk through doorways sideways, but they're STILL asking me out. Men are freaks.

Googie Baba said...

Cee, you would think telling them you are gay would make them go away, but not, they just become that much more interested. So the last time a guy hit on me and I couldn't ditch him, I told him I had three kids. That did the trick.