Monday, February 18, 2008

Panties That Have A Lot To Say

It's been a while since I've worn a thong. Since I like to work out and they do not make the best workout undergarments, I really only wear them for special occassions. But, apparently, it's been much too long...

You know it's been too long when you forget which part of the thong is the back and which part is the front. Sadly, it wasn't until the thong was halfway up my thigh that I remembered the string goes in the back...good thing no one was watching.

Panty tangent:

Those shorts and sweats with the writing on the butt have always bewildered me. Why would anyone want writing on their tush? Apparently they have a Jennifer Lopez booty inferiority complex and need some extra attention drawn to their backsides. That's what I always thought anyway. Thank you contemporary fashion for giving me something to laugh at.

So I went to Victoria's Secret to buy new panties- they always have the 5 for $25 deal but they never have my size in any of the cute colors or prints. It never fails. I was stuck with grey, grey with orange stripes (ew), plain vanilla, physcodellic flower print eye caught a blue! It was too good to be true, a cute blue panty in my size! I swiped it off the table and rushed my goods to the check out counter. Days later as I was washing my new batch of panties I discovered something shocking.

Out of all the phrases and words to put on the backside of a pair of panties, some are clearly more appropriate than others. Out of all the phrases to be taken out of context when placed on the backside of a panty, some are simply beyond amusing. On the backside of my cute pair of panties was the phrase, "Wish you were here." This would be just weird if it meant the general conotation of wish you were with me...but clearly this phrase could have the more specific conotation of- wish you were my, ahem, butt.

Not surprisingly, my husband thinks these panties are very funny.


Law Student Hot Mama said...

Make sure you wear them to your next OB check-up. Refuse to remove them when they tell you to strip and put on the paper gown thingie. Cause a few raised eyebrows in the office . . .

newduck said...

You know what the most disturbing part is? They were probably marketed for 13-year-olds. I hate Victoria's Secret.