Search Phrases, Just For Fun

I really enjoy when other bloggers post a list of google search phrases that lead readers to their site. It's incredible the crazy things that people go to google for. Google has replaced the need for older brothers and sisters, at least when it comes to looking for answers to that burning, sometimes inappropriate question. I was the oldest in my family so I had to keep my questions to myself. If I only had google back then.

I decided that I finally have enough weird search phrases to make my own list. This is what some of my readers MEANT to find:

"eat my boobs" - what does this even mean
"c boobs in b bra" - um, buy a new bra? Unless you like boobage muffin tops.
"melted barbies" - someone is a pyro femme nazi?
"I have to pee" - do you REALLY need google for this one?
"my husband's white briefs" - phew, at least he doesn't wear a thong.
"baby overdosed today" - you need a visit by Mr. Poison the sticker man and a call from CPS.
"blueberry lentil icecream"- EW
"grazing boobs" - must be a new variety of boob that chews its own cud and eats grass.
By far the most popular google search is "don't even look at me wrong." I wonder if this is a song lyric?

Other readers want to know:

"how quick can you get a bed sore" - shall we conduct a science experiment?
"how many calories in 12 slices of cucumber" - I have some health conscious readers.
"what does it mean when he takes off his wedding ring?" - it means he's cheating on you with a bustier more boobalicious woman, leave him or get plastic surgery.
"what to do if you eat rotten spiders" - why would you eat any spider?
"Do I have plum boobs?" - good question.
"How do you look at someone's boobs while they are sleep?" CREEPY.