Sunday, February 3, 2008

Just A Little Lonely

I don't mean to keep writing "woe is me" posts, but that's just how I feel lately. I'm almost done, I swear. It feels much better to write it out when I feel depressed so thank you internet, fellow bloggers who put up with it, and the First Amendment right to free speech.

I realized after my rant from last post, exactly why I was feeling so sad, well one reason anyway. I realized that I was just feeling lonely (ok, maybe lonely on steroids). I felt abandoned all weekend. I was alone with no one to bounce off of. My husband has a lot of friends and he was visiting them all weekend, I had no one.

I don't have friends in law school. I was just getting to know people in my section last year- but now that we aren't in sections, I never see them. My good friend from law school took the semester off, so I basically roam the halls in between my classes and stare at a sea of faces I don't know. I feel so lonely at school. I see everyone else forming cliques and talking about their law school parties and I just feel so left out. I'm horrible at making new friends because I like to have close friends rather than acquaintances...and I just dont have the time to make those close friends.

I just started finding my place in Chicago, but then I graduated and moved back to the Northwest. All my highschool friends have fled the area or just aren't the stuff friends are really made of. I know it takes a friend to have a friend. That's part of the problem. With work, school and everything else, I dont have time for a social life. Right now, I'm really missing it. I need a girl friend that I can tell everything to. Someone I can go out with or just get coffee with. I'm tired of adopting my husband's friends. Although myhusband is my best friend, most of the time, I'm tired of relying only on him for my friendship needs.

Just so lonely....(whenever I say that word the lyrics to Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton run through my head, lol)

*BTW: after that last post I decided to go see a movie by myself, I hadn't done that in a while. It was kinda fun. I saw 27 Dresses, which I did not have high hopes for going in, but it was sooo cute! I love the actress in that movie, she is such a real person (not model skinny- but human) and she's adorable/beautiful. The movie wasn't overly sappy- I thought there were some witty parts even. Made me stop crying for two consecutive hours.


Law Student Hot Mama said...

The truth is, you don't want to hang out with those law school people. Seriously. They're not worth befriending.

PT-LawMom said...

You know what helped me a TON when I was pregnant? Birth boards. I tried iVillage, but there were WAY too many women there so I tried You find your due date month and join together with other women to talk about your pregnancy and stay together through birth and early childhood. Most of the women in our group have been together since we were all pregnant together back in 2003 and now our kids are FOUR!! Some of us have formed really close bonds and many of us have met in person. It may not be for you, but it's worth a shot. And talk about a great place to complain about what you're going through with people who know what you're talking about!! :)

PT-LawMom said...

P.S. I think I have the corner marketed on "woe is me" posts, so I could use a little competition. Keep it coming. :)

Googie Baba said...

Hey Cee,

I agree with what the two other posters have said. I also think that law school is a really alienating experience especially if you are not traditional student. You become isolated because of the large amount of time you have to spend alone studying, and you don't get to see your family nearly as much as you did before.

I have found, I have good periods and bad periods. When I am feeling down, I just try to remember that it will past. I know that isn't terribly profound, but it helps me. I have also found that if I connect with only a couple of people, I can handle the hoi polloi much better. At rate, hang in there.

PT-LawMom said...

Duh, market cornered. See what I mean about my brain. Woe is me!